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A SOLUTION TO GLOBAL WARMING AND GUNS
Original Content | April 3, 2013 | By Laz A. Mataz

Posted on 04/03/2013 2:47:46 PM PDT by Lazamataz

I have a solution to the Global Warming Dilemma. You know the one, the dilemma in which the planet is heating up furiously due to humanity's actitivies on the planet (except it's not, really, and even The Economist had to back off the claim... but I digress....)

THE SOLUTION TO THE PROBLEM OF GLOBAL WARMING IS THIS: RESTRICT THE SIZE OF GAS TANKS.

See: "I will tell you these are gasolines, they’re fuels, so the people who have those big gas tanks, now they’re going to drive them, so if you ban them in the future, the number of these high capacity gas tanks is going to decrease dramatically over time because the gas will have been used and there won’t be any more available."

Where did I come up with this wonderful idea? Why, none other than Rep. Diana DeGette (D-Colorado), who showed us the way, remarking "I will tell you these are ammunition, they’re bullets, so the people who have those now they’re going to shoot them, so if you ban them in the future, the number of these high capacity magazines is going to decrease dramatically over time because the bullets will have been shot and there won’t be any more available." (April 2, 2013, Denver Post forum)

To be fair, the spokewoman for Diana DeGette (D-Colorado) gave a correction: "The Congresswoman has been working on a high-capacity assault magazine ban for years, and has been deeply involved in the issue; she simply misspoke in referring to ‘magazines’ when she should have referred to ‘clips,’ which cannot be reused because they don’t have a feeding mechanism,"

Ok, okay! That's much better. Wait...... what?

Clips can be reloaded just as easily as magazines. Well, never mind all that, let's move on.

She is also the Democrat who arrogantly chuckled at a senior citizen, "You’d probably be dead anyway...." if confronted by armed intruder, when the senior citizen spoke to her about the unintended consquences to older people, should magazines be banned. Is there anything this smug elitist DOESN'T know? Wait....... what?

There are some things she doesn't know. For example, just about anything to do with firearms, which she seeks to legislate upon.

Nonetheless, I shall not look this gift horse in the mouth. I shall take the leads I can get, so I am leading the charge to limit the capacity of high-volume assault-gas-tanks, in order to ultimately remove gasoline from the general population, and stop global warming!

Ok folks, now that I have solved Global Warming, I'm off to have dinner. That is, if there's any food left. You see, once you get done using your silverware to eat the food in your fridge, the number of silverwares out there is going to decrease dramatically over time, and then there will never be any food any more. There won't be any more available.


TOPICS: FReeper Editorial
KEYWORDS: degette; vanity
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To: visualops

Thank you! I... um.... think.


41 posted on 04/03/2013 4:11:20 PM PDT by Lazamataz ("AP" clearly stands for American Pravda. Our news media has become completely and proudly Soviet.)
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To: SpinnerWebb

Of course he would. Laz does not discriminate. He is an equal opportunity hoser.


42 posted on 04/03/2013 4:17:57 PM PDT by SgtHooper (The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.)
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To: Lazamataz

I bow to your over active imagination and wicked IQ.


43 posted on 04/03/2013 4:26:25 PM PDT by Vendome (Don't take life so seriously, you won't live through it anyway)
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To: Lazamataz
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
44 posted on 04/03/2013 4:28:01 PM PDT by Delta 21 (Oh Crap !! Did I say that out loud ??!??)
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To: Lazamataz

45 posted on 04/03/2013 4:35:29 PM PDT by JoeProBono (A closed mouth gathers no feet - Mater tua caligas exercitus gerit ;-{)
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To: Lazamataz

Laz, my hat is off to ya.

Great minds think alike, you and that chick in CO.

Are you eligible to run for Prez? I’m in dude, I’ll be your Press Sexetary. Got that stuff down, yeah!

But, I’ll be needing a pony. ‘K?


46 posted on 04/03/2013 4:40:19 PM PDT by West Texas Chuck (Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms. That should be a convenience store, not a Government Agency.)
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To: West Texas Chuck

No ponies.


47 posted on 04/03/2013 4:51:13 PM PDT by Lazamataz ("AP" clearly stands for American Pravda. Our news media has become completely and proudly Soviet.)
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To: Lazamataz

As they say humans are the leading cause of gorebull warming, why not ban high capacity wombs.


48 posted on 04/03/2013 5:12:32 PM PDT by mnehring
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To: Lazamataz

I swoon at your brilliance for solving these two conundrums, and at the same time!

But if you hit that one, I’ll never speak to you again.

Well, for a day or two at least.


49 posted on 04/03/2013 5:18:27 PM PDT by TheOldLady
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To: Lazamataz

Have used every one of those quotes, Laz, in an attempt to gain followers. It worked for a while and a HUGE gain of two followers at FR was attained till one of them passed away or quit coming around because could not take reading my stuff no more. It is okay. It was the bot that quit me. The other follower may be a human.


50 posted on 04/03/2013 5:25:53 PM PDT by no-to-illegals (Scrutinize our government and Secure the Blessing of Freedom and Justice)
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To: Lazamataz
You are truly brilliant! So if we ban the use of silverware, plasticware WILL quickly wear out and break AND anyone who is too sophisticated to eat with their hands (like we know rednecks and tea partiers do all the time) will starve to death AND we will, sooner rather than later be free of liberals!

Without your help I would never have been able to figure this out. I am more hopeful about the future now that you have helped me. thank you Laz!

51 posted on 04/03/2013 5:37:43 PM PDT by Ditter
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To: Lazamataz

Holy smokes!

Don’t spend any more money!

What if they stop making $80b/month???


52 posted on 04/03/2013 6:08:00 PM PDT by MV=PY (The Magic Question: Who's paying for it)
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To: Lazamataz

LOLOL! Thanks for the ping!


53 posted on 04/03/2013 8:49:48 PM PDT by Alamo-Girl
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To: Alamo-Girl

Thank you for ACCEPTING my ping!


54 posted on 04/04/2013 1:15:10 AM PDT by Lazamataz ("AP" clearly stands for American Pravda. Our news media has become completely and proudly Soviet.)
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To: Lazamataz

You continue to impress. Thanks for the ping-a-ling.


55 posted on 04/04/2013 7:23:30 AM PDT by jag.drafting
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To: VRW Conspirator
Did someone say Bacon?!


56 posted on 04/05/2013 4:40:20 AM PDT by mc5cents
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To: Lazamataz

haha that was really directed at the “these are ammunition” congresscritter


57 posted on 04/05/2013 5:38:47 PM PDT by visualops (artlife.us)
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To: Ron C.

I’d hit almost anything? No. A lot? Yes, but I wouldn’t hit that.


58 posted on 04/06/2013 12:19:34 AM PDT by tdscpa
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