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5 Ways Disavowing Masculinity Changed My Life
http://goodmenproject.com/the-good-life/5-ways-disavowing-masculinity-changed-my-life/ ^ | 12/2/13 | Robert Reece

Posted on 01/19/2014 10:01:51 AM PST by dead

Robert Reece has found that ignoring the Man Code has improved his life enormously.

Not only does traditional masculinity oppress women but it also severely restricts the agency of men (a topic, I’ve written about in the past in the context of straight man love and hip-hop), often in simple, taken-for-granted ways. Straight men go to extreme lengths to perform masculinity. They avoid a wide variety of activities that they arbitrarily deem feminine or “gay” without analyzing the detrimental effects of this type of gender policing. Often mundane, seemingly inconsequential activities are heavily policed, inhibiting men’s ability to live freely day-to-day. While it’s also important to show men the macro level benefits of feminism and disavowing traditional masculinity, I thought it would be fun to reveal the little ways that my life changed when I stopped trying to perform traditional, patriarchal masculinity. So here it is: the 5 MOST Mundane Ways Disavowing Masculinity Changed My Life.

5) I Admit When I’m Sad

Sadness is weak; it’s feminine. Men rarely admit when they’re sad or depressed because men are supposed to be strong and unemotional. Deciding not to avoid traditional masculinity allows me to admit when I’m sad and seek support and help. I’m not left to deal with my problems alone. I also recognize the healing properties of crying so I even cry occasionally (and not just about sports or death).

4) I Can Touch Other Men

The ways straight men are allowed to touch other men are very limited, often only to handshakes, man-hugs (which are already restrained), and violent expressions (eg. sports, wrestling, etc). Inadvertently touching another man is strictly forbidden so measures must be taken to avoid this: men must be careful when handing a man something lest their hands touch, skip a seat in the movie theater to avoid touching knees, and scrunch up in the back seat of a car so they don’t accidentally rub against one another. It’s all so unnecessarily stressful and homophobic, and I’d rather avoid the whole performance. If we happen to touch, so be it.

3) I Wear Women’s Clothing Accessories

Men’s fashion can be narrow, especially when on a budget, and as someone who enjoys fashion, I’ve found that one way to push the boundaries of color and patterns is to shop in the women’s section for accessories. Women’s scarves and pins are infinitely more diverse than men’s which often only come in black, greys, browns, and dark blues. To find an orange or blue that pops or a nice green and black pattern, the women’s section is the place to be. Unfortunately, my feet are too big to wear women’s shoes because I could certainly go for some inexpensive colorful loafers as well.

2) I Can Admit Another Man Is Attractive

I can’t count the times I’ve heard a man defiantly declare “All men are ugly to me!” in response to being asked whether he thought another man was attractive. Liar. Apparently, straight men think that finding another man attractive is akin to a desire to have sex with him, i.e. admitting that a man looks nice is gay. But we all find a wide variety of people (of any sex or gender) to be attractive and sometimes we seek to express it so I’ve noticed men use an assortment of semantic moves to maintain their masculine performance while complimenting the looks of another man: 1) they’ll compliment his clothes and focus on his clothes, carefully avoiding his general attractiveness, e.g. “I like that suit” as opposed to “You look nice tonight;” 2) they’ll give a backhanded compliment, e.g. “So you think you clean today, huh?” or pair a compliment with a feigned insult such as, “I like that suit, but you’re still ugly;” 3) they simply preface or conclude their compliment with a reminder that they are straight, e.g. “I don’t wanna f#ck him or nothing but Johnny Depp looks good in Pirates of the Caribbean” or the infamous and endlessly homophobic “No homo.” I lack the time for this. If I think I’m an attractive man and expect to be told so, I see no reason to deny other men a similar compliment.

1) I Sit Down to Pee

Honestly, I suspect that many more do this than will admit it. Perhaps since it can be done privately, actually performing the act isn’t as important as admitting it, which few men do. But outside of public restrooms and urgent situations, I’ve never seen the allure of standing to pee. The appeal of it seems to be primarily based on its association with masculinity, but I’d much rather sit. Sitting is more comfortable and much neater, no risk of peeing on the seat or floor or dropping something in the toilet.

♦◊♦

Discarding these seemingly small things also create healthier men who aren’t as stressed by the daily minutia of masculine performance. And though I call these things mundane, they are part of the gendering process that maintains our system of patriarchal stratification, and adopting these simple acts of subversion can go a long way towards dismantling the notion of “real manhood” and with it the idea that men should dominate women.


TOPICS: Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: academicbias; communistgoals; crossdresser; feminazism; feminism; goodlife; goodmen; goodmensproject; heterophobia; homosexualagenda; identitypolitics; juthtthtop; lavendermafia; liberalelites; liberalmedia; maninaskirt; metrosexuals; napl; pinkjournalism; radicalfeminists; reeducationcenters; robertreece; savethemales; sexpositiveagenda; sitzpinkler; socialistnetworks; thilly; trends
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Somebody posted this on Facebook. I had to share in case any guys are feeling too manly and need to chick it up a bit.
1 posted on 01/19/2014 10:01:52 AM PST by dead
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To: dead

That “person” needs to Man Up.


2 posted on 01/19/2014 10:04:06 AM PST by Paladin2
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To: dead

3 posted on 01/19/2014 10:04:16 AM PST by dead (I've got my eye out for Mullah Omar.)
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To: dead

Excuse me while I puke.


4 posted on 01/19/2014 10:05:04 AM PST by ReaganÜberAlles
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To: dead

Actually,(looks around to ensure nobody is looking) I sit down to pee as I’m the guy who cleans the d*mned bathroom. It’s just that there are two streams and only one of them is going into the bowl. (Hides head in shame. Runs hand over concealed carry piece. Calls hunting buddy and arranges to go kill something.)


5 posted on 01/19/2014 10:06:07 AM PST by Gen.Blather
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To: dead

“I’m a man, but I can change, if I have to, I guess.” the Man’s Prayer


6 posted on 01/19/2014 10:06:40 AM PST by DManA
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To: dead

This idiot needs to get lost.


7 posted on 01/19/2014 10:06:53 AM PST by onyx (Please Support Free Republic - Donate Monthly! If you want on Sarah Palin's Ping List, Let Me know!)
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To: dead

I know what this guy uses for a coin purse.


8 posted on 01/19/2014 10:06:59 AM PST by Organic Panic
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To: dead

Pathetic at best.. transgender in the making.


9 posted on 01/19/2014 10:07:01 AM PST by maddog55
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To: dead

This guy will be dead within minutes when society collapses.


10 posted on 01/19/2014 10:07:43 AM PST by Viennacon
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To: dead

This weenie is never going to get laid again. Ever.


11 posted on 01/19/2014 10:07:51 AM PST by Lurker (Violence is rarely the answer. But when it is it is the only answer.)
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To: dead

Why is this posted here??
I would think it would go well in some gay forum...


12 posted on 01/19/2014 10:08:02 AM PST by bill1952 (Choice is an illusion created between those with power - and those without)
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To: dead
6 should be: I no longer engage in sexual activities with females. It is just too stressful.
13 posted on 01/19/2014 10:09:07 AM PST by mosaicwolf (Strength and Honor)
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To: dead

A pajama boy is born.....

take his man card away and hand him a mini pad


14 posted on 01/19/2014 10:09:48 AM PST by 12th_Monkey (In an alternate universe Obama still dips ice cream)
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To: onyx

“This idiot needs to get lost.”

This idiot needs to get saved. By Jesus.


15 posted on 01/19/2014 10:10:42 AM PST by PastorBooks
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To: maddog55

This is what happens when you hang around too many
feminists. Sad.


16 posted on 01/19/2014 10:11:38 AM PST by tet68 ( " We would not die in that man's company, that fears his fellowship to die with us...." Henry V.)
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To: dead

He certainly has a twisted view of what most men I know consider masculinity to be. We’ve never had the “problems” that he has purportedly “overcome”.


17 posted on 01/19/2014 10:11:43 AM PST by Bob
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To: dead

never wrote his name in the snow


18 posted on 01/19/2014 10:11:48 AM PST by NonValueAdded (It's not the penalty, it's the lack of coverage on 1 Jan. Think about it.)
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To: dead

Hahahahhahhaa!


19 posted on 01/19/2014 10:13:17 AM PST by Ray76 (How modern liberals think: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eaE98w1KZ-c)
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To: dead

gay


20 posted on 01/19/2014 10:13:31 AM PST by jtal (Runnin' a World in Need with White Folks' Greed - since 1492)
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