The author is going to be the laughing stock of his peer group.
Man up dude!
Familiar to all: “Never bring a knife to a gun fight”.
Corollary: Never bring The Modern Man to a gun fight. Or a knife fight. Or for that matter any fight.
The "modern" man is a selfish coward that refuses to protect his family because of idiotic political correctness. He would rather have his family unprotected than to gain disapproval from a stranger.
Half of it sounds like satire!
Notice, though all feminazi tropes must be obeyed, he still has to deal with the intruder coming to kill the wife.
If this is modern man, ISIS has already won.
Add an extra number to the list
28: Modern man cries his eyes out and pi*ses his pants as Ahmed cuts his head off.
These are tips on how to be a beta male, man boob.
FROM: On the Town SUNG BY: Ann Miller (Claire Hudson)
Modern man is not for me, The movie star or daffer dan, Give me the healthy glow from ages ago, A prehistoric man,
What has Gable got for me? Or Mrs Johnson's blond boy band? I want a happy ape with no English trape, A prehistoric man.
Top hats, bow ties, He simply wore no ties, Bare skin, bare skin, He just sat around in nothing but bare skin, I really love bare skin.
Some guys care a lot for me, But my excitement they can't ban, Because I still await my primitive mate, We've had a date since the world began, My prehistoric man.
Don't like no analysis, He never knew what made him tick, He never paid, it seems, foretelling his dreams For prehistoric Dick.
Jitter, jitter, He never had jitter, No repression, He just believed in free self expression, I love self expression.
He had honest calices, He never worked to pile up dough, Someone like you and me, no ulcers had he, Simple and free, It's a long ago, For prehistoric dough.
Be bop, be bop, They didn't have be bop, Tom toms, tom toms, They sat all day just a beatin' on tom toms, I really love tom toms.
5.56mm
However, these bits of trivia and the others listed in the article aren't what makes a real man "real".
1. Real men have integrity. They are *always* as good as their word.
2. Real men don't shun responsibility. While others are primping and posing, he's the one in the back of the room who quietly says, "I'll take care of that.", then does it.
3. Real men do shun the spotlight. The middle of the dancefloor, showing off all your best moves by yourself, is for buffoons. Better to be dancing with your wife.
4. Owning a gun does not make you a real man. It's accepting the responsibility, and potential consequences, of ownership that does. See rule #2.
5. Real men are not afraid to use the most effective means necessary to keep their family safe. See rule #2 and #4.
6. Real men listen to their kids, respectfully, and note when they're right, and when they're wrong. That's how kids learn respect and integrity, see rule #1. Real men are not, however, their children's best friends. Friendship might come later in life, or not, but they will always be parents.
I suppose that's enough, not worth addressing each point in the article.
Modern NYT reader, maybe.
It has nothing to do with manhood.
1. When the modern man buys shoes for his spouse, he doesnt have to ask her sister for the size. And he knows which brands run big or small.
I'll buy my own shoes. Since when do women want MEN picking out shoes for them? Seriously? Most men's concept of shoes is "do you really need more than one pair of black?"
8. The modern man uses the proper names for things. For example, hell say helicopter, not chopper like some gauche simpleton.
This is just dumb. Every profession has nomenclature. The successful modern man knows the nomenclature of his profession and the inside jokes associated with it.
9. Having a daughter makes the modern man more of a complete person. He learns new stuff every day.
Is this some kind of a slam against men who want to bond with their sons? And I say this as a mom to two daughters.
10. The modern man makes sure the dishes on the rack have dried completely before putting them away.
The "modern man" has been completely pussy whipped by the militant feminist in his life into doing the housework to her specifications, instead of her being grateful he's doing half.
12. The modern man checks the status of his Irish Spring bar before jumping in for a wash. Too small, it gets swapped out.
See #11 above.
13. The modern man listens to Wu-Tang at least once a week.
Huh??
16. The modern man lies on the side of the bed closer to the door. If an intruder gets in, he will try to fight him off, so that his wife has a chance to get away.
Hubby is yelling "get down and cover me" while firing the shotgun at the intruder. Oh, and Hubby has made the house as secure as possible so intruders have minimal chance of getting into the bedroom to begin with.
20. On occasion, the modern man is the little spoon. Some nights, when he is feeling down or vulnerable, he needs an emotional and physical shield.
This happens right up until he passes gas, then all bets are off, and he's gonna need a different kind of emotional and physical shield. Just saying.
25. The modern man has no use for a gun. He doesnt own one, and he never will.
Oh please. Hubby had to get a CCW so he could be around my purse.
26. The modern man cries. He cries often.
He gets a tear occasionally, like when his uncle told him about his experiences during WWII, during great renditions of the National Anthem, and he cried when his mom passed away. but I've never seen him bawl like a baby.
27. People arent sure if the modern man is a good dancer or not. That is, until the D.J. plays his jam and he goes out there and puts on a clinic.
Hubby is a great dancer and a great lead, but real dancing with actual steps, not throwing oneself around like you're having a seizure.
That is why the modern man will be extinct in short order
For you to laugh at later.
My machine shop apron should to the trick.
This sounds like a Liberal, just begging to be ruled by a tyrant.
I take it that the “indigenous pipples” are exempt from the obligation of modernity.
I agree with a couple of these. I don’t bother to park close unless the wife and kiddo are in the truck with me, or I know I will have a lot of stuff to load. I also support buying two shoehorns, one short one for your good Johnson Murphy business shoes, and a long one for your exotic cowboy boots so you won’t ruin the heel cups. The rest of that list is utter crap.
The modern man has no use for a gun?!?
Then how is he gonna fight the intruder that came in a few minutes before.
The author is not describing a man. He’s describing Matt Damon.
If they’re being taught everything by feminists.
I’m glad I’m not one of these so-called “modern men.” I eat meat, I drink beer, and I listen to heavy metal.
I thought this line of thinking was "sexist." Hasn't the left, for years, been trying to diminish the man's role as a protector? Of course, in my household, the wife would have your bullet riddled corpse laid out on the floor before I ever woke up. Don't mess with Mrs. Cowhand.
Oh well, I agree with “the Modern Man” about guns. I don’t own one and never will.
At least until I sell the other 43.