Posted on 12/30/2012 9:33:04 PM PST by NKP_Vet
A few days ago my best friend from High School sent me a 'Vietnam Veteran' hat. I never had one of these before and I was pretty hyped about it, especially because my friend Ronn was considerate enough to take the time to give it to me.
Yesterday, I wore it when I went to Wal-Mart. There was nothing in particular that I needed at the world's largest retailer but, since I retired, trips to Wally World to look at the Walmartians is always good for some comic relief. Besides, I always feel pretty normal after seeing some of the people that frequent the establishment. But, enough of my psychological fixes.
While standing in line to check out, the guy in front of me, probably in his early thirties, asked, "Are you a Vietnam Vet?"
"No" I replied.
"Then why are you wearing that hat?"
"Because I couldn't find one for the War of 1812." I thought it was a snappy retort.
"The War of 1812, huh." the Walmartian queried, "When was that?"
God forgive but, I couldn't pass up such an opportunity. "1936"
He pondered my response for a moment and responded, "Why do they call it the War of 1812 if it was in 1936?"
"It was a Black Op. No one is supposed to know about it." This was beginning to be way fun.
"Dude! Really!" he exclaimed. "How did you get to do something that COOOOL?"
I glanced furtively around me for effect, leaned toward the guy and in a low voice said, "I'm not sure. I was the only Caucasian on the mission."
"Dude!", he was really getting excited about what he was hearing. "That is seriously Awesome! But, didn't you kind of stand out?"
"Not really. The other guys were wearing white camouflage." The moron nodded knowingly.
"Listen man," I said in a very serious tone, "You can't tell anyone about this. It's still Top Secret and I shouldn't have said anything."
"Oh yeah." he gave me the "don't threaten me look. "Like, what's gonna happen if I do?"
With a really hard look I said, "You have a family don't you? We wouldn't want anything to happen to them would we?"
The guy gulped, left his basket where it was and fled through the door. By this time the lady behind me was about to have a heart attack she was laughing so hard. I just grinned at her.
After checking out and going to the parking lot I saw dimwit leaning in a car window talking to a young woman. Upon catching sight of me he started pointing excitedly in my direction. Giving him another 'deadly' serious look, I made the "I see you" gesture. He turned kind of pale, jumped in the car and sped out of the parking lot.
What a great time! Tomorrow I'm going back with a Homeland Security hat. Whoever said retirement is boring just needs the right kind of hat..
scroll down to page 358....
Don't tell anybody...
Love it. First time I’ve heard a story about a vet taking it to the punks (on FR).
Would love to have put that on YouTube.
Once a few of us went to a Teach-In at George Washington Un. in the late evening. Between the three of us, we had over 12 trips to Nam and 1 to Cambodia.
Each of us took terms educating the unwashed. Nobody really bothered us because of two things. My friend Dan would stand up in a dark leather outfit with sunglasses (bad eyes) and say to a speaker. “Shut the hell up. I was there. Let me tell you what really happened.” Got a lot of attention and silence.
Once when I joined in, my 6 foot long linked chain fell from around my waste (I was in combat khakis, etc). Nobody interrupted me when I spoke. I kinda liked their courtesy.
Wonder why they were so attentive?
Don’t you just love war stories, even if the war we fought was often at home?
#26. My son’s company, the 299th MRB(MultiRole Bridge) had finished combat operations on the Euphrates River (Objective Peach) on April 3, 2003, and were then assigned patrol duty until the could regroup and go to their new supply base at Balad AF Base north of Baghdad.
Josh said that they began to come upon Iraqi regulars (the Republican Guard divisions had been chopped up by the Air Force and a Paladin Artillery Unit). They were disorganized and had no heart for any fight.
The guys from the 299th disarmed them, searched them, and then took them to containment points. After a while, so many Iraqis were surrendering that there were no facilities to hold them so they were again disarmed, searched, and then sent home.
Meanwhile the 3rd ID armor ran over any remaining Republican Guard resistance on their drive to seize Baghdad Airport. Then they helped to seize the city proper. There was a “tank run” through Baghdad (either 3rd ID or 1st Marines) that led to the almost immediate surrender of the remaining Iraqi commanders and their forces.
I did hear the story about sending POWS to the French. Don’t know if it was true or not but it still is a good story the way you tell it.
My contacts with POWS/defectors in VN and Cambodia involved mainly VC ralliers/defectors (Chieu Hoi) and a couple senior NVA offices. In Cambodia, I interviewed NVA regulars, mainly teenagers who were drafted to fight the Americans. Boy were they surprised to find themselves being killed and captured by the Cambodians and So. Vietnamese in the Spring/summer, 1970.
Defectors are among the best sources of information you can get if you treat them decently and ask sensible questions (as I journalist I was asking things that the military weren’t too interested in, i.e. about their lives at home, political developments, etc. versus operational military intelligence). Came up with some great stuff which led to other things which are still classified.
That is why I loved being a journalist in the field. You never knew what kind of gems of information you could come up with, but if you were good, you got some.
Ping
On a serious note, the nicest thing you can say to a Vietnam vet is “welcome home”. We didn’t get too much of that.
Thanks for making my morning.
Nobody ever mentions the skirmish of 1811 which prompted the war of 1812.......
TOO FUNNY!!!!!!!
Dads always appreciate a good joke from their kids. Be aware, paybacks are HELL from them!!!!
I heard one way to get a rise out of people is to wear an INS hat to WalMart.
Heh. That would be one way to clear out a long line.
Great thread. Thank you for your service.
You reminded me of a gentleman who wrote about a company in his town that hired illegals. He and others formed a group. They had jackets made, with the name on the back. I don’t remember what the name was, but it had three words in it. They had the name printed on the back of the jackets with the first letter of each word very large, and the rest of the letters in the words very tiny. From a distance, you could only read the very large letters. They were ICE. The group would visit the company wearing their group’s jackets, and the illegals saw the ICE on the jackets, and would run. The boss of the company told the group that he would quit hiring illegals if they would quit coming in their jackets. They agreed.
Lady in line came up and stuck her hand out and said "That Valorous Unit Award don't come easy, Thank you for your service." I 'bout fell off my stool, she was a retired Full Bull.
Might have been me before I started carrying note pad and pencil with me, so that now when I smash up unattended parked cars, I get out and studiously write a note to leave under their wiper blade, that says something like this:
"There may be people watching me right now, so I'm leaving this note, they think I'm leaving you my identification, address, insurance company info, etc. but I'm not. Please don't park your car in my path in the future, it's very inconsiderate of you".
Personally, as a Vietnam era Veteran who served my entire tour of duty stateside, I would be uncomfortable wearing a Vietnam Veteran hat, even if my best friend who served over there had given me his before he died. I feel that it would be disrespectful to those who did serve in that hell hole.
For your amusement.
According to a dear friend who was a mortician, they customarily slit open the back, think hospital gown. They’d fit.
Thanks. That makes me feel a lot better. Now I can go in peace.
You don't consider that a valid question? Anyone can put the hat on and there are plenty of posers out there.
One day several years ago, I had to go to the local hospital ER in Arizona for admission for a medical issue. When I got to the ER, it was filled with people. I stood there in the seating area for a moment, looking around for a place to wait my turn. Suddenly, groups of people started gathering up their belongings and heading out the door. At first I didn’t connect the people leaving abruptly and me standing there. But after sitting down in one of the vacated seats, I smiled silently to myself when I realized the power of the US Border Patrol cap I was wearing. It was very well made and looked authentic. The people leaving were illegals and were afraid of the border patrol guy who had just come in and started surveying the crowd in the lobby. True story.
For 20+ years, I had several sets of uniforms, dress blues and fatigues, all neatly cleaned, starched, in moth balls up in the attic. I’d pretty much forgotten about them. One day, in the mid 90’s, my two then teen-age daughters found them, and liberated them, and wore them, in various iterations, to high school for several months. I consoled myself as there was no way I could ever get into them again. I’m in pretty good shape, still am, but gawd..we were all skinny bastards back then.
...trips to Wally World to look at the Walmartians is always good for some comic relief... the guy in front of me, probably in his early thirties, asked, "Are you a Vietnam Vet?" "No" I replied. "Then why are you wearing that hat?" "Because I couldn't find one for the War of 1812." ... "The War of 1812, huh." the Walmartian queried, "When was that?" ... "1936" He pondered my response for a moment and responded, "Why do they call it the War of 1812 if it was in 1936?" "It was a Black Op. No one is supposed to know about it." ... "Dude! Really!" he exclaimed. "How did you get to do something that COOOOL?" ... "I'm not sure. I was the only Caucasian on the mission." ... "That is seriously Awesome! But, didn't you kind of stand out?" "Not really. The other guys were wearing white camouflage."That *is* seriously awesome!
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