Posted on 01/15/2015 6:33:13 AM PST by HammerT
A reporter candidly questioned the wisdom of allowing children access to cans, listing the ways it could go wrong:
• Children could use the cans on each other, in rapid succession, as assault-can play weapons;
• An intruder might get extra angry at can throwers, who would be like canaries in a coalmine;
• The intruder might hurl the cans back at the children, cancelling this brilliant progressive idea.
The administrator erupted volcanically, “Yeah, cans kill people, and spoons make people fat! The original use of canned food is to nourish, not to kill people (just like spoons.) Therefore, cans are an acceptable progressive weapon. Other weapons can't hold a candle to canned goods. Amer-I-Can. Yes, we can!”
After this incantation, the school district decided to canonize the administrator as a forward thinker, well ahead of her time.
This idea has taken off like a cannonball in the progressive community. In fact, the Democrats are jealous that they don't have the word “can” in their name like a certain political foe. The Republican party of racist chicanery seem to catch all the breaks, don't they? It's just not fair.
We know that the real reason to promote can weapons is to make children think they don't need to rely on adults with guns to protect them, which is a great idea. Guns are a cancer on our society. Removing them should be like taking candy from a baby.
However, it seems inhumane to hurl hard, metal cans at a human being, who could sustain cuts and bruises during his attack of the school. We have to think of the criminal's feelings and not cannibalize his human rights.
(Excerpt) Read more at thepeoplescube.com ...
“Random, run of the mill S.O.B., Mr.Naven R Johnson......Die!”
Or issue each kid a can shaped holster.
Open ‘canning’ anyone?
fasten a pencil on the back and you have a mini bat’leth!
:)
Pool balls will do in a pinch.....
The incredible doofy irony here is that their assertion that cans are a weapon for kids to use just made it against thousands of schools’ policies across the country to have cans of food on campus (zero-tolerance).
Repeat.
Well, after all they know better because they know better.
And the reason they know better is that they know better, since they know who knows better and it’s them that knows better and they know better than anyone.
And who else would know better than those that know better which would be them because they know better.
.. stop the circular logic! I need to get off!
I don’t see the appeal of that?
That will be part of their ‘health’ program - get the little kiddies in the Obamayouth and have them train 10 hours a day lifting those cans.
The best thing to do is laugh at those people - they can’t stand that... much like the radical Muslims..
When cans are outlawed, only outlaws will have cans...
When cans are outlawed, only outlaw kids will have cans...
In the future, all pitchers will only throw strikes and all batters will hit every pitch.
Next up: a Can Ban
[Or any other object that can be used as a weapon]
Yeah, just what you want to do to a potential mentally deranged individual with a firearm in a school room, send him further off the edge. Whoever thought of this lame brained idea should be hung.
Oh yes cans can be dangerous and then if they have access to a “can opener”! They will then have the round can lids that are sharp as a knife all the say around! YIKES!!!!!! s/>s
“I love my Campbell’s, soup is good ammo!”
We'll need to introducd steroids into the lunch dietary receommendations from the fed (From Michelle). You need to think outside the box (or can).
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.