If you fight a war today using the tactics of the Civil War era, you will be blown into pieces and killed.
Marriage, in it's current form, after constant assault from every freak group possible over the past 45+ years is a HUGE gamble that a person will most likely lose. Big congrats to those that make it, they are truly blessed!
The days of the ‘Leave It To Beaver’ family are long gone, and barring some seismic shift, ain't coming back. It totally sucks, but it is the reality of the situation.
DH and I are now in our 45th year of marriage. So, I guess we could qualify for “Leave it to Beaver”. He married me after the first louse hit me, cheated, and took drugs. He adopted my two babies after the first louse quit paying child support, and cancelled the health insurance on the babies.
We had two more children together, and worked at our marriage. Now he has Parkinson’s, and I am his caregiver. We have so many happy memories together. I never worked outside the home, but did help him with his business, for no pay.
We aren’t perfectly “suited to one another”, but we believe in respecting each other, and putting up with each other’s idiosyncrasies.
Love is a verb.
Leave it Beaver had stay at home wife. My wife, of almost 40 years only stayed at home for short periods after the two kids were born. Not long after the second one, she started work on her doctorate. She's also supported us my last two years of college and while I got my masters a few years later. She's now the chair of a small college's teacher education department.
We had a rough period. She moved out, but we worked through it, went to counseling, and are still married. Now we've survived over 11 years of "commuter marriage", living in separate cities due to work considerations. (We are sick of it, fortunately her job allows us to at least live together when school is not in session) It can be done. I think people get to the rough period, and just give up. To hell with how it affects the kids.
Now that said, I know several people who finally made a good go of it, after 2 or 3 tries. But for the most part, they either had no children, or the separations were amiable enough that the children's suffering was minimized. One couple, former couple that is, helped organize our "turning 60" class reunion, part of which was held at their son's restaurant. :). They still consider themselves friends.
But then there is also the couple who were Junior High. sweethearts, married soon after high school, and are still married, 40+ years later. Their two kids are each two years younger than our two. She was the youngest looking lady at the reunion.