Apology Thread

7/23/2010 | vbmoneyspender

[vbmoneyspender]

In the old days, when someone wanted you to apologize it was for something you had done to them. And the way it worked was they would ask you for an apology and you would tell them to go screw themselves. But we live in a new age where apologies are done differently. Nowadays, the way apologies work is that you demand that someone you don't personally know apologize to someone else that you don't personally know. This is another form of modern outsourcing and, as such, has become quite the rage in the more technologically sophisticated areas of the United States.

As a result, in order to keep up with the times, I am creating this Apology Thread and starting it off with my own demands for apologies from people I have never met. First, I demand that George Lucas apologize to Star Wars fans for writing and directing Stars Wars Episodes 1, 2 and 3 and that he further apologize to movie fans in general for producing Howard the Duck. Second, I demand that Norm Coleman apologize to the good people of the state of Minnesota for losing to Al Franken in the 2008 senatorial race. And because this race had national implications, Norm Coleman may want to consider expanding his apology to include the citizens of all these United States. Third, I demand that Madonna apologize to Kabbalah worshippers for joining their religion and thereby making a mockery of it.

Now that I have issued my apology demands, I would like to invite my fellow freepers to issue their own apology demands to people they don't know.

And lastly, because I don't want this post to end on a purely negative note, I would like to personally thank Mitchell Mortaza for founding the Women's Lingerie Football League. Mitchell, if you are reading this, I just want to say "Never Give Up! Never Surender!"

[Alex Murphy]

I would very much like an apology from a college professor of mine in journalism....
I'd also like an apology from Jacob Arminius....
I'd like Seinfeld to apologize that he ended his show, and I'd like Ellen to apologize that she got another one....
I'm going to have to apologize to all of you because I just might spend a lot of time adding to this list....
I want an apology from Macy's for increasing my credit limit....
I want an apology from someone for my shoe size....
I've waited for years to get an apology from our sons' middle school....
I want an apology from google....
I want an apology from all the obituary writers....

"You owe me an apology."

[Salamander]

He’s from a large family and I’m from a small family.

[Fits, doesn’t it?]....:))

[bd476]

I am sorry.

[shibumi]

I was raised as an only child within a large family.

(I’m not kidding.)

[xzins]

101 ways to Wok your Dog: ask me about my Korea trip :>)

Half Nelson is a great, great album

[Allegra]

I know! I'll start a blog!

But what to do?
I've got it!
A spelling contest!

Oooooh, ooooooh....I'll start!

"Drunkard."

D-R-U-N-K-E-R-D.

Do I get a gold star? Do I? Do I? Huh?

[TheOldLady]

Blue eye with icky hair across it M sorry lamb could ugly sculpture contributing to the downfall of society pond plant it in guy getting hosed context it makes a difference? ???

And who cares about where a thousand trucks in a row are going with some having cattle and some having poultry?

Stop calling me a dago, or apologize NOW!

Seriesly? Great rebus. :-)

[Vendome]

Really? Very different from most single children.

Must have had some interesting life experiences.

I am from a large family and my sharpness was honed as the oldest of 6 children and living with your competitors for 18 years will only improve your skills.

[bd476]

TheOldLady wrote: "You said 'dago.' Who are you calling a dago? Apologize at once."

I'm sorry, no apology is needed.

Dago is not a who, it is a where.


Tangga Seribu, Dago, Bandung, Indonesia

Dago is a beautiful part of the city of Bandung in Indonesia.


View from Dago overlooking Bandung, Indonesia

[bd476]

Awww thanks. :)
Blush.

Now you owe me an apology for making me blush.

[shibumi]

I had three siblings. My oldest brother is 20 years my senior, the next 19(RIP) and my sister 12. None of them lived in the home where I was raised.

I was nurtured and tutored by two PhDs, one in English and the other a Librarian. The third woman in our house was my grandmother, a police matron who ran the lockup in the Gary City Jail till she was 75 years old.

Schooled by Catholic nuns and priests.

It was brutal.

[Vendome]

Boy, Vendome is slower than a herd of turtles.

Raised as a single child

In a large family.

[shibumi]

Vendome is so slow, he’s speaking of himself in the third person.

(I thought only Horowitzian Bloggers did that.)

[Allegra]

Dago is not a who, it is a where.

Feels like every time you turn around, another dagos by.

[TheOldLady]

I was raised as an only child within a large family.

Me too. By the time I was seven, all four of my siblings were up and out, leaving me as an "only child."

[TheOldLady]

You go first.

[TheOldLady]

LOL! UNCLE! I give!

[50mm]

I apologize for hurting the tender feelings of a blogpimp by using the dreaded “$pit” word.

[50mm]

Schooled by Catholic nuns and priests. It was brutal.

I had some of that. Did you have "ruler on the knuckles" or "books on extended arms" or "slap across the face" or "spiked baseball bat" nuns?

[TheOldLady]

“Slap across the face,” “ruler on the knuckles,” and “yanking the hair” nuns. Angry, angry nuns.