Posted on 12/10/2013 9:05:08 AM PST by markomalley
Now, at first I thought this was a hoax But it appears it isn’t. Apparently a fellow writing into a Jihadi chat show, wants to do “martyrdom operations.” The sheikh he talked to says they’ve got a great new technique to blow up infidels. We hide explosives up your butt. There’s just one hitch. You’ve got to be repeatedly sodomized in order to be able to accommodate the explosive. So, the questioner wants to know if it is permissible for him to be regularly rogered, if doing so makes his posterior more amenable to hiding explosives. The fellow on camera, Shiite cleric Abdallah Al-Khilaf, says that even though sodomy is forbidden if it is necessary for jihad, well, then it is required. Because jihad is the highest obligation.
Now, what I find hilarious here is that it never occurs to anyone that there might be some kind of technological work-around short of repeated sodomy. You know, maybe there’s a device or a technique, something that is a little less unpleasant, inconvenient or forbidden than straight-up buggery? Nope. Gotta go with the sodomy. The Saturday Night Live skit writes itself.
Jihadi: What if we make the bomb smaller?
Sheikh: What? That’s crazy. Sodomy is the only way.
Jihadi: Couldn’t I use replica of a male, well, you know. In private like . . .
Sheikh: Shh! Let’s not even discuss it.
Jihadi: What if I’m willing to tolerate a lot of discomfort when it comes time for the martyrdom operation? I mean, it’s my choice. I am blowing myself up after all. What’s a little discomfort?
Sheikh: You’re not hearing me. This is the way it has to be. Don’t you want to murder infidels?
I have a sister who was an emergency room nurse. She has a lot of amusing stories about her experiences there with people putting things in uh...places they weren’t designed to go.
There are better carriers.
“You’re not really here for the jihad, are you, Salman?”
I saw this before a while ago.
Goldberg dug out something from the files.
If you’d like to be on or off, please FR mail me.
..................
The things you have to go through to kill infidels.
The Sheikh will do his holy duty and provide the necessary male member to do the sodding.
Part that, and mostly inbreeding which I think causes it to begin with. They would worship a jello mold if it promised them 72 virgins.
> And if you don’t have a gerbil, just use your Bieber.
Stuneing!
SILENCE!!! I KILLLLL EWE!!!
LOL. I had an aunt who used carry one of those crusty hankies. You did not want to be around her on a cold winter day!
This Nov. 9, 2012 photo provided by the U.S. Attorney's Office shows Babar Ahmad, extradited in October 2012 with Syed Talha Ahsan to the United States from Britain on charges they supported terrorists in Afghanistan and Chechnya by operating websites to raise cash, recruit fighters and solicit items such as gas masks. Ahmad pleaded not guilty on Oct. 6, 2012 and is detained while he awaits trial. Both men have hearings scheduled Tuesday, Dec. 10, 2013, in federal court in New Haven, Conn., to change their pleas. They had previously pleaded not guilty. The two men faced charges in Connecticut, where an Internet service provider was allegedly used to run one of the websites.
They are everywhere.
Luck bastards, the government's been doing this to me for years and the only title I get is "taxpayer"
Imam: "You must be buggered."
AbD: "No, I mean the jihad thing, you know? Bomb the infidels to the nether regions?"
Imam: "I tell you about nether regions. You must be buggered."
AbD: "No, I mean, I want to make a bomb attack on the Navy. Strap a saddle onto a torpedo and ride that sucker all the way to my 32 virgins, knowwhumsayin'?"
Imam: "You must be buggered."
AbD: "Uh, Padre, the thing is 12 feet long."
Imam: "My name is not Padre. You must be buggered."
AbD: "Dude. Aren't you, like, just a little too enthusiastic about this whole rectal rodeo thing?"
Imam: "You must be buggered. Buggered like a bubble-butt Brigadier. Humped like a Brahma bull. Reamed like a Riyadh rump ranger. Cornholed like a Cub Scout. Bored like a..."
AbD: "I get the picture, Cap'n. Now lemme guess - you'd be willing to help me out in that direction, right?"
Imam: "It is my religious duty."
AbD: "I'll bet. Look, I think I'll pass on the whole jihad thingy. My hemorrhoids ain't gonna take it. Say, don't I know you?"
Imam: "Ah, before my conversion I used to work for the IRS."
Back in 1987 when the CIA sent mules from Tennessee to the freedom fighters in Afghanistan, the CIA operatives were amazed that the first thing the Muslims did to the mules was sodomize them. They explained that it was important to show the mules dominance. Whatever.....
They do this even today in India.
Finding a Hindu will to do what is, ahem, 'required' in this thread; they have taken to using the sacred cows that wander around everywhere.
After placing a remotely detonated bomb in the rectum of the beast; they merely wait until it walks near to the intended target and then
The New Delhi Times reports that this wave of terrorism is simply abominable.
Achmed may refuse!
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