Posted on 09/25/2013 10:13:34 AM PDT by GraceG
Yeah different crowds. The ones that went to college and couldn’t find work will probably get the ship righted at some point (unless their college degree is in something stupid). But this group if they went to college at all it was to get financial aid (free money) and they weren’t even smart enough to understand that that scam works better if you actually go to class and pass.
And unfortunately some of us men who want to enter the adult world all the way and start a family have little to no options to find a suitable mate. Women of Gen X or younger are more shallow than ever thanks to the media’s influence, so if you’re not Brad Pitt they’ll hold out for someone better-looking and say you should just be “friends.” Many of them are now dynamos in school and their career and value that far higher than a marriage or family. These women wouldn’t even consider getting married in their 20s. The feminist-influenced culture is stronger than ever when it comes to training women to think men are worthless and that they should be “independent.” I’ve been told by some that they’d rather have a baby on their own and be a single mom than ever get married. So the ones who follow the “rules” in society have the money to support themselves and wait for the earn, Mr. Perfect will have to earn more to be suitable. Which makes their prospects even more unlikely since women are starting to earn more than men these days on average.
As these women get older and start to “hit the wall,” their standards sometimes go down, but by then they’re approaching being past child-bearing age. Meanwhile, if as a guy you lower your standards for a mate, you’re looking at women who have substance-abuse problems, poor physical or mental health, terrible mismanagement of their finances, or other baggage that would make it hard to have a normal family. Nevermind trying to find a woman who agrees with you on basic political issues. The vast majority of young women are liberals.
But the biggest problem by far is their culture. Women are far more likely to be “followers” in society than men. They follow all the cues in the culture. And the culture, media and their education has been hammering into their head over and over for decades that they need men like a fish needs a bicycle. Single motherhood is respected and championed far, far more than marriage. And it’s supported by transfer payments where necessary. There is no stigma against being unmarried or being a single mother. That died the day that Dan Quayle was torn to shreds over the issue. Couple that with the fact that the younger generation of women are now doing as good or better financially than men, which has taken away the biggest practical incentive for them to get married. One thing that contributes to the modern breakdown of the family is when even otherwise responsible people in society choose not to start them.
The primary driver I see behind the failure of these 2 generations of parent is that they became parents because that’s what you’re supposed to do. My MIL has repeatedly said she never wanted kids but that’s what was expected, so she had 3. David’s dad, who was a total loser and scammer, died largely as a complication of being lazy (long story, short version is knew he was unhealthy but never dealt with any issue until is was life threatening and finally lost that bet); my wife who hated the household and couldn’t wait to get out and actually functions as an adult; and the other BIL who is slightly less useless than his brother. She never embraced the role of parent, but she LOVES the title, she frequently declares she should be listened to because she’s the mother, to which my replies are usually very snarky. She never has any life lessons, my wife taught her how to balance a checkbook when FIL was very ill and could not to the “man’s work” for a few months, but she’s the mother, just ask her.
And thing rolled similarly with the next generation. With a habitually unemployed scammer of a father David learned a lot of bad lessons while mom was off working 12 hour shifts as a nurse. Of course much like his father he exists because “you’re supposed to have kids”, neither embraced the role, neither wanted the responsibility, Dad liked having somebody to watch TV with, gave him a fine eye for quality entertainment. He could actually probably be a TV or movie reviewer, which just makes me hate him more.
But you know my wife proves you can rise above that crap. Even as a teenager you can see the idiocy of your childhood and set course for saner pastures.
“They are irresponsible losers living off of their parents. Responsibility will be required when they least expect it; by then it is too late. The money will run out quickly after their parents die. Things are already collapsing. Within the next 10-15 years the trend will accelerate.”
They are just following the examples set by the welfare livestock, though without financially burdening us with “golden ticket” bastards. Why should they grow up? to pay the bills for those segments of our society that won’t?
I’m a married parent and homeowner, but I begrudge these young people nothing. I just shut them up quickly when they complain about the number of foreigners around (imported because our young people won’t breed). It was only a matter of time before our young people (especially the guys) looked at their future prospects trying to do things in a traditional way when it is openly accepted (practically required) to discriminate against them in favor of other groups.
“This has been the divorce industry’s wet dream. I don’t know which ones offhand, but I seem to recall some states that can order child support for adults over 18 while they are in college. Any single man in the US who isn’t planning on getting a vasectomy is an f***ing fool. The industry is planning to make them slaves for life.”
NJ is one of the states that can make you keep paying beyond 18 years. The divorce industry is breathing it’s last gasps, though; nobody gets married anymore. Soon a divorce lawyer will have the earning potential of a mule skinner...
“Then we should also change the voting eligibility requirements! Id exempt our fine military servicemembers of course...”
The collapse of this country can be directly traced to when property ownership was no longer required; people who had no “skin in the game” started voted themselves goodies from those who did, and it’s been downhill ever since.
Nothing elitist intended; the fact is that if an area collapses some people lose everything while others simply don’t renew their lease and move on.
I said there are LOTS of 30 year old kids, never said ALL. There are notable exceptions, like your brother, to every rule but its pretty clear that we have an epidemic of young adults hanging around the house too long. And it often retards their development into adulthood. That’s not a good thing for them in many instances.
I never wanted kids, never liked being around them (even when very young) and the level of responsibility is quite frightening. Married a like minded woman, never had em. But if something untoward did happen I’d be pushing them to adulthood hard, I’d raise Doogie Houser just so I could kick them out early. Which is always the part that confuses me about my in-laws. I understand not wanting kids, I kind of understand bowing to societal norms and having them anyway, I don’t understand not turning them into adults. My MIL will die with a child in the house, and not in that old fashioned multi-generational household thing, she’ll have a chronically unemployed 40 or 50 something. Which also means she never gets to enjoy the only part of parenting that intrigues me even a little: hanging out with your grown kids and reveling in their success. She doesn’t even get to do that with her only successful adult because her open jealousy about us taking our own path has seriously strained her relationship with my wife.
I don’t know, somewhere in there is another life lesson my mom imparted: don’t half ass anything, even the stuff you don’t want to do. I did 6 years in fastfood before heading back to school and realigning life, hated every minute of it, but during one of our annual inspections by the mothership the inspector said I was probably the best grill person in the city. And I worked hard to be that, because sucking at it wasn’t going to make the job any more enjoyable, at least I could get the faint life praise of being good at a terrible job.
Guess it’s always easy to solve other people’s lives.
It happened to me in 1997. I lost all respect for our country that day. Well, not just that day. I sat through a lot of family court to see how it worked. Ever since then I feel a little like the US is kinda like the Soviet Union in the 1960’s. Our government is dangerous to individuals.
>>Coincidentally, Junior called this morning to say thanks for footing the bill and hopefully we won’t have to this time next years. We pay for the kids’ health and car insurance, mainly so we won’t be stuck with a huge bill one day (knock on wood).<<
I paid my own car insurance, and considering my high school driving record, damn, it was expensive. $220 a month in 1985. Now adjust that for inflation. Fortunately, I finally learned how to drive like a mature adult.
I dont defend the state for what it does. It was doing it then, and it will be doing it on into the future. I still think marriage is the cornerstone of our society.
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I think that marriage is the cornerstone of society. Now that it is not taken seriously in the secular world, I think that the religious should marry within their faith, but I am not sure that it is worthwhile to claim it as a secular legal contract.
Well, it may surprise you, perhaps not, that I’m not sure you’re on the right track here.
We may not like what government has done with marriage, but it is important that couples make it as clear as can be that they are legally married.
Sudden deaths and final outcomes of property disbursement are much easier if there are clear relationships that can be proven.
This is best done with a marriage license that is on file at the county records office.
I’m sympathetic to your views here, because I think we are are less than thrilled with what government is doing in this area.
If you have kids, and the spouse goes south, you better believe you’re better off if you can prove your relationship, and that you had an active ongoing interest in those kids.
I understand what you are saying, but many of those issues can be managed legally with wills and other devices.
I am not sure it is wise to be more of a government patsy than you or your family has to be.
And you may be right. Take care...
You too.
Thank you.
I could go on. There are a lot more jobs than those...all depending on the misery of others. Yeah, we're a sick culture, and that kind of illness is terminal.
“Soon a divorce lawyer will have the earning potential of a mule skinner...”
Maybe that’s why a new category of “marriage” has been created: gay “marriage”?
It provides a new market.
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