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Witches deploy 500 members to Abuja for Jonathan's inauguration (Nigeria)
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| May 28, 2011
| TAIWO OLUWADARE
Posted on 05/27/2011 11:58:13 PM PDT by Stoat
Witches deploy 500 members to Abuja for Jonathan's inauguration
The Witches and Wizards Association of Nigeria (WITZAN), has deployed 500 witches to Abuja and other parts of Ahead of Nigeria to prevent any tragic occurrence and ensure peaceful inauguration on May 29.
According to its national co-ordinator, Dr Okhue Iboi, the decision was taken after an emergency meeting at Zuma rock, Niger State. WITZAN also warned President Goodluck Jonathan to take adequate security as bad people and disgruntled politicians are planning to cause problems.
Iboi, however, disclosed that the nation would soon have a respite from the people currently throwing bombs all over the places as they would be exposed:We are going to expose those sponsoring bomb blasts in the country after May 29. They have been caged already. We are going to use our power to cause them to come out and confess their misdeeds. Nigerians would be surprised at how the saboteurs would be exposed.
He said it was revealed to the witches as far back as last year that no other candidate except Jonathan would rule the nation. The association which also predicted the failure of both former military president Ibrahim Badamosi Babangida and vice president Atiku Abubakar in their presidential quests also disclosed that Jonathan would serve his four-year tenure at the end of which Nigerians would be begging him to go for another term because he has been chosen by God to lead the nation.
Iboi, however, warned Jonathan to beware of sycophants, while warning the incoming ministers and advisers to co-operate with the president and discharge their duties with dedication. The witches warned former Head of State, Major-General Muhammadu Buhari (retd) to stop wasting his time pursuing the presidency:
Buhari should stop wasting his time because his time is past. He can never rule the nation again. His time is gone. The incoming National Assembly will deliver. This is the time Nigerians will know that they have real legislators.
Some people look at us as if we are evil minded people. Not all witches are bad. Our own type of witchcraft is progressive. We are willing to intervene in the affairs of the country anytime the government decides to seek our counsel. We have the solutions to bring lasting peace to the country. Witches and wizards in the country are ready to help restore Nigerias lost glory.
We saw June 12 crisis long before it happened and we warned the late Chief M.K.O. Abiola but he ignored us. Abiola would have been Nigerias president but some of us decided to punish him over the role he played in scuttling the late Chief Obafemi Awolowo presidential ambition. We warned him not to waste his time and life. This was reported in some national dailies. We also dealt with the late General Sani Abacha for the execution of the late Ken Saro-Wiwa.
TOPICS: Foreign Affairs; Government; Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: africa; napl; nigeria; witchcraft; witches
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To: Recovering Ex-hippie
Like America has a shortage of witches?
21
posted on
05/28/2011 5:10:44 AM PDT
by
null and void
(We are now in day 856 of our national holiday from reality. - Obama really isn't one of us)
To: HiTech RedNeck
Anyhow, if these witches and wizards can hurl genuine whammies, what do they need nuclear weapons for? 1) ICBMs are a ranged attack
2) They have far more hit points across all categories.
Cheers!
22
posted on
05/28/2011 5:28:50 AM PDT
by
grey_whiskers
(The opinions are solely those of the author and are subject to change without notice.)
To: ZULU
Nigeria. Witchcraft noted.
To: FredZarguna
Alrighty then.
Witchcraft is everywhere.
24
posted on
05/28/2011 8:34:30 AM PDT
by
Stoat
(If you want a vision of the future, imagine a Birkenstock stamping on a human face... forever)
To: OldNewYork
...not playing quidditch, thats for sure. Parents, lock up your albino children.
Indeed, there are many parts of the world where people are determined to remain ignorant and there are massive organizations in place to ensure that remains the case.
Here in the USA it's called "The Democrat Party"
BBC News - Death for Tanzania albino killers
25
posted on
05/28/2011 8:48:27 AM PDT
by
Stoat
(If you want a vision of the future, imagine a Birkenstock stamping on a human face... forever)
To: HiTech RedNeck
Its magic
26
posted on
05/28/2011 8:51:37 AM PDT
by
Stoat
(If you want a vision of the future, imagine a Birkenstock stamping on a human face... forever)
To: Stoat; Daffynition; bigheadfred
To: HiTech RedNeck
28
posted on
05/28/2011 8:57:56 AM PDT
by
Stoat
(If you want a vision of the future, imagine a Birkenstock stamping on a human face... forever)
To: Psalm 144
He looks a bubble off of level . . .
29
posted on
05/28/2011 9:08:25 AM PDT
by
Stoat
(If you want a vision of the future, imagine a Birkenstock stamping on a human face... forever)
To: Squantos
They have a big lobby.....albeit made if mud.
30
posted on
05/28/2011 9:18:13 AM PDT
by
Stoat
(If you want a vision of the future, imagine a Birkenstock stamping on a human face... forever)
To: Silentgypsy
HAHAHA! Great stuff!
31
posted on
05/28/2011 9:33:07 AM PDT
by
Daffynition
("Don't just live your life, but witness it also.")
To: Stoat
32
posted on
05/28/2011 9:34:57 AM PDT
by
Daffynition
("Don't just live your life, but witness it also.")
To: Stoat; Darksheare
I'm guessing that any lost glory may be tied to bombs being thrown all over places. Personally, I do not like people who throw bombs all over the places. I am very pleased that wizards and witches are going to use their power to cause them to come out and confess their misdeeds.
After they confess, we should make them drink Darksheare's coffee.
33
posted on
05/28/2011 9:54:52 AM PDT
by
Grizzled Bear
("Does not play well with others.")
To: Daffynition
Horrendiomatous giggle attack! (You are SOOOO reliable!)
To: Grizzled Bear; Stoat
“Just drink this, and all will be forgiven.. *Breaks off into evil laugh*”
35
posted on
05/28/2011 11:28:48 AM PDT
by
Darksheare
(You will never defeat Bok Choy!)
To: Slings and Arrows
Witches protecting Jonathan? Cool.
To: TheOldLady
37
posted on
05/28/2011 1:31:48 PM PDT
by
Slings and Arrows
(You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein. [Free Lazamataz!])
To: TheOldLady
38
posted on
05/28/2011 1:39:49 PM PDT
by
humblegunner
(Free Lazamataz!)
To: Grizzled Bear
Personally, I do not like people who throw bombs all over the places. Uhhh...
Sometimes it's done responsibly and in a controlled environment. Just sayin'... ;-)
39
posted on
05/28/2011 1:41:55 PM PDT
by
humblegunner
(Free Lazamataz!)
To: humblegunner; Grizzled Bear
Sometimes it's done responsibly and in a controlled environment. Just sayin'... ;-)Grizzled Bear has lived in that place where they do it just to be a-holes and their aim sucks.
I think GB would like our explosive gatherings. Much friendlier and definitely better managed.
("Duck behind the propane tank, kids!")
40
posted on
05/28/2011 2:45:18 PM PDT
by
Allegra
(Hey! Stop looking at my tagline like that.)
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