Apology Thread

7/23/2010 | vbmoneyspender

[vbmoneyspender]

In the old days, when someone wanted you to apologize it was for something you had done to them. And the way it worked was they would ask you for an apology and you would tell them to go screw themselves. But we live in a new age where apologies are done differently. Nowadays, the way apologies work is that you demand that someone you don't personally know apologize to someone else that you don't personally know. This is another form of modern outsourcing and, as such, has become quite the rage in the more technologically sophisticated areas of the United States.

As a result, in order to keep up with the times, I am creating this Apology Thread and starting it off with my own demands for apologies from people I have never met. First, I demand that George Lucas apologize to Star Wars fans for writing and directing Stars Wars Episodes 1, 2 and 3 and that he further apologize to movie fans in general for producing Howard the Duck. Second, I demand that Norm Coleman apologize to the good people of the state of Minnesota for losing to Al Franken in the 2008 senatorial race. And because this race had national implications, Norm Coleman may want to consider expanding his apology to include the citizens of all these United States. Third, I demand that Madonna apologize to Kabbalah worshippers for joining their religion and thereby making a mockery of it.

Now that I have issued my apology demands, I would like to invite my fellow freepers to issue their own apology demands to people they don't know.

And lastly, because I don't want this post to end on a purely negative note, I would like to personally thank Mitchell Mortaza for founding the Women's Lingerie Football League. Mitchell, if you are reading this, I just want to say "Never Give Up! Never Surender!"

[the_conscience]

This thread will be too much fun!

Now for the sorriest sum beach of all!

[count-your-change]

No apology but how would a very large check do? Keep checking your mailbox. It may take a while.

[Huntress]

I, on the other hand, have nothing to apologize for as I have led a clean and spotless life! (really I have)

You should apologize for being such a goody-two-shoes and making the rest of us look bad.

[shibumi]

First off, I'd like to apologize to everyone for being away from this thread for so long. The problem with having to work, you know.

I know! I'll start a blog! Then I could spend more time here on the computer with all of you.

But what to blog about? Well ..... How about a blog about bloggers? I could excerpt blogs and post part of their content here, and then direct traffic to my blog, where I would make "Fair Use" of what they wrote to generate ad income for myself. I think I'll start with the "Dittos-Rush!" blog

But alas! There is so precious little written on that blog, that by the time it's excerpted, there's nothing left but a sentence fragment, like "Here's a video..." You know, I tried to get Little Jimmie into a serious discussion on several issues, and the best I got was this:

"Sorry, I have no substantive comment on that, not that it would matter anyway."

Do you think his thoughts were too lofty for publication? Or, did he not understand what I wrote? Well, Jimmie? Which was it? Is your prose too good for us, or non-existent? (And, of course, I apologize for putting you on the spot like that. But I still want an answer)

Or maybe I could excerpt the NewsRealBlog. But then the start up cost would be prohibitive, what with all the firewalls, anti-trojan/anti-virus software, not to mention the multi-focal glasses needed for reading anything in that environment. (And of course, I aologize to everyone at NewsRealBlog fot telling the truth about their site.)

And while we're on the Apology Thread, how about Little Jimmie apologizing to gunner for the lies he's spread? But, you know, I just have this nagging desire to see what goes on inside Little Jimmie's head. Jimmie, I want to engage you somehow in a conversation starter.

But what to do?

I've got it!

A spelling contest!

[Vendome]

 

 

 

And get a decent spell checker, ya cheapskate.   LOL

[50mm]

You bad! (on purpose rap talk)

[shibumi]

I aologize ..... (dammit, did it again!) for misexpelling the wurd “aplogize.”

You know, I don’t use the FR spellchecker because it eerater rathic.

[shibumi]

No, that's eblogonics.

Jimmie said it to gunner yesterday. He said:

"You so bad!"

[50mm]

My bad! Word!

[Vendome]

Yeah, I know.

It’s Jim Thompson’s fault, really....

[Alamo-Girl]

LOLOL! Thanks for the ping!

[Salamander]

Do you wanna slap him sane again or shall I?

[Vendome]

I don’t know. He looks like a pretty big guy.

Pretty sure his humorous side would instantly suppress.

Uhm.... You do it.

(let me know how it goes)

[Salamander]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w39Z5nmFmqo

[because nobody in Korn wears Kodpieces]

[Salamander]

Oh, yeah, sure, he’s a biggun alright but I’m small, fast and agile.

[sorta like a Velociraptor...I’ll chew through his ankles before he even knows what hit him]

:D

[Ditter]

You don't look bad to me but you should apologize for failing to recognize a double scoop of sarcasm when it is served to you.

[Salamander]

I think she just hurled a dripping blob of it right back at you...and you didn’t duck....:)

[ThomasThomas]

Why isn’t this on the religious forum?

Or is Apologetics the art of apologies.?

[shibumi]

I guess this is going to make that spelling contest really tricky for Little Jimmie. (Do they let you compete in those while wearing a Fur Suit?)

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[Randy Larsen]

Read my tagline!