Posted on 04/01/2013 12:13:46 AM PDT by Vendome
So I turn on the TV and this guy, with a horrible toupe' is talking about sowing and money.
He keeps going on and on about anointing people with oil, as if it has any effect and Low and Behold "We got $400k and then we got a check a few days later for $1 million!"
"Send me $1,000 now. I just received instructions from God that led me to more miracles in my life than I'd had in three years. In fact, I bought a Cessna Citation and a few weeks later I bought an even more expensive one!"
"I'm gonna pray for an annointing of 1,000 phone calls. But, I want to pray for 1,000 to have a financial breakthrough in their lives. I'm going to pray for three miracles"
"The 1st miracle I want you to receive is that God will give you "Uncommon Favor!" with somebody in position to bless you"
"Everyone! Say favor with me!"(chanting favor)
"Say it again!"(I'm stoopit "Favor!")
"Again!" "Again!" "Again!" "Again!" (You idiotic lemmings)
"God will treat you better than you'll treat yerself"
"I wanna explain this to you. A few weeks ago I got a call from a friend and he starts to singing Happy Birthday to you and tells me to look out my window and there was a corvette he'd given me."
"Couple of weeks later a woman drove up and said God told her to give me her Special Edition Corvetter. I didn't even know the woman"
"A few months later I pull up tuh muh house and there was another corvette. Beautiful, yellow and God was just blessing me, because I sowed!" (You are on Paoti chump)
"Say praise the lord" (The rubes did)
"See, I don't need the watch. I need more wisdom"
"So my friend says he'll give me a car. I tell him I don't want a car. I got more cars than I can use and I ain't driving the ones I got."
"See? That's uncommon favor and it can happen to you!"
"Say it with me, Uncommon Favor"(Yep, they chant a couple 5 times}
"The second thing I want to pray for you to have is "Uncommon Heath"(Now, I start laughing and thinking Aids or Cancer'd be pretty uncommon. Thanks!)
"How'd you like to have 90 years of perfect health?!"(Well, Effing Duh!)
"My dad's here tonight he never spent 5 minutes in the hospital. I believe we have a right to the healing power!"
I honestly can't write anymore.
This guy is a tool, a deceiver and a false profit.
If anyone gives money to this tard, you deserve what you get.
Which will likely be nothing.
I wonder if it was this guy that old Harold and Ethel were watching in the old folks’ home. He kept saying how he could heal the sick. So Harold did like the preacher told him to - putting one hand up there on the TeeVee like he said. And the other hand on the ailment.
When Ethel saw Harold with his hand down the front of his pant’s she yelled at him “Didn’t ya hear the man Harold??!! He said he could heal the sick. Not raise the dead!!”
Just turn the deceiver off. He's no different than our current PRESidENT, both are promising something for nothing out of thin air.
Mathew_6:24 No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.
Couldn’t turn him off.
He had some pretty good one liners and I thought they were funny.
LOL!
LOL!!!!!!!!!
A Pentecostal prosperity preacher - false religion, doctrine and false prophet. He is not the only Pentecostal preaching and teaching this false doctrine.
I watch very little TV. That said, our washer and dryer are on the fritz.
Off to the all-night laundromat I go.
There was one other fellow there, and since I really didn’t care, I said “Put on what ever you’d like.” Ended up watching a hour of this assclown.
Funny - in that hour, he never mentioned the name of Jesus once. Never once talked about Calvary or the Resurrection.
But scarcely a sentence came out of his mouth with out the word money, or a reference to some sort of material wealth.
I thought of saying something to the guy that put him on the TV, but from the vacant stare, I knew it wouldn’t register.
Murdock seems worse than most. He doesn’t talk about sending little gifts. He talks about sending your whole household budget. Don’t worry, if you really send everything, God will give you lots more stuff.
You’re right though. He is funny. In a very dark, empty, self-absorbed sort of way.
By the way - If you feel compelled to give after watching him, send it to me. I guarantee God will bless you just as much. Maybe more.
I know some good jokes too. One-liners are $1,000 each. Ten grand will get you a half hour non-stop stand up.
“Are you naked, sitting in a bean bag chair, eating Cheetos?”
“Yes, sir!”
Abundance Theology.... Just like “The Secret” movie that was so popular. Here is an excellent You Tube video parody that will make you laugh:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usbNJMUZSwo
If anyone gives money to a church it should be a local church and used localy. Otherwise people who send money to these weirdos are morons.
On the last link they do a spoof on Mike Murdock!!!
I don’t watch tv preachers, none of them. I attend church. In church I hear fellow members talking about various tv preachers, “Oh, this one’s good, that one’s bad”.
Whatever, I don’t have time to sort them out.
Rich man. Camel. Eye of needle. If he’s really read the Book then he knows what happens when people use the temple as a marketplace when the Master arrives.
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