LMFAO Teach Kids About Sex at American Airlines Arena in Miami

Miami New Times ^ | 06/25/2012 | By Kat Bein

[Responsibility2nd]

LMFAO With Sydney Samson and Far East Movement American Airlines Arena Friday, June 22, 2012

Better Than: The awkward ride home when mom has to explain the "fellatio ratio."

LMFAO do not make music for children. But apparently, that's who's listening to them.

When Redfoo and Sky Blu first hit the streets around 2007, they were funny because they parodied a scene full of consensual adults on loads of drugs, having sex with each other. It was a well-timed, fun inside joke for ragers.

But that gag isn't funny anymore. It's become too big and moved too far from the source. Anyone who's been to a real party just finds them cheap and tacky. However, kids under 12 are eating every last wiggle up. And that's just uncomfortable.

When we arrived at the American Airlines Arena, Far East Movement was finishing their set, and we were stunned to find how similar the vibe was to a Justin Bieber concert. Synchronized dancing, bubblegum-pop gurgle on the sound system, lots of shiny glittery things.

Everywhere you looked, there were children and their party moms with their party boyfriends. Knowing what to expect lyrically, the wait between bands was surreal. But nothing could have prepared us for what we were about to see.

At 9:17 p.m., LMFAO began. The Party Rock crew of dancers came out, dressed like zebra-skinned Disney cartoons and lit up like Christmas trees. Cheesy dubstep blared, and the uncle-nephew duo shot up through smoke from beneath the stage.

We laughed as they yelled, "Put your ******** hands up," expecting the parents to flee with all these babies. But no one ever left. Not when they went into "Sorry For Party Rockin'" and sang about whiskey **** and getting head in public. Not when they yelled about how ten girls to one guy is what they call a "fellatio ratio." The parents and the children just threw their hands up and cheered.

It's kind of like RedFoo is Krusty the Clown. He puts on a suit and entertains children. But you know he goes backstage, takes off his make-up, gets way trashed, and motorboats his favorite groupie. Except this real-life version does it all with his younger nephew, for added absurdity.

Astounding inappropriateness aside, LMFAO put on a big, stellar production. They run around actually singing well, which is more than can be said for a lot of pop performers. Their guitar player is sick. And their dancers are incredibly talented.

The visual element is everything, and there was a ton of eye candy, including confetti, choreographed cuteness, big colorful props, and constant costume changes. And of course, there was a robot guy.

But then we looked down two rows in front of us, and we saw it. We watched with our own eyes as an innocent, six-year-old girl sang, "I am not a whore," and we felt superskeezy as we laughed. But oh, did we laugh. We LMFAO-ed, in fact.

The group worked through their hits. It was an extended WTF moment. Kids cheered as dancers mimed the act of shotgunning beers. And you could see everyone telling themselves, "This isn't weird," as the guys tore their clothes off, revealing speedos with elephant trunks.

And as strange as all this was, there's no doubt LMFAO is aware of their demographic. They're presenting a pre-packaged college party to kids, complete with giant, pink bear costumes and songs about living out your dreams.

They don't often use four-letter language between songs, but they don't clean anything up either. And why should they? You're the parent that brought your kid and their friends. It was your money, but it is LMFAO's now.

So what's the lesson to take away from this strange, surreal situation? What does it mean when young girls sing-along to how-to-whore songs? Is America broken? Are LMFAO terrible people, ruining everything? No, they're not. It's not that big of a deal, really. Because sex is natural and stuff.

But honestly, if we've decided as a culture that kids can watch a concert full of blatant sexual innuendo, foul language, and mock drug and alcohol abuse, we must accept that moral debates are a moot point as long as LMFAO are playing an arena tour to little, little kids.

And if you've got a problem with that, all we can say, "This is 2012. Sorry for party rockin'."

Critic's Notebook

Personal Bias: Watching a 40-something man say "The ladies love us, when we pour shots. They need an excuse, to suck our ****" in front of tweens is a next-level cultural experience. But in the end, I prefer Das Racist.

The Crowd: Mostly cool moms and their tweenyboppers, far more under-ten year olds than could have been imagined, and the rare 20-something or middle-aged party group.

LMFAO's Setlist -"Rock the Beat" -"Sorry For Party Rockin" -"Get Crazy" -"Take It to the Hole" -"Put That Ass to Work" -"I'm In Miami Bitch" -"Getting Over You" -"Boom Boom Pow" -"Shooting Star" -"Reminds Me of You" -"I Am Not a Whore" -"Hot Dog" -"La La La" -"Yes" -"Shots" -"Party Rock Anthem" -"Champagne Showers"

Encore -"I'm Sexy And I Know It"

[Responsibility2nd]

This is what passes for pop culture these days.

Comments?

[Responsibility2nd]

FTA.....   But honestly, if we've decided as a culture that kids can watch a concert full of blatant sexual innuendo, foul language, and mock drug and alcohol abuse, we must accept that moral debates are a moot point as long as LMFAO are playing an arena tour to little, little kids.

 

I wonder though. If this LMFAO was a movie, would it only get a PG-13 rating? I imagine for many kids who live in an R-rated world... LMFAO is mild and tame.

[Jeff Chandler]

In before the “My pastor disapproved of Elvis and this is the same thing so you’re all a bunch of buzz kill prudes” post.

[a fool in paradise]

I wasn’t for changing the historical record and absolving Jim Morrison of his public indecency/exposure charge but after what was mentioned here, he certainly deserves a posthumous public apology from the state of Floriduh.

[a fool in paradise]

This is what passes for pop culture these days.

Tipper Gore doesn't care anymore. It was all a public pony show so her husband could take the national spotlight as he worked to launch his 1988 presidential campaign.

Big Hollywood never looked back at history on her congressional investigations once Al Gore was the #2 man, looking to become #1.

Pssst. Al Gore's Global Warming Scare campaign is just as empty.

[a fool in paradise]

Floriduh Moral Absolutes PING.

So what's the lesson to take away from this strange, surreal situation? What does it mean when young girls sing-along to how-to-whore songs? Is America broken? Are LMFAO terrible people, ruining everything? No, they're not. It's not that big of a deal, really. Because sex is natural and stuff.

But honestly, if we've decided as a culture that kids can watch a concert full of blatant sexual innuendo, foul language, and mock drug and alcohol abuse, we must accept that moral debates are a moot point as long as LMFAO are playing an arena tour to little, little kids.

And it may be written by a girl, but she sure writes like a gay man.

[wideawake]

The two group members consist of a son and a grandson of Motown founder Berry Gordy.

[a fool in paradise]

Sounds like it is Insane Clown Posse for crackwhores and their little bastards.

Glad I listen to rock and roll (which was last heard on commercial radio sometime before the Disney boy/girl acts took the stage in the 1990s).

There is still plenty of new rock and roll being recorded, but it doesn’t fill stadiums, and it’s all about the numbers and theater and gay dance troupes and teaching kids that “sex is natural and stuff so be a sex toy for somebody because Viacom-MTV knows best”.

[dfwgator]

At least my kids would rather me take them to go see AC/DC than this crap. Not saying AC/DC is exactly wholesome for kids, but at least it’s music.

[SmileRight]

Unfortunately, M&M’s uses “I’m sexy and I know it” in one of their commercials. It’s funny and cute, but I was taken aback when I heard my 7-yr-old singing it. In our house, the ‘s-word’ is shut up. I am trying to teach them proper language and expression, but it really is difficult these days.

[dfwgator]

Back in the day, occasionally on the hard rock FM station you would hear an S-Bomb or F-Bomb in a song, but nowadays it’s the Top 40 stuff that’s full of F-bombs and S-bombs, even in the titles themselves.

[Maceman]

As the parent of a 13-year-old girl who loves LMFAO and Nikki Minaj and all the other appalling purveyors of modern “culture,” I can tell you that it has been disturbing and eye-opening.

I asked her how many of her 7th grade female classmates have already lost their virginity, and she counted nine (wouldn’t give names though). I asked her how many are cutting and doing drugs, and the number was about the same. I asked her to describe what a Venn diagram would look like in terms of the intersection of kids who had lost their virginity, were doing drugs, and were cutting — and to my surprise, it wasn’t just the same nine girls doing all three things.

Nowadays, kids can go on to a social networking website called omegle.com, where you can “talk to strangers.” The kids can either do online text or video chat. I went on the site for five minutes just to see what it was about. I had my camera on, but blocked, so I couldn’t be seen. But I can tell you what I saw, which is that at least half the “strangers” are boys in their teens and twenties who masturbating to the camera, and also there were couples actively having sex.

A 13-year-old girl logged on to omegle will see more penises in five minutes than most women in my own peer group (I’m in my early 60s) have seen in their whole lives. And there is no practical way to stop kids from visiting these kinds of sites if they want to, since they all have access to computers, ipods and smart phones. And even if you want to deprive your kid of such gadgets, which is completely impractical nowadays, they still can have access through their friends’ gadgets.

Two nights ago, I was in the Jamaica Plain neighborhood in Boston, and stopped at a red light was a car with its windows rolled down blasting a hip-hop “song” at a volume that could be heard throughout the neighborhood. The “lyric” was a repetitive phrase: “Where my bitches at?”

I’m starting to feel like Michael Douglas in that movie “Falling Down.”

The only consolation is that kids today — even good kids — are so inundated with graphic and explicit sexuality that you don’t have to mince words with them when it comes to explaining values and talking frankly with them about lifestyles, choices and consequences.

[MrB]

What one generation tolerates, the next considers the acceptable.

[dfwgator]

“If you tolerate this, your children will be next.”

[Responsibility2nd]

I’m starting to feel like Michael Douglas in that movie “Falling Down.”

I love that movie. It speaks to me. I often say that I grew up in a country very far away from the one I'm now living in. Has there ever been a society that has undergone such a drastic change in only 2 generations?

[montag813]

And there is no practical way to stop kids from visiting these kinds of sites if they want to, since they all have access to computers, ipods and smart phones. And even if you want to deprive your kid of such gadgets, which is completely impractical nowadays, they still can have access through their friends’ gadgets.

Religious school from an early age perhaps.

[Maceman]

Religious school from an early age perhaps.

You mean a 365-day a year religious boarding school with restricted Internet access? Maybe. But I don't imagine there are too many of those.

The fact is, if your kid has friends, there's nothing you can do to stop their exposure to this filth. All you can do is acknowledge that it exists, and do what you can to teach your kids how to handle it and make good decisions.

Outside of locking your teenagers in the basement without a computer, or sending them to a year-round convent, the fact is that kids need to have electronic devices for many reasons -- to access school websites, collaborate on school projects, and to enable parents to keep in touch with them when they are out of your sight.

What I'm finding is that this stuff is so pervasive that it actually seems to be a turn-off to my daughter and her friends. How many boys does a 13-year-old girl have to see jerking off online before she starts having the classical middle-school girl reaction:

[wagglebee]

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[a fool in paradise]

Dubstep is two bumps of cocaine and 3 other pills away from music. dumpdumpdumpdumpdumpdumpskreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeedumpdumpdumpdumpdumpdumpdumpdumpdumpdumpskeeeeeeeeewawawawawawawawawaaaaaawawawaaaaaaaawaaaadumpdumpdumpdumpskreeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

And people get pissed off when I say that disco was about being seen, having anonymous sex, and doing cocaine and qualudes.