Posted on 12/20/2011 4:20:21 AM PST by sauropod
Yes, this is an actual article...
The end of December is notoriously expensive for companies, literally-because everyone who has any room left in their budget is spending it on whatever they can find, seeing that the money is burning a hole in their pockets-but figuratively, as well-because it's a time when company morale can plummet if you're not watching carefully. This post addresses the figurative cost of Christmas. Here are three things that every business owner should be prepared to handle during the holidays.
1. The Christmas Caste System
People who are higher up in the organization usually take time off. First of all, they can afford to go on fun trips at the most expensive travel times of the year. Second, they are not hourly, so they won't miss the paycheck. Lower-level workers, however, are less likely to have paid vacation days and, therefore, less likely to take time off, since they need to earn the money. This means some offices are full of low-level workers acutely aware of the fact that higher-level workers are kicking back.
The best way to combat the effects of this cultural division is to help lower-level people find the hidden benefits to working during holidays. One benefit is that if a big job comes in, people who don't usually get the high-profile work will be able to take it because they're the only ones around.
2. The Christmas party trysts
The statistics surrounding office Christmas parties are incredible. More than 40 percent of all men have said they had a romantic exchange with someone at an office Christmas party. This statistic is consistent with a wide range of other statistics. For example, Trojan condoms found that most men would be willing to have sex with a co-worker during the party if the opportunity presented itself. The good news is that one fourth of the relationships that begin at an office Christmas party end in marriage. The bad news is that most office relationships don't end in marriage but rather in a mess that derails productivity for months.
3. Christmas shuns diversity
What about skipping the Christmas cheer altogether? Here's some logic for you. Diversity increases productivity at most companies. In order to gain the benefits of diversity, though, the company must encourage diverse ways of life. Christmas is a religious holiday. Christmas at the office is bad for diversity. To have Christmas dominate the office for a month is to announce to people that if you don't celebrate Christmas you are not part of the team. It's not said explicitly, but it's implicit. Christmas is bad for diversity in the workplace.
And, before you start defending yourself, calling your party a holiday party is not a solution; in fact it's totally annoying to people who don't celebrate Christmas. And here are five other things that people say at work about Christmas that are totally annoying.
Always asserted, never supported.
Just...Holy...Crap. They used Trojan Condoms as a polling source?
People who are higher up in the organization usually take time off.....RHIP.
Perhaps the author didn't get the memo, but our modern culture is just about done purging the remaining religious elements from the day. You're not supposed to even acknowledge the existence of the religious elements in public any more.
Always asserted, never supported.
We had a senior employee ask a diversity "trainer" to put a dollar figure on that...hehehe. The trainer didn't have a good day that day.
“Guilty. Thats how I met my wife”.
I guess the mistletoe worked for you!
One benefit is that if a big job comes in, people who don't usually get the high-profile work will be able to take it because they're the only ones around.
Because we all know that off-the-radar "big jobs" just slink right in the door without the knowledge or aid of sales, marketing or management. And neither the client nor the folks who shepherded that "big job" sure as heck don't care if the job is handled by senior staff or the Untouchable contract labor that was brought on last week.
This article reminds of of another article in cracked.com where Hollywood manages to have a real skewed idea of what the average workplace looks like. I'm guessing Penelope drinks from that same well of "knowledge".
>>I tried commenting, but found out that one can only comment if one has an American Express card that is registered with them. <<
Isn’t that part of Number 1?
1. The Christmas Caste System
(you have no AMEX, you can’t post)
Sure, they get more time, but it’s also less disruptive for them to take it.
Are you going to pay them "high-profile" money for doing the "high-profile" work while the "high-profile" people are away on vacation?
If not, this is just another demoralizer.
>>I actually liked having the senior management away from the office - we got a lot more done, there was a more casual atmosphere and we did real planning.<<
Isn’t that the truth!
I worked in a company that was ruled by the owner. This guy cycled manic to depressed and back 10 times a day.
When he was gone for Christmas, the company boomed and we were all happy. All our techs did the jobs that he shunned and we made googoobs of money. We brought in cookies and pizza, worked through lunch and were happy.
Apparently the author is cranky and gullible.
1. There may be (and in fact often are) benefits to working your normal hours while the boss is off in some beautiful, exotic and warm vacation spot instead of up your lower GI. I just don’t necessarily want to get lectured about them by the boss.
2. The Christmas-party tryst, although it does occasionally happen, is and has always been a tradition more honored in the hope or the chase than the capture.
3. If you don’t celebrate Christmas as one of the faithful, that’s not a reason that you and I can’t work, play and have fun together. Y’all come. It’ll be fun. You can probably even get me to join in your festivities, too. If you’re annoyed by celebrating Christmas, and especially if you’re annoying about celebrating it, you are a bore and a boor, and I’d probably rather not work with you, over you, or (God forbid) under you.
Sounds like a truly awful person . . .
Watch for a rebuttal from Donald Trunk.
I have found that not to be true, in fact, in my experience, it’s just the same 4 or 5 slutty women and the same 4 or 5 man-whore guys just trading each other off each year.
Yep. If 40% say they’ve had a Christmas party fling I’d bet 35% are lying.
Bull crap.
"Diversity", and all that it stands for, has got to be one of the most divisive concepts ever devised by those evil liberal bastards to balkanize Americans into little enclaves of color and ethnicity.
Diversity is utter pap.
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