Posted on 12/19/2015 3:46:52 PM PST by Kaslin
Should parents "discipline" their children rather than "punish" them? And is this distinction especially important for Christian parents?
Yes and yes.
Far from synonymous, these associated words carry vastly different meanings. As Mark Twain famously said, "The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter 'tis the difference between the lightning-bug and the lightning."
In the case of discipline and punishment, 'tis the difference between light and lightning.
Big Difference
To discipline one's children is to rebuke, correct, and train them because you love them too much to let them grow into harmful, hateful, ungrateful people. Discipline proceeds from love and mercy.
To punish one's children is to retaliate in a (usually flawed) attempt to exact retribution by imposing pain, shame, or another penalty. Punishment proceeds from wrath and justice.
What's wrong with justice? Not a thing, in proper context, and when its ministers are just. As fallen beings, though, we tend to distort truths and ideals as we imperfectly apply them, leaving catastrophe in our wake.
Context Is King
In the context of societal laws, politics, and defense, administering justice protects the masses. The very possibility of living under just rulers is a gift from God, who (according to Genesis 6-9 and Romans 13) established human government to administer justice in response to increasing human violence on the earth.
In the context of divine judgment, justice is either awesome or terrible, and maybe both, depending on where you stand.
For continuity, take the God of the Bible. At a time he has appointed, God (who is inherently just) will fully dispense his wrath (i.e., justice) on those who fall short of holiness sinners. This category comprises every human, "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God," and "the wages of sin is death" (Romans 3:23, 6:23). God will make (and has made) special exception for those whose punishment God diverted to his Son, the Christ (i.e., Messiah), who took on human flesh nearly 2,000 years ago in order to qualify as man's substitute, and bore man's punishment (i.e., God's justice) by being crucified. Afterward Christ rose from the dead and appeared to many, proving his sacrifice effective (for "if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile and you are still in your sins," 1 Corinthians 15:17). A just God will not double-punish. Those who follow Christ will receive (and have received) God's mercy, Christ having absorbed God's justice for them. Those who do not follow Christ will receive God's justice.
Why We Don't Punish
Parents (especially Christian ones) who punish their children i.e., impose shame or pain to try to close the justice gap only widen it, for three reasons.
First, and particularly applicable to Christians: if God does not double-punish, neither should we. Christ was crucified so that our kids don't have to be. (You either.)
Second, as fallen beings, we parents often have a skewed view of justice, frequently calling on God or someone else to rain down justice on others while irrationally exempting ourselves.
Third, outside of a legal system, justice is ours to keep but not to dispense not to our children, and not to others. This is why parents go to the police and courts when someone harms their kids, rather than go vigilante. (Would it be just to imprison, torture, and kill your daughter's rapist? Ultimately, yes. Is it your place to do these things? No. Is it the government's? Partially. Will they all eventually happen? Yes, and eternally, per God's justice unless that depraved person becomes a follower of Christ, in which case Christ has already borne God's justice for him.
No two kids are the same.
Discipline implies a teaching moment.
Punishment comes when a teaching moment is openly rebelled against.
;^)
So you STILL misbehaved; just on the sly!
Oh to have the USA this way!
I believe she’s got it!
Who knows; but there ARE teachable moments going to be coming their direction.
Exactly.
I tried wooden spoons but they kept breaking because of their thin handles. Eventually, I discovered that those rubber cake spatulas are perfect: they don't break, they make "quite an impression," and they produce a satisfying "slap!"
Rebellion against and defiance of the parent's authority is the deal-breaker, necessitating punishment.
As God made crystal-clear:
And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons: "My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son."Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
Hebrews 12:5-11
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Are you still killing your unborn? -- GOD |
It is always thus. Of course, the tremendous judgments coming (not far off anymore) in the Great Tribulation have a merciful and loving goal: provoking the last few, before the end comes, who will finally repent and believe.
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