Trump-Hater Smears Peanut Butter on 30 Cars She Mistakenly Thought Belonged to His Supporters

New York Magazine ^ | October 21, 2016 | Adam K. Raymond

[nickcarraway]

Wisconsinite Christina Ferguson was arrested this week for accidentally smearing peanut butter on the windshields of 30 cars parked outside a meeting of a local environmental group. She thought the cars belonged to Donald Trump supporters.

Ferguson first made her presence known by walking into the meeting and yelling about Trump while holding a “family-size jar of low-sodium, creamy natural Jif,” according to the police report. After she was booted from the building, Ferguson went to the parking lot to do her damage. The police were called, and Ferguson denied everything, but she was eventually outed by the peanut butter on her hands, which she continually licked while speaking to police.

An ardent Hillary Clinton supporter, Ferguson explained her attack with remarkable clarity, especially given the .218 she blew on a Breathalyzer: “Peanut buttering is better than firebombing,” she said, according to the police report. “And Trump plans on firebombing everybody in other countries.”

[PLMerite]

“all aglow with mental illness”

That must explain why I’m attracted to the crazy ones...

[windsorknot]

A “foretaste” of a Hillary victory.

[Nifster]

Can’t fix stupid

[sauropod]

That’s a hard looking 32 year old.

[fhayek]

Well, the ‘accident’ was that she thought that they were Trump supporters. They were really environmental wackos. Had they really been Trump supporters, well, no harm, no foul.

[SandRat]

...plain or peantty?

[ponygirl]

Looks like a real nutter butter.

[ETL]

Are they sure it was "peanut butter"?

[delete306]

A bunch of hippie environmentalists. She should get a medal.

[M Kehoe]

If you (not you) can’t say anything good about how someone looks, then you don’t say anything at all.

..........

5.56mm

[ameribbean expat]

I’d give her a reduced sentence if she spread GMO peanut butter on environmentalists cars.

[M Kehoe]

But I will say, “bless her little heart.”

5.56mm

[Peter ODonnell]

I think the numbers on the right are IQ and the numbers on the left are percentage of IQ available for immediate use.

[null and void]

did she smear Jiff, Peter Pan, or Skippy?

family-size jar of low-sodium, creamy natural Jiff

[Califreak]

For choosy Trump haters.

[I want the USA back]

Wait a minute. There’s a contradiction.
“She Mistakenly Thought Belonged to His Supporters”

and

“accidentally “

Can’t have it both ways.

[So Cal Rocket]

if those numbers to the right are inches, not only is she...mmmm...Amy Carterish but big boned as well. Oh, and about as intelligent as Amy Carter to boot.

I think it's an IQ scale.

[Covenantor]

I think it's an IQ scale.

Huh... figures that metric/common core IQ scale on the left would have higher numbers.

[Robert DeLong]

Not only intelligent but a looker as well. /heavy sarcasm

[Clay Moore]

Hold my beer and watch this! NAPL