Why do young women drink themselves to oblivion every night across Britain?

Daily Mail Online ^ | 11-09-10 | Laura Powell

[Lazlo in PA]

Midnight on St Mary Street in Cardiff and everything is exactly as expected. Half a dozen young women slump in a gutter, men urinate outside a health-food shop and, as hordes stagger between nightclubs, someone lifts up a blow-up doll with a sex toy protruding out of it.

The street smells of urine and lager, police struggle to break up a fight outside the Walkabout bar and a paramedic bundles a comatose girl on to a wheelchair. But it's a quiet night for 20-year-old Naomi Jenkins. She has 'only' drunk three shots of peach schnapps, cider and three shots of Jagermeister (during a drinking game called I Have Never) and still feels 'a bit sober'. Her friend Hannah Freeman, 19, was punched in a fight and stumbles about swearing and searching for a bathroom.

'We only do embarrassing things when we're really drunk,' Naomi says. 'I kiss random men in the street and Hannah has had sex behind a chicken coop.' She screams with laughter as Hannah lurches unsteadily in the stairwell of Charleston Bar and Grill on Caroline Street (known locally as Chip Alley) and unashamedly urinates in front of us.

[Slings and Arrows]

Isn’t that the lead singer of The Pogues?

[Slings and Arrows]

In fairness, Hogarth wasn't against drinking - just drinking gin. This was the compainion print to "Gin Lane":

[Yardstick]

Easily one of the interweb’s top 10 best images.

[RandallFlagg]

Somehow...

I KNEW you’d be on this thread.

I hope you’re doing well, Laz.

[Slings and Arrows]

You’re a young woman?

[Lazlo in PA]

On the bright side, they don't try to freep before blacking out.

Hilarious. Busted out laughing at that.

[Slings and Arrows]

ETOH + FR = LULZ

[decal]

I figgered it was just to dull the pain from the rotten teeth.

Maybe the Salvation Army is the answer...

___________________

There was a time in my life I was lying in the gutter, I was all covered with beer
I had peanuts in my eyebrows, I knew the end was near.
But along came the Salvation Army - they saved me from the hearse
Now everybody, everybody bust a gut, and sing the second verse.

Salvation Army, Salvation Army, put a nickel on the drum, save another drunken bum;
Salvation Army, Salvation Army, put a nickel on the drum and you'll be saved.
Hallelujah!
Hallelujah!

There was a time in my life when I used to drink one quart of booze a day.
There was a time in my life when I smoked 4 packs of cigarettes a day.
And there was a time in my life when I used to lie in the streets with men (Thank you, brothers!).
But along came the Salvation Army

Now I no longer drink a quart of booze a day
And I no longer smoke and cough.
And I no longer lie in the streets with men (Sorry, brothers!)
All I do is stand here all day and BEAT THIS STUPID DRUM!

Salvation Army, Salvation Army, put a nickel on the drum, save another drunken bum;
Salvation Army, Salvation Army, put a nickel on the drum and you'll be saved.

[Lazlo in PA]

Maybe the Salvation Army is the answer...

Didn't you hear? No Salvation Army in Briton. They have the Muslim Army. Get caught drinking, you get stoned to death. And not stoned in a good way.

[ApplegateRanch]

BOTH of those threads are enough to drive one to drink!

[Slings and Arrows]

Don’t forget to tip your driver.

[ApplegateRanch]

Tip him? With or without tipping the car, too?

[<1/1,000,000th%]

Probably because there are 3 million single parents trying to raise kids.

[Darksheare]

Ah, but America has this stuff to drink as well:

“WARNING - Not to be taken internally!” - Slings and Arrows

In 12 cup drip percolator pot, fill to 6 cup mark with water.
In filter, put 6 heaping scoops of coffee.
Medium roast works best, just make sure it’s a robust blend.
Found a maxwellhouse ‘medium roast’ that was rather anemic.
Put pinch of salt in filter, about as much as it would take to cover the surface of a dime with one even layer.
This keeps the coffee from tasting burned too quickly, it doesn’t age well brewed this way.

Brew, recirculate if need be, usually not.
Add sugar and dairy creamer.
Creamora and coffeemate are not recommended unless you like the heart racing that Ranger Pudding gives.
That, and the nondairy creamer will give you both a headache and a buzz with the coffee.

I usually put about 8 spoons of sugar in this stuff, it ends up being like Russian Kava, thick and sweet with that bitter overtone to it.

Oh, and I am NOT responsible for seeming demonic possession of the coffeepot, or the coffeepot ending up acting as if it has been damaged.

Be sure NOT to add creamora or coffeemate to the brew, unless you LIKE ranger pudding style heart racing.
When I brew that stuff for myself, I recirculate the stuff to brew a second time, but that’s me for my own personal enjoyment, and it may wreck the coffeepot.
Don’t forget the salt, it’s important to the finished brew.

[TheOldLady]

I shot a duck in my underwear once.

Goodness! I hope that you missed the family jewels.

[Tijeras_Slim]

Yep, and I’m amazed he’s still alive at this point

[Lizavetta]

I think Iceland even beats them in that category. At least they do in the illegitimacy stats. I seem to remember it was around 60 percent.

[central_va]

I’m thinking London on my next vacation....

[Slings and Arrows]

Must’ve gotten a transfusion from Keith Richards.

[Tijeras_Slim]

Well, when he finally goes, embalming him will be the easiest job ever.