Posted on 08/17/2010 8:41:31 PM PDT by webcard
Googled "Fish Kill" and used advanced search to limit to last 30 days. Below are a few of the reports but there are literally thousands all across the country.
Delaware Bay - fish kill 'highly significant'
Baytown, Tx - Fish kill in Burnet Bay
Hancock County, Mississippi - EOC Director: Fish kill after oil washes up, “ALL the crabs are crawling up on the bank”; “Dying everywhere” says fisherman
New Jersey shore - Cause of Fish Kill: Low Oxygen or Scared to Death? Fishy theories don't explain why seagulls won't eat the dead fish washed up on the shore
ALBERT LEA, Minn - Fish Kill is "No Big Deal" for Fountain Lake
Lake Norman, NC - Lake Norman fish kill tops 7,000
Port St. Joe, Fla - Dead fish cleaned up; festival will go on
Port Fuchon, La - Mass Fish Kill In Fourchon, Louisiana Provides Insight, But Presents More Questions Regarding The Gulf Oil Spill
West Nottinham, Pa - Second Chesco fish kill blamed on heat
Salina, Ks - Fish Kill Mystery
Fairhaven, Mass - Menhaden: Low Oxygen Level Trigger Fish Kill
Cumberland, WV - Deep Creek Fish Kill Toll at 1000 - and counting
St. John River, Fla - Beyond the fish kill: St. Johns River now also plagued by bizarre foam
Oronoco, Minn - DNR investigates Lake Zumbro fish kill
Gulfport, Miss - Fish kill covers shore in Gulfport near Jones Park
It was April the 41st, being a quadruple leap year
I was driving in downtown Atlantis
My Barracuda was in the shop, so I was in a rented Stingray, and it was
overheating
So I pulled into a Shell station
They said I’d blown a seal
I said, “Fix the damn thing and leave my private life out of it, okay
pal?”
While they were doing that I walked over to a place called the oyster
bar — a real dive
But I knew the owner, he used to play for the Dolphins
I said, “Hi, Gil!!!”
You hafta yell, he’s hard of herring
CHORUS:
Think I had a wet dream
Cruisin’ through the Gulf Stream
Oooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Wet dream...
Gil was also down on his luck
Fact is, he was barely keeping his head below water
I gullied up to the sandbar
He poured the usual
Rusty snail, hold the grunion, shaken, not stirred
With a peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich on the side — heavy on the
mako
I slipped him a fin — on porpoise
I was feeling good
I even dropped a sand dollar in the box for Jerry’s Squids — for the
halibut
Well, the place was crowded
We were packed in like sardines
They were all there to listen to the big band sounds of Tommy Dorsal —
what sole
Tommy was rockin’ the place with a very popular tuna — “Salmon Chanted
Evening”
And the stage was surrounded by screaming groupers
Probably there to see the bass player
One of them was this cute little yellowtail
And she’s giving ME the eye
So I figure, this is my chance for a little fun
You know — a piece of Pisces
But she said things I just couldn’t fathom
She was too deep, and seemed to be under a lot of pressure
Boy, could she drink
She drank like a... she drank A LOT...
I said, “What’s your sign?”
She said, “Aquarium”
I said, “GREAT!!! Let’s get tanked!”
CHORUS
I invited her up to my place for a little midnight bait
I said, “C’mon baby, it’ll only take a few minnows”
She threw me that same old line
“Not tonight — I got a haddock”
And she wasn’t kiddin’ either, ‘cuz in came the biggest, meanest looking
haddock I’d ever seen come down the pike
He was covered with mussels
He came over to me, he said, “Listen shrimp — don’t you come trolling
around here”
What a crab
This guy was steamed — I could see the anchor in his eyes
I turned to him, I said, “Abalone — You’re just being shellfish”
Well, I knew it was going to be trouble, and so did Gil, ‘cuz he was
already on the phone to the cods
The haddock hits me with a sucker punch
I catch him with a left hook
He eels over
It was a fluke, but there he was, lying on the deck, flat as a mackerel
Kelpless
I said, “Forget the cods, Gil, this guy’s gonna need a sturgeon”
Well, the yellowtail was impressed with the way I landed her boyfriend
She came over to me, she said, “Hey big boy, you’re really a game fish”
“What’s your name?”
I said, “Marlin”
CHORUS
Well from then on, we had a whale of a time
I took her to dinner
I took her to dance
I bought her a bouquet of flounders
And then I went home with her
And what did I get for my trouble?
A case of the clams
Quit carping.
Yeah they are yummy but but it takes 50 of them to make a meal for 1!
What, nobody’s given this thread the hook yet?
Yes! You have to do something to kill the taste of the mud.
IBTZ.
You can eat the fish
They can be tasty dinners
I like pork and beef
Wow! 43 replies on my first post.
As Douglas Adams’s wrote:
“So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish”
Just a correction for you. Cumberland and Deep Creek Lake are in Maryland, not West Virginia.
On a side note, I'm having a dozen grass carp delivered to my two ponds today. Damn things are not cheap.
As an aside
Abe Vigoda is still alive. At 99 he’s still acting!!
(Was watching The Godfather last week & did an IMDB search and came across this. I was surprised cause I really thought he’d be dead by now)
Okay, back to fish jokes
Bluegills need about an hour presoak in the fridge with a saltwater mixture. I use about 3TBS. salt to a quart of water. Just enough to cover the fish. It firms them up and adds some flavor. Then proceed with smokepole’s recipe or use an egg wash followed by a dredge in a mix of white flour and cornmeal seasoned to taste.
Waste not, want not.
forty-two = 38
You generate a lot of interest with a first post about an "environmental concern," especially if you post and dash. FReepers don't drink ManBearPig (AKA sex-crazed poodle) Koolaid.
Ok, Ok.
Allow me to explain the post. I was introduced to the FR by a coworker who is States’s Right Conservative from SC and has become a good friend.
I have been lurking for some time, enjoying the forum for the offbeat postings that didn’t seem to be reported by the mainstream news syndicates.
Government censorship seemed to be a issue with FR members and when I accidentally stumbled on an interesting issue that wasn’t being reported, I mistakenly thought it might be of interest to the forum.
I have worked in the chemical, power, pharmaceutical and oil/gas industries all my life and understand well the phrase “Who’s your Daddy?” and didn’t make any corporations or industries culpable for the amazing number of fish kills occurring across the country.
I never expected the vehement flaming, as my intentions though perceived to the group as troll-like, where not intended to be anything of the sort.
I apologize to all members for my insensitive post and promise never to bring up subjects which are in any way distasteful to the “party-line”.
I soak mine in buttermilk.
I was responsible for killing off 32 shellcrackers last full moon.
Sorry.
Natural fish kills happen all the time. Others can be blamed sewage spills. Sh_t happens.
Do you have links to those stories?
Did you use crabs or urchins for bait?
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.