Posted on 11/19/2011 5:02:31 AM PST by IbJensen
Note: This article originally appeared in Columbia magazine, the magazine of the Knights of Columbus, and is reprinted here with permission
November 18, 2011 (LifeSiteNews.com) - In a conversation with a priest in my diocese, I shared my spiritual director’s report that every other confession he hears from men involves the sin of pornography. The pastor’s response was shocking: “Oh, it’s much worse than that!” Since then, this sad reality has been confirmed by many others: The sin of pornography is overwhelming Catholic men.
Pornography is now more popular than baseball. In fact, it has become America’s pastime, and we are awash in it. Porn is on our computers, our smartphones, and our cable or satellite TV. It’s common in our hotels and even in many retail stores and gas stations. For many men — and, increasingly, women — it is part of their daily lives.
Yet, Catholic teaching on the subject is clear. Use of pornography is a “grave offense.” The Catechism of the Catholic Church states, “Pornography … offends against chastity because it perverts the conjugal act, the intimate giving of spouses to each other. It does grave injury to the dignity of its participants (actors, vendors, the public), since each one becomes an object of base pleasure and illicit profit for others” (2354).
In Life of Christ, Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen wrote, “The penalty of those who live too close to the flesh is to never understand the spiritual.” Hardcore pornography on the Internet offers an ocean of perversion. It takes the mind where it should never go, loosening its moral moorings and leaving it adrift in a treacherous sea of sin. That is the fate of those who give themselves over to pornography: They find themselves alone with their images and an insatiable appetite for more.
While astounding to many, users of pornography eventually put religion, marriage, family, work and friendships secondary to their desire for pornography. They may want to change, to go back to life as it was before porn, but most will return and descend further. Dr. Mary Anne Layden, director of the University of Pennsylvania’s Sexual Trauma and Psychopathology Program at the Center for Cognitive Therapy, likens pornography to crack cocaine. In a testimony to the U.S. Senate in November 2004, she noted, “This material is potent, addictive and permanently implanted in the brain.”
Sadly, for the regular consumer of pornography, confession and contrition are normally not sufficient to break from pornography because, like drug abuse, pornography is not just a bad habit — it is often an addiction.
A DESIRE THAT DOES NOT SATISFY
Addiction to pornography is now commonplace among adults and is even a growing problem for children and teenagers. Few who are addicted will get help, and the consequences can be lifelong and severe.
Pornography’s addictive strength is a result of long-term, sometimes lifelong, neuroplastic changes in the brain. Psychiatrist Norman Doidge, author of the best-selling book The Brain That Changes Itself (Penguin, 2007), writes, “Pornography, by offering an endless harem of sexual objects, hyperactivates the appetitive system. Porn viewers develop new maps in their brains, based on the photos and videos they see. Because it is a use-it-or-lose-it brain, when we develop a map area, we long to keep it activated. Just as our muscles become impatient for exercise if we’ve been sitting all day, so too do our senses hunger to be stimulated” (108).
With pornography, in other words, our brain’s pleasure system that excites our desires is activated, but there is no real satisfaction. This explains why users can spend endless hours searching for pornography on the Internet.
Doidge further notes that porn viewers develop tolerances so that they need higher and higher levels of stimulation. Thus, they often move to harder, more deviant pornography. More than a decade ago, Margaret A. Healy, adjunct professor at Fordham University School of Law, and Muireann O’Brian, former head of End Child Pornography, Prostitution and Trafficking (ECPAT), observed a link between adult and child pornography. Since that time, scores of current and former law enforcement authorities have noted that many adult porn consumers will eventually move to child pornography, even if they are not pedophiles and had no interest is such material at first. These findings account, in part, for the prevalence of child pornography in the world today.
Viewing porn changes the user’s attitude toward sex, his or her spouse and society. He or she uses sexual fantasies to get aroused, tries to get partners to act out pornographic scenes, is more likely to engage in sexual harassment and sexual aggression, and views sex as a casual, non-intimate, recreational privilege. Laydon and other clinical psychologists have reported that, ironically, erectile dysfunction is commonly associated with constant porn use among men. One reason for this is that the constant search for sexual images and often-accompanying masturbation lead to dissatisfaction with one’s spouse. After all, a man’s wife cannot possibly maintain an image that competes with the women in the fantasy world of pornographic videos and images. The regular porn consumer sets himself up for disappointment and the almost-certain disintegration of his marriage.
Marital love is meant to be a total giving of oneself to a lifelong, faithful partner. It is a trusting, selfless giving. By contrast, pornographic sex is selfish, demeaning and mechanical. In his catechesis on the theology of the body, Pope John Paul II emphasized that there is a “moral goodness” in marriage, which is faithfulness. That goodness can be adequately achieved only in the exclusive relationship of both parties. Too many people miss out on that unique goodness of marriage and settle for the temporary, perverted and unfulfilling excitement of pornography.
PROTECTING OUR CHILDREN
A father has a duty to keep his children from pornography and a sacred obligation to set an example of purity for his family. What greater authority could a father have about the harms of pornography than the words of Christ?: “But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Mt 5:28).
If you have become a porn consumer, ask yourself this: Am I the same man who professed fidelity to my wife on my wedding day? Fidelity cannot be maintained if one consumes pornography. Wives of porn consumers feel as though their husbands are committing adultery. Affairs of the mind are every bit as destructive as affairs of the heart.
Divorce lawyers report a high correspondence between pornography consumption and divorces. One 2004 study in Social Science Quarterly titled “Adult Social Bonds and Use of Internet Pornography” revealed that persons having an extramarital affair were more than three times more likely to have accessed Internet porn than those who did not have affairs. Further, those ever having engaged in paid sex were 3.7 times more apt to be using Internet porn than those who had not.
If you have a porn habit, your children may follow. Many pornography addicts report that their first exposure to porn was the discovery of their parent’s porn collection, which started them on a life of sexual confusion and exploitation. A 2006 survey of the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children revealed that 79 percent of youth gain unwanted exposure to pornography in the home.
To a child, pornography normalizes sexual harm, according to Dr. Sharon Cooper, a pediatrician at the University of North Carolina. “Research has shown that the prefrontal cortex — the home of good judgment, common sense, impulse control and emotions — is not completely mature until children are 20-22 years of age,” she explained. The introduction of pornography to the brain’s prefrontal cortex is therefore devastating to key areas of a child’s development and may be life-altering. “When a child sees adult pornography … their brains will convince them that they are actually experiencing what they are seeing,” Cooper added. In other words, what a child sees in porn is what they believe is reality.
Some children will actually emulate what they see in pornography and experiment on siblings, relatives and friends. Many studies show that children exposed to pornography initiate sexual activity at an earlier age, have more sex partners, and have multiple partners in a short period of time. A 2001 study in the journal Pediatrics also found that teenage girls exposed to pornographic movies have sex more frequently and have a strong desire to become pregnant.
THERE IS HELP AND HOPE
Thankfully, there are organizations, counselors and resources that provide hope for those suffering from the destructive effects of pornography on children, marriages, relationships and society. Many who have been addicted — adults and children alike — have been helped through counseling or online exercises offered by recovery services.
It is critical, however, that each person and each family does a reality check. Ask yourselves whether you and your family are protected from the scourge of pornography. Do you have adequate parental control or filtering software on your home computer? Is the computer in an open area of the home? If you have children, have you talked to them about the spiritual and social cost of pornography? Do you have premium cable or satellite channels on your TV that offer pornography as regular fare?
If you are viewing pornography or indecent material, you are harming your very soul and perhaps those of your children and your spouse. The biblical warning is severe: “If your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out” (Mk 9:47). At a minimum, make sure that your computer both at home and in the office is filtered and that you have an “accountability partner” — perhaps your wife or a good friend — who has access to your computer and the sites you visit. Finally, get involved in the war on pornography. It is worth the fight for you, your family and your nation.
1Ti 3:2 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach;
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Tts 1:5 For this cause left I thee in Crete, that thou shouldest set in order the things that are wanting, and ordain elders in every city, as I had appointed thee:
Tts 1:6 If any be blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children not accused of riot or unruly.
Tts 1:7 For a bishop must be blameless, as the steward of God; not selfwilled, not soon angry, not given to wine, no striker, not given to filthy lucre; ........
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1Cr 7:1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: [It is] good for a man not to touch a woman.
1Cr 7:2 Nevertheless, [to avoid] fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
1Cr 7:3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
1Cr 7:4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
1Cr 7:5 Defraud ye not one the other, except [it be] with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
1Cr 7:6 But I speak this by permission, [and] not of commandment.
1Cr 7:7 For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.
1Cr 7:8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.
1Cr 7:9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
I (and the Church too) know all of those verses. And none of them prevent the Church from deciding on a Church discipline.
My duty is my pleasure; thank you.
Very well said, Bellflower! And that is exactly why I started and have continued (now with wagglebee’s help for some time) the Moral Absolutes ping list. Just to do my duty.
Self control is the heart of the Christian walk and being flippant or dismissive about it scarcely helps. It may soon no longer be any more possible to control “society” than it was for the first century church to do so.
It might just bring the self righteous, non-church goers that will return to God and truly disdain the tsunami of porn that washes over our once polite society.
The Muslims believe in their Koran and kill us. They’d have a tougher time in we believed in our Bible or Torah, especially the part about an eye for an eye!
No, you pointed out a negative correlation between a single type of sex crime and porn.
http://www.rainn.org/get-information/statistics/frequency-of-sexual-assault
I wonder if he’s even talking about stuff that is “legally” called porn. Gratuitous cheesecake is so easy to get an eyeful of today. Just go to the mall.
Perhaps not even legally, I have seen cases of guys who didn’t even have to pay or buy magazines for the sake of getting it, just look at women who are naked via photos online.
I do agree with your general point, however, what is “porn” varies from person to person, but the only way to tell is if the person has to spend rediculous amounts of time on it, or if the guy has to do some rediculous concealment of what he is doing, or if the guy can’t keep his thoughts discrete (a.k.a. keep his fantasies totally in his head)
There’s no practical way, in my experience, that we can legally quantify porn, or the fact that people can be addicted to it, however, we can say that if someone can’t go a day without something, or is willing to miss out on work, family activities, or spend hours upon something, whatever it is, be it video games, naked pictures of pretty women or sex acts, or simply even eating oneself sick with cheesecake, it’s safe enough to call it an addiction.
In fact, for clinical reference, you can look up the 12-step program and their qualifiers for better detail of what it takes to clinically diagnose someone as being addicted to something.
http://www.12step.com/12stepprograms.html
I will admit, that the 12-step program list of addictions is huge, and probably doesn’t even cover them all. However, perhaps the worst addictions are those where you are addicted to something that has a good and a bad use or overuse, such as those relating to porn, sex, or food, simply because if one were trying to do any of those things the correct way, there is the temptation to relapse, or go back into the excessive drive the person use to possess.
Wow, if that’s porn for 1953, then that is innocent in comparison to what goes around nowadays, even including the cover of the magazine. What I would also say is that people can easily get what constitutes porn for free, through electronic means.
What the Church should do is allow their priests to marry. This would go a long way to solving a lot of their problems.
You can resign from priestly office or the office of being a nun if you wish, after that resignation, you can marry to your hearts’ delight. It’s also pretty clear from how I read the Bible that Jesus didn’t marry in his life either.
Additionally, marriage doesn’t solve lust, including lust for women to whom your wife doesn’t fit the form or age, nor does marriage alone solve lusts a person can have for someone of the same gender. The Blood of Christ, however, can ultimately cleanse one of such urges. In fact, part of Catholic policy for rehabilitating people who have had issues either with porn, sexual promiscuity, or homosexuality is that such people not enter marriage while such behaviors and/or urges present a serious struggle for them. Bringing such unsolved inclinations into a marriage is often a recipe for disaster.
Basing your rules on something that goes against biology makes zero sense.
Biology is extremely complex and relative, again, people who have same-gender attraction, have an inclination that is incredibly ingrained into their mind and body, so for their biology, whether developed from their nurture or their nature, it is against them to marry a wife, however, whether or not someone ultimately overcomes such inclinations, it is encouraged that such a person find ways to be of service to others in selfless, non-sexual means, instead of performing unhealthy homosexual behaviors.
Additionally, what’s natural even to a human being shouldn’t be without serious restraint. In all honesty, I can feel a crush on just about any girl I see who looks pretty to my eye, however, I can choose not to feed lusts upon that woman after I see her with a glance. My nature tells me one thing, however, it is up to me to excercise constraint, married or not.
Again, there is the option to resign if you honestly aren’t interested in being a priest, monk, or nun, anymore, similar to the decision made by Maria in the sound of music, ultimately marrying George Ludwig von Trapp.
Again, if you are not to the task of becoming a priest or nun, you don’t have to.
Yes, I’m wondering what his definition of “porn” is.
I can’t define porn uniformly for all people, because I could guarantee you that every addict had a completely different kind of taste in terms of what he lusted after. However, you can define addiction, through the definition as given in the 12-step program:
A person cannot seem to go for a period of say, a single day, without the use of a substance. They might even reflexively perform the action or use the substance as a routine, such as first thing in the morning.
A person cannot simply interrupt the completion of his use of the substance for the sake of more immediate or important matters such as work, family, chores, etc. The person feels a determination to continue working and continuing his or her euphoria from the sensations associated with the substance. Examples include getting high from a drug, or remaining in a state of prolonged sexual arousal from use of sexual imagery, or sexual acts, or in the case of food, involving keeping the taste of a food consumed in one’s body, such as flour, sugar, candy, and who knows how many other kinds of food.
A person is emotionally and mentally dependent on the activity or substance, they do not feel fulfilled when they spend time without it.
In either situation, the person has an appetite for an activity or for a substance, because it somehow makes them feel pleasure. They feel that they are going without it, they even almost subconsciously use or do it as a reflex.
More details can be found on the outlines for various 12-step programs, and believe me the list is long, and perhaps in no way complete for all the classifiable addictions which can be found out there.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twelve-Step_Program
one of the things I often recommend is to look at the description of the first six steps, and then replace alcohol with some activity or some substance you use on a daily basis, and see if it matches that description. In fact, that outline is pretty much how I came to admit I needed serious help on some matters myself.
I will say as well, that porn, or at least indulging in certain materials to feel sexually aroused is incredibly varied to the point where even all I can say is a general definition: if you are using something in media, just to make yourself feel sexual pleasure, that media is porn to you, and you are messing around with how your body and mind function.
Yes, I am a former user myself, and glad to be sober, after plenty a struggle.
Pray tell, does the author of the study have an explanation for the existence of rape before today’s easy availability of porn? Correlation is not causation. It’s more likely that somebody whose sex life is all screwed up will seek out porn. Perhaps porn provides some satisfaction that reduces the desire to rape real women.
I would say that porn is far from being the sole factor here. I would also argue that parental example could easily play somewhat of a role as well. For instance, let’s say you were a young boy, raised by a single mother, who had no real effective father figure in your life, save perhaps a gang leader, do you think that would have some effect in your development of a moral instinct not to rape? Let’s say you were a person whose mind was messed up by being high and stimulated by a mind-altering drug, do you think you would be thinking all so straight about the situation you were in, or that your standards regarding not committing rape? Or let’s say you were a person who felt megalomaniacal. All I can say is that the list goes on extensively of factors that may play into the problem. I do, however,believe a lack of proper father figures, or issues of mental health, are also part of the problem as well.
I for one, believe porn will lead its followers to the eternal pit of fire.
“Try putting out the fire in just your own yard in the midst of a forest fire and find out how far that gets you. If you don’t think it is that serious you do not realize the attack to very moral fiber of our society. Children in particular are paying the high price with sexual molestation and horrible murders. If people just stopped and thought about what the “sexual revolution” has done to society and individuals therein we would not, could not put up with it.”
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Very well said. I often see retorts like; “Don’t like porn? Don’t watch it”, and other similar type nonesense. What you said is a clear example of why morality matters. And that if you don’t believe morality has a place in our political and legal systems, then you aren’t paying attention.
Morality has always been an integral part of our legal and political culture. From the Constutuion onward. Problem is.... Now we have those whose moral values are sick and depraved calling the shots.
Great response. Very thoughtful and informed.
Count it a blessing - sounds likes God has been merciful to you...
There is another problem with pornography.
Many women are attracted to romance novels, featuring a really buff man who is primarily interested in sharing his feelings and exploring the relationships. He’s not a real man but a man with the mind of a woman.
Men stare at women with gorgeous, sexy bods but they are only interested in unrestrained sex. They want a girl with a man’s mind, with the mind of their drinking buddies.
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