Posted on 05/28/2011 10:29:22 PM PDT by raccoonradio
Here is what Mitt Romney should say at his official announcement in New Hampshire on Thursday:
Ive been running for president for almost 20 years now, but this time Ive got a real shot, and I can sum up my edge in one word. Boring.
Thats what I am, boring. Im Dudley Do-Right, a straight arrow. Im not Arnold Schwarzenegger or John Edwards, if you follow me. This year, boring is good.
The White House desperately wants a nutty Republican. Im as bland as my wifes chili that youve been chowing down on.
Forget Osama, Obama cant be re-elected on his record. Nine percent unemployment, four-dollar gas, a real inflation rate of over 8 percent. You know the grisly details, now let me give you a political math lesson.
In 2008, John McCain got 173 electoral votes. After the 2010 census, the McCain states now have 190 electoral votes. Now add three states Barry carried last time that hell never win in 2012 North Carolina, Virginia and Indiana. That puts us up around 220 of the 270 electoral votes that we need to win.
You tell me, how many of the following big states can Obama carry again Ohio, Michigan (one of my five home states), Florida and Pennsylvania, home of the bitter clingers, as the president so condescendingly described its voters in 2008.
I know what youre thinking Romneycare. Hey, nobodys perfect, right? Romneycare is a Hobsons choice deal for me either I stand by it and Im a liberal and an idiot, or I repudiate it and Im flip-flopping again.
Ive made my choice. Im in recovery. Ive joined Flip-Floppers Anonymous. One day at a time.
Whod be a better candidate than me? Sarah Palin is running for the same reason as Donald Trump to burnish her media brand. Theres a reason shes still a Fox News employee Roger Ailes knows this weekend bus trip is just a ratings stunt.
Then theres Rick Santorum. He lost his Senate seat to a weak-sister Democrat by 18 points.
Michele Bachmann? This is the woman who thinks the battles of Concord and Lexington were fought in New Hampshire. Now shes going to announce her candidacy in her birthplace Waterloo, Iowa. Waterloo you cant make this stuff up.
Obama is afraid of boring old me. Why do you think the DNC wanted to change the Massachusetts primary date from March 6? They couldnt figure out that, number one, this fight is going to be over long before March 6, and number two, I may have more problems in Massachusetts than anywhere else. I mean, if everybody whos been fined under Romneycare goes out to vote . . .
Hey, help yourself to some more of Anns chili.
Id like to get rid of Newt before the debates start. I dont do well against glib. Did you know he made a global-warming ad with Nancy Pelosi? And have you heard that Tim Pawlenty, who may be even more boring than me, used to support cap-and-trade?
I may be bland, but Im also trying to be one of the boys. Have you noticed how Ive pretty much stopped wearing neckties? And Im trying to be a sports fan too, just like John Q. Sixpack.
How bout dem Broonz? (Bruins)
Sunday column ping (see above)
FUMR!
Beat me to it
Yeah! What you said.
_______________________
Sunday smiles:
Mother cat hugs baby kitten (Absolutely adorable):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vw4KVoEVcr0&feature=player_embedded
(Viral on YouTube, made it to Good Morning America)
****
Phoebe Allen, the hummingbird, presently hatching her fifth clutch:
(Live cam)
pronounced “fumer”?
Hummingbirds do it in pitch darkness?
Ive been running for president for almost 20 years now
__________________________________________
Make that 50 years
Romney is in his mid 60s
Daddy started grooming Mitty from the time he was a little boy
When George Romney walked out of the 1964 coonvention in a huff because he only got 40 votes to Goldwaters 800, Mitty was there and walked out too
Mitty was well saturated in entitlement election alredy by then
When george purposely helped Johnson and worked against Goldwater, encouraging other s to torpedo him too, teenage Mitty was right there stomping on the “N lovin” Goldwater copying George, beinbg Daddy’s little man
Geoge was one of the betraying Republican “moderates” that Ronald Reagan angerily commented on from Florida after the defeat to Johnson
No Mitty was the handsome son that George pinned his hopes on when his own political star was fading
To keep the young future president safe and alive and his manicured hands clean George concocted a fanisinating story about Vietnam after a visit as Gov of MI and helped Mitty dodge the draft twice by being on the draft board himself due to his office of governor
Once little Mitty went to Paris for 2 1/32 years living in a mansion and driving a citroen while ledss privileged boys slogged and lived and died in the jungles of Vietnam
When Mitt caused an accident in his Citroen and a woman was killed Georfe was on the next plane to arrange for the other driver to be blamed and to confess to the responsibility
The true story has never come out about the accident
One murky part is if George insisted the other driver a French national was at fault, why was he never proscecuted for the death of the American woman, the wife of a mormon missionary president ???
after Mitty came back to the US he got another low draft number he got but this time he had to go to college plus keep his coiffure in place so off he went dodging the draft again while more less important boys slogged and lived and died in the jungles of Vietnam
Now you see why his crocidile tears claim in 2008 to have wanted to pick up a gun and fought in Vietnam is so disengenuous and disgusting
Williard Mitt Romney only knows politics and running for office
From his unsuccessful run against Teddy for US Senate in 1994 where he ran left of Teddy and fought with him over which one of them was the most pro-abortion
to his unsucessful run in the GOP primary in 2008 where he was all over the map and furiously scrubbing his liberal record
Williard Mitt Romney doesnt know anything else and is not much good at that or anything else
He has never started his own company and actually PRODUCED anything
In the real world outside of Mitty’s fantisies he is not much good for anything and has little expertise to be POTUS
Why doesnt he run for a state office in CA while he is there ???
Being the Gov of MASS does not look good on a resume when you want to be the nominee for Conservatives
Saving the Olympics means tiddly when you want to preserve a country
I hope Howie isn’t pimping Slick Willard’s candidacy, comedically or seriously.
Romney would be one of the ways for the GOP to lose. They seem to be trying.
Howie is Mitt’s lapdog, because Howie is a full-blown RINO
If they nominate Romney, the Republicans take ObamaCare off the board as an issue.
Look at what the two of them have wrought:
I really don’t give a flying Fuggetaboutit what Romney has to say.
He won’t be getting my vote.
Of course I would bet New Hampshire will give him their stamp of approval. One more reason we should have all primary’s on the same day.
A good way to identify RINOS now is the GOP’sters who start calling Tax Hike...Revenue enhancement.
“Is Carr for Romney?”
Good question. Because 2 weeks ago Howie was calling Mitt’s political career dead, due to RomneyCare.
Howie has mentioned, several times, that Milt (or his son, Snot Brown) won’t go on his show; they’re “unavailable”.
They have been friends in the past. What this column is about, unless it’s a gag, I don’t know. Is it April1?
Hmmm...
Carr’s a humorist as well as a columnist. His column is about giving us something to grin at while not necessarily endorsing anyone.
Never in my lifetime would I vote for Mitt Romney. Howie Carr just lowered himself in my eyes. This garbage is pure drivel. But, he did drop a small nugget of the true Team Romney. Notice the little slap at Pawlenty (and I’m not overwhelmed by that milquetoast)? They are as nasty towards Republicans as any democrat machine and I do not like that one bit.
At least T-Paw came out and said he made a mistake regarding Cap and Trade. That’s one thing Romney’s EGO will never permit him to do.
OUTSTANDING POST!!!! I see now that Mittens get his nastiness towards other Republicans from his Daddy. Wow, 50 years of kicking fellow Republicans in the shins. That’s some track record.
Reagan must have had the Romney family in mind when he penned his Eleventh Commandment.
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