Posted on 07/18/2010 7:42:32 AM PDT by GOPsterinMA
Steve Niro got married in 1981 at age 23 and divorced less than five years later. At the time of the divorce, he and his wife were in their late 20s, and both were working. Niro remarried nearly 15 years ago, but he’s still paying his alimony.
Two years ago, Niro’s youngest son graduated from college, ending child support payments and leaving his former wife with alimony of $65 a week. “The next thing I know, I get summonsed to court for alimony adjustment,’’ he says. A probate court judge increased the alimony to $700 a week even though the couple had divorced nearly a quarter of a century ago — five times longer than they were married.
“I paid child support. I paid college. I was never late. I fulfilled my obligations,’’ says Niro, 52, a Milford native who works for an environmental engineering firm in Portland, Maine. “I just have to hope that legislators in Massachusetts have enough sense to pass a law that puts guidelines on alimony because the courts don’t exercise any common sense or logic.’’
Niro and other men — and women — like him say the state’s alimony law is archaic, reflecting an era when women kept house and men provided. Today, with women making up nearly half the workforce, they say alimony should be a temporary boost, not a lifetime subsidy.
(Excerpt) Read more at boston.com ...
Since the guy has to pay for her lawyer it is impossible.
If she is smart, she immediately gets the most expensive lawyer in town so he can not afford a lawyer at all.
I forgot to mention the best part, he also included that he wanted me to pay for his attorney. But no, my attorney filed for alimony against him and for her fees and then both attorneys used that as bargaining chips, he’d throw his claim out if I’d throw mine out. The look on his face when he saw he wasn’t going to be able to sponge off my family was priceless.
Australia!
When my X and I divorced, the judge asked us if we had child support worked out and we both stated that we did. Based on my income at the time, we both agreed to $200 per child per month until they reached 18 or moved out, whichever came first. The judge never signed an order for support. I kept my mouth shut on that one but I paid the agreed upon amount anyway.
This worked until the oldest turned 18 and stayed living with mom. The following month I gave her a check for $200 for the remaining minor child. She went to Child services on me and they ordered me to pay significantly more (this month was my first of not having to pay support in many years) They even tried to push her into going back to the date I left her and getting back support. The only thing that saved me from having to pay thousands in back support was my kids both sitting in that office with their mom telling her that if she did that, they would leave her and go live with dad.
I love my girls.
“How about being as certain as you can be that you will stay married before you get married and then work at it?”
Who on their wedding day does not think that it will last forever? Your point is not completely off however as I believe that far too many people don’t understand that marriage takes work, a lot of it.
Nasty divorces sap your lifes blood...good that things turned out for your sister...Karma worked fast on her behalf...I agree some women get screwed in divorce also, but its usually the guy...and it all cases the kids emotionally get it the worse..thats the really sad part....
> most divorce’s are started by the woman, the one that wants the divorce should get nothing....male or female...with an acception for physical violence against the partner or drug abuse..In that case with evidence to back up physical abuse, ie: hospital records the abuser should lose everything...<
So even if the woman has multiple young children, and solid proof the tomcat she married is bedding anything that will hold still for 5 seconds (which by the way could endanger her life from incurable STD’s) she should get nothing if she files for divorce??
The individual you mentioned had bad advice when he divorced. Always get a court order limiting the jurisdictional period.
I am not saying there are not scummy men in this world, but lots of decent guys get shafted in family court...
Australia
Well, as somebody pointed out, the original purpose of alimony wasn’t all bad. It came at a time when few women worked outside the home and even had employable skills, and was a way of making sure that a husband couldn’t just dump her on welfare as he sailed off with a newer, younger version. But it was abused from the start, mostly among the wealthy (where gold-diggers emerged immediately to marry - and then divorce - their sugar daddies, who paid dearly for the priviledge).
Of course, most women are not in the “unemployable” situation anymore, or if they are, there are means of obtaining skills. The result is a lot of exploitation.
Unfortunately, instead of changing alimony laws so they had a reasonable limit (that is, giving a woman who had been married a long time but had no outside employment and few skills enough time to acquire them), they expanded the same unjust laws to make women liable for paying alimony, too, and under the same ridiculous conditions.
I imagine gays will be subject to the same conditions...that ought to cool their fervor real fast!
The laws vary by state, so people should think twice about their laws in their particular state.
Good grief! I hope he lost!
>I am not saying there are not scummy men in this world, but lots of decent guys get shafted in family court...<
A lot of whom are the scummy lawyers shafting the men. How much of the inequity in divorce courts all goes back to greedy attorneys?
If the feminists have a problem with that, tell them it's 'gender-neutral'!
I also forgot to mention about the destruction wrought by divorce.
Back in 1988, my dad owned a business and one of the kids working for him got married. He was not even married for a year when his wife divorced him. The guy was a college student, didn’t own anything except he bought a car before the wedding in his name. The girl was a “whore” who liked going to bars all the time and hooking up with guys. She worked at one of the top accounting firms making around $140,000 in today’s dollars.
I met the woman one time and she was very unfriendly and had this attitude. Before she filed for divorce, she cleaned all the accounts out and he didn’t even have any money to hire a lawyer. When the divorce was finalized, she got everything except the shirt on his back. She tried to get his truck but couldn’t since his parents owned it. Add on he had to pay alimony for several years and pay for her lawyer. All the items he owned prior to the marriage ? He had to give it to her as well.
After the divorce, he tried to move on with his life but the woman started to harass him and play mind games with him. He got so harassed by her that he made a dumb move and went over to her place with a gun. That sent him to prison for 6 years. After he got out, she couldn’t leave well alone and tried to file false charges against him.
wow. The standard in this state is one year alimony for every five years of marriage.
My fiancee is the same. She was paying him support even though she had custody. We got that reversed toute de suite when I made it clear to him, that I wasn’t going to pay him a dime of my money.
If you fight a war today using the tactics of the Civil War era, you will be blown into pieces and killed.
Marriage, in it's current form, after constant assault from every freak group possible over the past 45+ years is a HUGE gamble that a person will most likely lose. Big congrats to those that make it, they are truly blessed!
The days of the ‘Leave It To Beaver’ family are long gone, and barring some seismic shift, ain't coming back. It totally sucks, but it is the reality of the situation.
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