Posted on 05/25/2015 10:05:12 AM PDT by Kaslin
I have no desire to pile on with more comments about Josh Duggar, who appears to be a very serious and committed Christian who has made no excuses for the sins of his youth and who deeply desires to make a positive impact for the Lord in the years ahead. I simply want to share some redemptive thoughts, supplementing some of the excellent statements made by others, including former governor Mike Huckabee and Southern Baptist leader Russell Moore.
1. Jesus really does change people. While critics of the Duggar family want to indict them (along with other, evangelical Christians, especially those with large families) for Josh’s actions, and while many seem ready to throw Josh under the bus, the fact is that while he did sin grievously, through repentance, faith and counseling, he became a new man. Jesus really does transform sinners.
How many of us did wicked things as teenagers? I was shooting heroin at the age of 15 and broke into some houses and even stole money from my own father before being radically converted at the age of 16. I was profane, filled with pride, anger, and lust, yet the Lord had mercy on me and totally turned my life around.
Some of us continued to live like this into our adult years, only to find mercy and new life then, meaning that the transformation was even more dramatic.
For me, the first lesson from this story is this: Whoever you, whatever you’ve done, there is hope in the Lord. As Mike Huckabee said, “‘inexcusable’ . . . doesn’t mean ‘unforgivable.’”
As Paul wrote to the Corinthians, “Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God” (1 Corinthians 6:9-11).
2. There’s no excuse for sin, so own up to it. In today’s culture, almost no one is guilty of anything. It’s someone else’s fault, someone else’s responsibility, not our own. We’re all victims, and the reason we do bad things is because someone else wronged us. Isn’t that how we think today?
I’ve even heard athletes apologize for some really heinous actions by saying, “I’m not happy with the way things happened,” rather than saying, “What I did was wrong and I have no excuses. Please forgive me. I’m seeking to get to the root of my problems and address them.”
What a vast difference between the two attitudes.
As Proverbs states, “Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy” (Proverbs 28:13).
According to the accounts we’ve all heard, Josh confessed his sin to his parents as well as to the proper authorities, and as a family, they worked through the issues. Now, half a lifetime later (he’s 27 and is married with four children), when confronted with a police report about his past, he did not minimize his sin nor did he excuse it. He also resigned from the fine Christian organization for whom he worked, not wanting to bring any negative attention to their work.
When I see someone respond like this, I am filled with hope. In fact, over the years, I’ve seen that people who committed uglier sins but took full responsibility and repented did far better than those who committed less serious sins and tried to sweep them under the rug.
3. Even godly families have kids who mess up badly. Nancy and I only had two kids, and we sought to be godly parents and set godly examples. Yet our older daughter went through a real period of rebellion in her teen years.
As parents, we felt miserable, and I would wonder what I was doing wrong.
Of course, we dealt with her rebellion head on and prayed like crazy for her to really encounter the Lord, but while it was happening, it was terribly deflating spiritually. What kind of father am I? How can I be so ineffective?
Today, we all laugh about those years, and our daughter, who is now 37 and is a devoted wife and mother, is so grateful for the way she was raised. (She and Nancy are the best of friends and are in constant contact.)
The fact that the Duggars, who successfully raised 19 children in the Lord (who can imagine that?), had to deal with one of their kids committing serious sexual sin at 14 should actually encourage other parents rather than discourage them. And perhaps, they can teach us today how this tragic incident helped them come together as a family and draw closer to the Lord.
4. Josh can be an ambassador on behalf of the abused, even helping the abusers as well. While it can feel like your life is over when your past, largely private sins become public (how many of us would like for that to happen?), the fact is that Josh’s future can be bright in the Lord.
He can call on others who are sinning to come clean and get help, using his own example redemptively. And he can encourage those who have been abused to realize that they are not guilty and should not feel shame, also encouraging churches to embrace those who come for help rather than making them feel as if there is something wrong with them.
Why should those who have suffered abuse be stigmatized? They should be our priority for healing and restoration.
5. We need to be careful how we judge. There are many fans of the Duggars who are upset with what they feel is a witch hunt against a godly family, representing one more attempt to remove them from reality TV. (Let me say without qualification that there is life after reality TV, and if the Duggars never do another broadcast, their lives can still be overwhelmingly blessed.)
But would we have had this same attitude of mercy and forgiveness if this was the child of a gay couple? Would we have said, “This proves that gay parents are no good!”?
I certainly believe that kids deserve a mom and a dad and that, optimally, they will do best with a mom and dad, but I don’t indict all gay couples because of the failings of one of their kids
So, if you want to show mercy, be consistent. We can all fall into the trap of selective compassion.
6. There are consequences to our actions, but with God, our worst mistakes can become stepping stones to spiritual growth.
Most of us have done things we wish we could take back, and in some cases, the consequences of our bad choices and sinful actions last for decades. Yet with the Lord, no matter how great the stigma of our sin, if we will humble ourselves before Him, He can take those stumbling blocks and turn them into stepping stones, to the point that the worst things that ever happened to us become the best things that ever happened to us.
To the core of His being, God is a redeemer, and I’m personally praying and believing that for Josh Duggar and his entire family, God will turn this painful situation around for greater good.
Let’s watch and see.
Public schools in some states have a demonstrator, demonstrate the proper method to apply a condom to 15 year old. Welcome to the clintonization of America. And thank you, you old wolf in sheep clothing Rev. Billy Graham and alllllll those that bow at his calling.
Option “E”. It’s the only way.
Brenda Jenner, Boy Scouts, Ireland.
Do I have to start rooting for Muslims to stop these freak shows?
Were sisters among his victims? If so, super creepy.
I don’t want to know.
Yep. Three younger sisters and a cousin. Sorry.
Talk about reinforcing stereotypes of people from Arkansas....
Ugh.
ICK!
My DIL and I were discussing this exact same thing: What would you do?
Honestly, I would have sent him away for treatment (Christian treatment). I not sure I would have it in me to contact LE. I would have also made sure he was ALWAYS in counseling. Same for his victims. There are no easy answers when it’s YOUR children.
I think Josh’s parents did the best they could given the situation. I don’t condemn them. I feel more sad for them than anything. I can’t imagine the horror they have been through. I have watched the show and they raise strong, self sufficient children. They are also a forgiving family. For people to say they came across as the perfect family, they obviously have never watched the show. The parents have always talked about their past and what they would have done differently. They are the family that liberals love to hate. That alone should tell us something. This coming out about Josh just added fuel to their fire. All families have issues. Some kids have more troubles than others. Many of us have been there, done that. One reason I never have proclaimed “My kids will NEVER.......” Oh yes they will. It’s a crap shoot no matter how many kids. You pray continuously they will turn out halfway decent esp during the teen years. Unfortunately, chit happens. You don’t love them any less, in fact you love them more.
As far as sending him off to a grandparent: would YOU put that burden or YOUR parents? I honestly don’t know. There are no easy answers in this case.
So: What WOULD you do?
I agree with your post.
Based on the police report, his behavior was very disturbing. It wasn't rape, and it wasn't incest. But it was heading in that direction. So... what to do? He was 14 (or maybe had just turned 15 by the time of the last incident - very alarming).
IF the rehab center was the type of place that I've read that it was, then it was pretty much a detention center run by a Christian ministry. IF that's the type of place where he was sent, then IMHO the parents made a sound decision. It's difficult to say for sure, but I think I probably would've left him there.
They did something different - they brought him home after four months, which is probably around the same amount of prison time he would've served, if found guilty. Then they brought him to a state trooper, and since then he has repeatedly been made to tell people what he did. I won't criticize the parents' decision because maybe he truly reformed. Fourteen is a dangerous age, but maybe not too late to set someone on the right path. I'd always wonder, though...
FTR, however, I do not agree with the parents' putting their family on TV.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.