Posted on 10/01/2012 11:23:26 AM PDT by nickcarraway
IT makes little sense to explore a new era of family values based around Hollywood couplings. Or, worse yet, around mere rumors of the way movie stars conduct their marital affairs.
But might there be seeds of something worth considering in one such rumor, that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes signed a five-year marriage contract?
Its a dim data point but not an isolated one, suggesting people are rethinking marriage, at least around the edges. Prenuptial agreements, a different sort of contract, are on the rise, as is vowless cohabitation. The ages at which people marry have hit record highs, 28.7 years for men and 26.5 for women. And gay marriage has provoked widespread conversation about the institutions meaning and place.
Last year, several lawmakers in Mexico City proposed the creation of short-term, renewable marriage contracts with terms as brief as two years. The idea was to own up to the reality that marriages fail about half the time.
Is marriage headed for an overhaul? A fundamental rethinking? Is it due for one?
When the Mexican legislators proposed their idea, which was not passed, the archdiocese there called it absurd and said it was anathema to the nature of marriage. I decided to put the questions to a different group: the people who study marriage and divorce. I was motivated not just by trend lines but, as a child of divorce, by ghosts.
I asked whether society should consider something like a 20-year marriage contract, my own modest proposal that, as in the one from Mexico, acknowledges the harsh truth that nearly half of marriages in the United States end in divorce and many others are miserable. The rough idea: two people, two decades, enough time to have and raise children if thats your thing; a new status quo, a
(Excerpt) Read more at nytimes.com ...
Not true.
The harsh truth that nearly half of marriages in the United States end in divorce
Boy, they desperately want this to be true. But it isnt.
Anything the leftists propose is just another tool to oust God and family, and to degrade the human spirit.
It’s like someone gave Stupid a half pound of cocaine and set it loose....
Well, it makes it look more like a prison sentence............
I thought the Muslims had already invented fixed term marriages, but maybe it’s only the Muslims in Iran. In their version the fixed term is much shorter—an hour or a few hours.
I wouldn’t be too quick to paint a rosey picture. The 50% statistic might be closer to 30%, but that’s still 1 out of 3, which is terrible. Purely anecdotal I know, but growing up, it was extremely rare for my children to know another child who still lived with both of his/her biological parents.
I did my graduate thesis on marriage and divorce trends, and in particular, the participation of the Supreme Court in destroying the social contract of marriage starting in the early 60s. I vote no on this proposal.
5 year marriage contract?
At the end of which any children are divided between the parents in a Solomonic manner.
I find this disgusting, but not surprising.
I like the idea of 120-minute-increment marriages.
I don’t paint a rosy picture.
I don’t say the current divorce rate is good.
I say that if the divorce rate is 30% and the media keeps telling us that it is over 50%, then the media is lying to us, spreading propaganda, and trying to further undermine what health is left within American marriages.
That is all.
People dont get married and divorced based upon statistics. While I understand your frustration about the 50% vs 30% thing - I assume it has to do with those people divorced multiple times figuring in; a statistical blunder only if the stat is reported at 50% of people not 50% of marriages. Clarification would be appreciated. It bears noting that there are some even scarier statistics bandied about in my world as a parent to a special needs child where the divorce rate is astronomical; around 75% or so. Ive read it over and over again WRT parents of autistic kids or just parents of special needs kids.
Turns out, that statistic is wildly overstated as well, but it pops up in the media (and in the community) all the time. I have no idea what purpose it serves though. Honestly, I dont.
Sounds almost like they’re trying to bring back the slave marriage vows “... until death or distance do us part”.
Yes...
When people ask how long I have been married, I say to them “ I have served 30 years of a life sentence”...
There is a simple way of undermining this alleged divorce rate. Mickey Rooney.
He has been married 8 times, divorced 6 times. His first wife, Ava Gardner was married 3 times, divorced 3 times. His second wife, B.J. Baker was married 3 times, divorced 3 times. 3rd wife, Martha Vickers, also 3 and 3. 4th wife, Elaine Devry, 2 and 2.
His 5th wife died. His 6th wife, Margaret Lane, and I don’t know if she married anyone else. The same with his 7th wife, Carolyn Hockett. His 8th wife, Jan Rooney married 2 times, divorced the other guy.
So between one man and his wives there were *at least* 16 unique marriages between two people, and *at least* 14 divorces. From just 9 people.
That is, if you count marriages and divorces as a single event, rather than an event for each person. If you do that, there are *at least* 18 divorces for 9 people.
So how many happily married couples who stay married is that balanced against?
every form of blasphemy they can think of
I can see one purpose the inflation of divorce stats among couples with special needs kids might serve - if the child’s anomaly can be detected in utero, abort or it will cost you your marriage.
To spur abortions of possible special-needs babies? Just a guess, but it would certainly fit the agenda.
One more month and we will be at 41 wonderful, fun filled and lovin’ years. Our Honeymoon has never ended. We were going to renew our vows at 50 years, but it’s not looking like I’ll live that long, so we moved the date to 45 years. My kids are going to foot the bill on this one. ;>)
I have two priors, so I know both sides of the issue.... this side is much more fun.
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