Your porn is not Canadian enough, CRTC warns erotica channels

National Post ^ | March 5, 2014 | Tristin Hopper

[Loyalist]

For failing to broadcast sufficient levels of Canadian-made pornography — and failing to close-caption said pornography properly — a trio of Toronto-based erotica channels has earned a reprimand from the Canadian Radio-television & Telecommunications Commission.

Wednesday, the CRTC issued a broadcast notice saying AOV Adult Movie Channel, XXX Action Clips and the gay-oriented Maleflixxx were all failing to reach the required 35% threshold for Canadian content.

Based on a 24-hour broadcast schedule, that translates to about 8.5 hours of Canadian erotica a day.

The notice was issued as a result of Channel Zero’s efforts to renew licences for all three erotica channels. The regulator will review the “instances of apparent non-compliance” at an April 28 hearing in Gatineau, Que.

[Loyalist]

Not enough Canadian content? Aren't they already showing plenty of beaver?

What the hell do they need close captions for if there isn't any real dialogue?

[driftdiver]

Well porn just isn’t porn when the models are wearing parkas.

[AU72]

Could find a way to use some maple syrup.

[Boogieman]

All porn dialogue up there must be bilingual, or the French Canadians will riot.

[Pearls Before Swine]

That’s hilarious! Porn restrictions based on “local content”, like cars.

[Gay State Conservative]

What’s this all aboot? Do it to me again,big boy...eh!

[Gay State Conservative]

Ping

[Texas Eagle]

Maleflixxx were all failing to reach the required 35% threshold for Canadian content.

Now that's just gross.

[RightGeek]

Too bad they don't require sign language!

[Texas Eagle]

...the gay-oriented Maleflixxx were all failing to reach the required 35% threshold for Canadian content.

I say pull the plug. That's what I say.

[Buckeye McFrog]

Debbie Does Saskatoon.

With a soundtrack provided by Rush, Three Dog Night and Anne Murray.

[faithhopecharity]

“Yesyesdoitharderharder,eh!!!” Canadian content added.

[PGR88]

Instead of a pizza-delivery man, the guy will have poutine.

[Tijeras_Slim]

You forgot Terry Jacks.... ;)

[Izzy Dunne]

Soooooo...

[ ] A... there's a government porn inspector, whose job is to monitor the stuff every day, with a stop watch, and count the hours of 'native' and 'non-native' porn, or

[ ] B... Somebody complained to the government: "Hey - this stuff isn't Canadian enough, eh?"

Which one do you think ?

[reg45]

and perhaps some polar bears, hockey, and curling.

[Gaffer]

Maybe they aren’t swigging Molson or saying “eh, hoser” enough between ‘takes’.

[12th_Monkey]

Stereotypical lines form Canadian porn:

Oh back bacon me! A

knit my cap! A

slap shot your puck into my net! A

Single payer all over me! A

[yefragetuwrabrumuy]

"Oohkay, then. Now you two hosers kiss!"

[N. Theknow]

And in Quebec....Le Moan, Le Gasp, Le Groan, Le Scream.