How to Write a Winning Resume for the Job of President of the United States

The Free Republic ^ | 2/16/2016 | PoconPundit

[poconopundit]

Dear Prospective Presidential Candidate:

The information in this letter was prepared to help you develop a winning resume for the Office of President of the United States (POTUS).

A resume is now required for every candidate running for the POTUS position.

Reason Why this Resume is Required

Regretfully this new law requiring a formal resume was made necessary due to problems in past elections.

For instance, in recent years the voters of these United States have found that candidates for this highly important office have lacked the background and experience to do the job effectively.

Candidates have made various claims in speeches and to the media, but once elected, they arrived in Washington and could not actually accomplish the job they were hired to do.

In other cases, the candidates for POTUS have actually tried to subvert the wishes of We the People and follow "their own agenda".

So to save time and prevent future fraud and voter mistakes, We the People have decided that candidates must now submit a formal resume for the position of POTUS.

This standard format is one that every POTUS candidate shall use, no matter what party they belong to.

We hope these resumes will save voters time figuring out exactly who is best qualified for the position of POTUS, and it will allow us to more easily compare one candidate to another.

Policy Statements

Candidates may list any policy or position statements they want on their resumes.  However, once they submit the resume, they cannot edit out their previous position statements.

Candidates may change their position any number of times, but previous positions will remain in the document so We the People have a record of changes and any flip flops that may have occurred.

However, we fully recognize that policy positions are a merely a statement of general policy direction because things often change in office.

For instance, we have found that positions will typically change depending on how much of a "puppet" a POTUS candidate is due to financial support from a Wall Street firm, foreign government, or Washington lobbyist.

Personal Dreams and Reasons for Seeking Office

Be careful in your resume to not include anything about your personal "dreams". In the past, candidates have told us they were running for POTUS "to dominate the world" or "to see foreign dignitaries bowing before them" or "to stay out of jail" or "to pardon fellow criminal accomplices".

If your resume contains such reasons, we shall immediately reject it.

In addition, We the People shall also reject all resumes where the reason for running for POTUS is to be the first person elected of a particular gender, physical/mental handicap, sexual orientation, religion, race, ethnic group, bowling club, or Hollywood celebrity fan club.

Executive Accomplishments

It is very important to include executive accomplishments on this resume because leading the largest economy and military in the Free World is a management position requiring extensive experience running a large organization.

Follow these steps in developing your executive accomplishment statements:

• Start with an action world, i.e. Managed, Completed, Improved, etc.
  
  
• Tell us what you actually did yourself -- being brief and to the point.
  
  
• Explain the scale of your authority so we don't confuse being captain of a high school debating team with running a $10 billion business or being Governor of a State with 20 million people.
  
  
• In the close of each statement show the result of the action(s) you took. The result is a measurable outcome that shows how you made a difference.

Use this accomplishment statement as an example:

Action: Built a 51 floor skyscraper luxury apartment building in New York City by negotiating and financing the deal and being responsible for the work and salaries of the 2,000 people and numerous contractors over a one year building period.

Result: The skyscraper is a commercial success earning $500 million in profits each year.

Not a Judicial, Legal or Legislative Position

Please note: the job of POTUS is a senior management and executive position.  Having experience as an individual contributor such as lawyer, senator, judge, or similar position is not directly relevant because the job of POTUS requires senior management experience and responsibility at a very high level.

However, you may list your judicial, legal or legislative posts under a separate resume section entitled: Other Job Experience.

Conclusion

Thank you for following these resume instructions.  We hope that following our rules will not be too onerous a burden.

Remember, that We the People have our own responsibilities and jobs to do and we want you, as Candidate, to respect us by laying out the facts so we can more easily find out who is truly qualified and vote for the best person.

Please leave out any extra curricula activities and sports such as duck hunting, beauty pageants, golf, partying, and the like.

Good luck.

[poconopundit]

A vanity story for your bedtime reading.

[equaviator]

To hell with HR.

[DoughtyOne]

[Jane Long]

Perfect!! Love it!

Sharing this.

Thanks for posting :)

ONLY qualified candidate is TRUMP!!

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

Candidates have made various claims in speeches and to the media, but once elected, they arrived in Washington and could not actually accomplish the job they were hired to do.

You are talking about Congress right?

Because if you are talking about Obama he has done exactly what he said he would do.

The fact that what he said he would do would hurt the country was something people should have figured out.

[clearcarbon]

"How to Write a Winning Resume for the Job of President of the United States"

[poconopundit]

Good addition, Teddy Bear.  I can think of a couple things Obama told us he would do: "unite the country" and that his candidacy would not be "politics as usual".

There may be a few other things, but on the whole you are correct, I think.

[poconopundit]

LOL! Good one.

[V K Lee]

This sounds more than reasonable.
And even more so, considering this was received this evening by email.

THE KING AND THE WEATHER RORECASTER

Once upon a time, there was a king, who wanted to go fishing.
He called the royal weather forecaster and inquired, as to the weather forecast for the next few hours.
The weatherman assured him that there was no chance of rain in the
coming days. So the king went fishing with his wife, the queen.
On the way he met a farmer on his donkey.
Upon seeing the king the farmer said, “Your Majesty, you should return to the palace at once,
Because in just a short time I expect a huge amount of rain to fall in this area”.

The king was polite and considerate, he replied:
“I hold the palace meteorologist in high regard.
He is an extensively educated and experienced professional. Besides, I pay him very high wages.
He gave me a very different forecast. I trust him and I will continue on my way.” So he continued on his way.

However, a short time later a torrential rain fell from the sky.
The King and Queen were totally soaked ... and their entourage chuckled upon seeing them in such a shameful condition.
Furious, the king returned to the palace and gave the order to fire the weatherman at once!
Then he summoned the farmer and offered him the prestigious and high paying role of royal forecaster.

The farmer said, “Your Majesty, I do not know anything about forecasting. I obtain my information from my donkey.
If I see my donkey’s ears drooping, it means with certainty that it will rain.”

So the king hired the donkey.

And so began the practice of hiring asses to work in the government, and occupy its highest and most influential positions ...

Which later became the symbol for the Democratic party.

Thus ends your knowledge lesson for today.

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

The first "unite the country" you are correct that he didn't manage to do that but his time in office has certainly not been politics as usual.

I remember when politicians used to STAY bought.

[poconopundit]

I love it!  It's like a little Hansel and Gretel tale.

It also reminds me a bit of the movie Shrek for some reason. I think the voice of the donkey was Eddie Murphy.

[V K Lee]

LOL never saw that movie but do remember Murphy as the character. Seriously, before logging onto FR had just read this email, and was about to post the vanity. After reading your post, reconsidered and wa-la. The never ending fairy tale. The brothers Grimm. Thanks, I had to smile. :-))

[poconopundit]

Glad you like it, Jane.  Thanks.

[poconopundit]

Pleased you chose to include this Grimm talk on this post.  I think in general, there needs to be more off-beat stuff like this.

I joined FR in October so I have no reference point before that.  Now when there's no presidential election going on, I imagine the volume of activity on FR goes down.  Is that true?

Curious.

[V K Lee]

Believe it to be true. I joined in 2013 after 3 years of lurking. Found the traffic to subside when there was no election or any juicy scandals going forth. However, the nomination process is so long these days, that changes everything. Every four years we sit thru months of election propaganda for days on end. If not for interesting current events, or specific interests discussed, there would be little to discuss in the off-years. I like quirky and off beat :-))

[Organic Panic]

Dear Illegal Aliens, Welfare Recipients, Uneducated Idiots, Educated Idiots, and Minorities.

I want to be your president. You’re all idiots and incapable of doing anything for yourself. Vote for me and I’ll give you free stuff. The rich took it from you anyway.

- The Democrat Platform.

[octex]

That is great! First time I’ve seen that.