Posted on 07/10/2012 1:03:01 AM PDT by Kaslin
If some of you ladies want to know how you can suck the life out of your marriage and drive your good husband to insanity, or to the bar, or into the arms of another woman, or to a divorce attorney, or just shrivel him up into a conquered quail who inwardly loathes you as he dies a slow, emotionally tortuous death, well then . . . this is your lucky day.
Here are 10 surefire principles that’ll make your husband more miserable than Donald Trump forced to watch Rosie river dance naked.
1. Nag your Husband. One way to torture your hubby is to be a nerve grating, contentious, non-stop dripping faucet of faultfinding and finger pointing.
2. Criticize your husband in public. Yep, publicly shame him. Become an expert at unveiling anything about your spouse that’ll cause him to want to jump in front of a speeding bus.
3. Keep Him On a Short Leash. By short leashing your mate with insane limits your man will quickly feel like a stupid son, controlled by you, his new petulant mommy.
4. Become a Drama Queen. Make the atmosphere of your home tense. Make it crazy. I mean … crazy.
5. Hate his Friends. Sever the ties your companion has with those who have walked to hell and back with him because now . . . it’s all about you. You especially want to steer him clear of friends who feel the liberty to shed light on you, the interesting wife.
6. Hate his hobby. Your goal is to joy steal any pleasure that can be had by the poor schlep. And anyways you don’t want him to enjoy anything that you don’t like. [take away fishing pole]
7. Cut him off sexually. It’s not enough to rag and ridicule him and then run his friends off. No, you must go the second mile and turn into the Sex Nazi. No sex for you!
8. Get your family involved in your marriage. Forget this leave and cleave stuff the Bible dictates. If you want your union to unravel then you’ve got to gang tackle your husband with “The Family.”
9. Never apologize. If, in the odd event you do something that hurts your husband never, I mean never, apologize. You . . . apologize? Please.
10. Do we really need a number 10?
Number 6 includes, but is not limited to, making your husband give up any of the following “to make me less nervious,” “for the children,” “so we have a future as a family,” “to prove you really love me” or any such other stupid ‘reason’:
Motorcycling
Firearms
Cars
Trucks/offroading
Hunting (non-firearm)
Computing
Audiophilia
Motorsports
Flying
Beloved animal
Guys, if your girl wants you to give up any of these things, there is a 95% certainty that you found the wrong woman. The funny part is that this type is asking you to give this activity up as a test. If you do give it up at her request, the demands will only increase and will NEVER stop. Your life will be a living hell.
Incredible list and I’d like to buy the author a beer.
If your husband needs a list like this, divorce him NOW. He wanted a substitute mommy, not a wife.
I have a couple of absolutes in my life that I’d know a woman is trying to put my twins in a jar and take control of my life.
My guitars, my CDs, my video games (what’s better than killing people dead in the face digitally?), my books (I like military and sci-fi), any of the cartoons or movies I like, or my band T-shirts.
If she starts asking “Do you really need 16 Iron Maiden shirts,” I know the end is quite near for the relationship.
(Yes, I really do own about that many Iron Maiden shirts)
I did promise to quit racing when we got married.
Still alive and still married after 54 years.
Is there any of the 10 eh, 9 points that cannot be used for 9 Ways Men Can Wreck Their Marriage? IMO, marriage is a two-way street. Husbands have same chance to wreck their marriage upon those points. Btw, I’m a happily married man with a beautiful, smart woman.
I think the BIGGEST mistake women can make in marriage is believing “winning the argument” means they are “right.”
Men, in general, are simply not as verbally adroit as women, by nature. A man arguing with a woman is at the same disadvantage as a woman arm-wrestling a man.
That list describes more men I’ve seen than women. It is an “all about me” litany — I’ll give it that.
“That list describes more men I’ve seen than women. It is an “all about me” litany — I’ll give it that.”
Maybe in San Francisco.
What you say is true. My belief is it is important to stop these sorts of things (demands) from gaining traction by stopping it cold at the start.
In a relationship there has to be a dominant partner and it will either be you or her and from my experience women who feel they can dominate their husbands quickly lose respect for him. Most women do not know how to exercise authority and tend to over do in an effort to “prove’ they are in charge and make sure everyone knows it. This is especially true in the work place where women can very often be petty and over bearing.
lol. No we don’t need a ten. As a wife I have to say I’d kill myself if I found myself doing any of these but I used to be a bit of a drama queen early on—it’s a drain. Dispensed with that quickly and continued pursuit of other artistic endeavors ;-D.
Ummmmm. She told me a LONG time ago that I'm always wrong, so why should she apologize?
Signed,
Life is Hell
Watch too much of “The View”.
My husband started racing after marriage. Maybe he is hoping for a quick death. lol. Congrats by the way!
The world is surely ending. I’m in complete agreement with Doug Giles.
It reminded me an article I read in a hunting magazine:
...When my daughter was being born I was outdoors for a waterfowl hunt. When she were having her graduation ceremony, I was away waterfowl hunting too.
Did you give it up because *you* thought it was the responsible thing to do? Or because she nagged you incessantly until you gave it up?
That’s the difference.
It reminded me an article I read in a hunting magazine:
...When my daughter was being born I was outdoors for a waterfowl hunt. When she were having her graduation ceremony, I was away waterfowl hunting too.
Aaaaaaghhh! My ex HATED my Killers T Shirt! That is so funny you posted that!!!!
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