To: StarCMC; Kathy in Alaska; Bethbg79; EsmeraldaA; MoJo2001; Brad's Gramma; laurenmarlowe; ...
A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Montana when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man in a Brioni� suit, Gucci� shoes, RayBan� sunglasses and YSL� tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?" Bud looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?" The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell� notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3� cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page onthe Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop� and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany ... Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot� that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL� database through an ODBC connected Excel� spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry� and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet� printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves." "That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car. Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?" The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?" "You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud. "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?" "No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep. Now give me back my dog!
23 posted on
02/16/2012 7:04:43 PM PST by
SandRat
(Duty - Honor - Country! What else needs said?)
To: SandRat
Good one, Sandy!
Nos genuflectitur ad non princeps sed Princeps pacem!
Listen, O isles, unto me; and hearken, ye people, from far; The LORD hath called me from the womb; from the bowels of my mother hath he made mention of my name. (Isaiah 49:1 KJV)
27 posted on
02/16/2012 7:26:22 PM PST by
ConorMacNessa
(HM/2 USN, 3/5 Marines RVN 1969 - St. Michael the Archangel defend us in Battle!)
To: SandRat
ROFL!! Good one, Sandy! :)
Hope you’re doing well!
36 posted on
02/16/2012 8:00:07 PM PST by
luvie
(Never surrender...don't give up. We WILL take our country back, one vote at a time!)
To: SandRat
Good evening, Sand...((HUGS))
Love it....we’re from the government and we’re here to help you. Yea, right!!
52 posted on
02/16/2012 9:36:24 PM PST by
Kathy in Alaska
((~ RIP Brian...heaven's gain...the Coast Guard lost a good one.~))
To: SandRat
54 posted on
02/16/2012 9:41:15 PM PST by
unkus
(Silence Is Consent)
To: SandRat
Good morning, SR ((HUGS))
LOL, good joke
HAPPY FRIDAY!
80 posted on
02/17/2012 4:06:31 AM PST by
beachn4fun
(You are either an American - or not!)
To: SandRat
Thanks for the morning chuckle.
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