[Rushmore Rocks]

This post caught my attention because I am experiencing the same thing with my six-year old grandson. We don’t quite know what to do with him. Socially, he is terribly shy, but still plays well with the other kids. He started reading at age three. His kindergarten teacher sends him to the fourth grade class for math everyday. But he has now surpassed that. He is doing algebra, geometry, and is starting calculus. His favorite toy is my calculator.....and he can even multiply Roman Numerals. (Who can do that?) He comes here every day after school to help me with the New York Times crossword puzzles.....I’m a crossword junkie and he loves helping me. In all other areas, he is a perfectly normal little boy. He has a gentle, loving, generous spirit, but can be quite feisty when the need arises.

My son and daughter-in-law try to keep him interested in sports and other “normal” things, but he much prefers mental challenges....and gets bored quickly with kid stuff. We are trying hard to balance his quest for knowledge with his need for a natural childhood. The school is bringing in a “special needs” counselor to work with him when he starts first grade in the fall.

I just love him so very much and want him to be happy and productive. I worry about any harm that could come to him because of his special “gift”.

[Fractal Trader]

If he’s good in math, he probably has a good musical aptitude, too. If you can get him to play with other musicians, that could help the social side. Remember, rock guitarists get all the chicks!

[4Runner]

I had a friend like that when I was growing up. He was great fun to be with, we both built model airplanes from kits. As I found out later on, he was doing the calculus and reading college textbooks while he and I were in the eighth grade. He never told anyone, it was something his parents were coordinating for him. I think he was almost ashamed of it. One of the kids on the block however didn’t cotton to him, and he received a few kicks and punches and unwarranted split lips as a result. I remember him lying on the ground crying, refusing to fight, refusing to take the bait.

We gradually grew apart and I moved away from the neighborhood. And only many years later did I learn he had grown up to become a prominent and respected state supreme court judge, who has presided over some very high profile civil cases. The kid who used to beat him up? He made the news in 2000, at the age of 51, found shot to death in his apartment, presumably in connection with a drug deal gone bad. Childhood can be a very strange cauldron indeed.

[onyx]

I asked my husband to read your comments because he’s the professional and he said your family is doing everything right by trying to stress the inter-personal relationships with other children and your family members.

He said his shyness might be a defense mechanism because he wants to spend his time doing his math and other mental exercises, so it’s really important to try to interest him to interact with your family.

Maybe watch a movie together and discuss afterward. Play games together. He could likely teach you all to play Contract Bridge...lol.

You have a wonderful challenge in your special grandson, dear friend. Blessings!!!

[Slings and Arrows]

If he has a gift for math he probably won’t be happy doing anything else. Beyond that, I agree with the poster who said to encourage him musically too.

[pops88]

I just love him so very much and want him to be happy and productive. I worry about any harm that could come to him because of his special “gift”.

I think the biggest risk of harm may come from the public school system. My daughter was gifted and a lot of teachers didn't know how to work with her. She is 14 and just completed her second year at a major university. She was home schooled and privately tutored when she was young, then went to public school from 4th to 7th grade. She was bored and unchallenged in school, even being in accelerated classes. With being so bright, she had several clashes with teachers who she thought did really stupid things. We had her take the ACT right after 7th grade. She scored so highly the university recruiter said, "holy @#$%!" She's absolutely loved attending and has no trouble fitting in. I would highly recommend considering home schooling if at all possible. The public school system is not going to be able to adequately meet your grand son's needs. At some point, it will be come a handicap for him. I wish you the best.

[El Gato]

I just love him so very much and want him to be happy and productive. I worry about any harm that could come to him because of his special “gift”.

If he's not interested in team sports, many shy kids are not, they might consider individual sports, like tennis, gymnastics, even track and field. He might be particularly interested in gymnastics, if he could watch a bit of mens gymnastics at the national or international level. Swimming/diving is another option.

Another tact might be to get him interested in the math and physics of sports. Why does a curve ball curve? (One of my college physics profs taught a class on the physics of golf). What the trajectory of a long fly ball? Why do quarterbacks throw "spirals", how does that help? Lots of things in lots of sports. (bowling and billards are good and somewhat simpler to analyze. I'm sure there are books on the subject.

he can even multiply Roman Numerals. (Who can do that?)

Well I once could. I'd have to figure it out again, since it's been 45+ years. :) But I certainly wasn't that young, and didn't do even pre-calc until high school.

But there is nothing "unnatural" about a "geeky" childhood. Ask me how I know. :) However while I did not play sports, except little league baseball, which I never really liked much, and spent the last two seasons on the bench, learning to keep the score book (hits runs errors, etc) and functioning as equipment manager. Also "driveway" basketball, I was a student manager in high school, (letters in 3 sports, 2 each Football and Baseball, one in basketball) Five time state Champ basketball coach said I was the smartest stoolie he'd ever had, but I would add, except for Michael, who was a sophomore when I was a senior. I think Coach J decided he liked having smart stoolies. (Judging by the guy doing it a couple of years ago, the tradition has continued, through at least 3 other coaches. :) )

I guess I wasn't so terribly shy, although I felt like it at the time. But maybe not, slightly chunky and just a stoolie, I still would go to the dances, and ask the "cheerleader" types to dance, once at least. Of course B I kept on asking and she kept on dancing with me, so why not? She was a nice gal as well as a pretty and popular one. Don't know what's happened to her, though, she's not signed up on our class website. :)

But I asked the "nerdy" girls too. One of whom I've been married to for 40 years come this fall. :)

I just love him so very much and want him to be happy and productive. I worry about any harm that could come to him because of his special “gift”.

Just remember, math whiz or not, he's still a little kid, with all the lack of judgment, unrealistic fantasies and expectations and so forth, that implies. Treat him that way, keep loving him, and he'll be fine. Oh, and be very proud of him. He'll pick up on that even if you don't say anything.

[MamaDearest]

You have a grandson indeed to be proud of RR. Crossword puzzles are fun (and challenging when we can't fill in every blank space within them). I believe he will find things to entertain himself and no one will have to worry about him being bored.

If your grandson's school is on-the-ball, they will have programs set up to help him maximize his skill levels. Has he been tested for child Mensa yet? There are tests available at the leading bookstores to help access that (to verify what his parents and you already know).

We're blessed with a gifted granddaughter and delighted that she loves to help others, and has done so often with her church group. It's the whole package that counts and I've no doubt your family has superior family / social values. Also, feisty is good - definitely a lot of fun to be around (which I can tell Grandmother RR looks forward to each and every day).

[grey_whiskers]

Teach him how to deal with setbacks gracefully...and that there are truly intractable problems, for which intellect will forever be insufficient.

He's going to eat the special needs counselor alive. He needs friends closer to his intellectual level: and it will be awkward when the only people that don't bore him are adults. (It makes it hard to have friendships, "connectedness," when people have no life interests in common. And if your grandson doesn't learn how to get along with those his age, the lack of social skills may bite him later.)

Cheers!

[yefragetuwrabrumuy]

A visit to a major university is in order. Specifically visit the department heads of the department of mathematics and the department of physics, by appointment. They will know, or will be motivated to find out, the very best educational programs for your grandson.

Just as importantly, there are people you should make every effort to steer clear of, as they will see your grandson as little more than an experiment whose time they can freely waste. These include child psychologists, child developmental experts, and others who want to use them for their own purposes, not provide opportunity to them.

Children who are intellectually gifted will face a great deal of resentment, ironically far more from adults than from their peers, and the gifted educators found in mathematics and physics still vividly remember the unnecessary obstacles that were laid in their own paths, so may offer particularly good advice.

Best of luck.

[Cicero]

I’d say you’re lucky to have a very smart grandson. I have a lot of children and grandchildren myself, and I think that the important thing is to let them develop and be what they were born to be. Some of them are very bright, but manage to get on and have friends.

I was a bit like that myself, growing up. But I managed to find my own friends, and to keep the fact that I was smarter than average to myself, for the most part. (Not a good thing to boast about!) It wouldn’t be a bad idea to encourage sports, too, if you can, and tell him he should develop himself “all around.” I think I remember learning about the ancient Greek idea of the all-around man. Maybe watch and see which sports he’s inclined to, even if it’s tennis and soccer rather than football.

[Myrddin]

I had much the same "problems". I didn't give a rip about sports, but always excelled at academics. I preferred the company of older people who could converse at my level...my chronological peers weren't up to the challenge. I was tossed into the hands of a "counselor" to "evaluate" me. After hours of spewing vocabulary and math tests, I simply grew tired of the testing process. My reading/spelling level was 7th grade in 2nd grade...it might have been better had I not blown off the test process out of sheer boredom.

Keep feeding the intellectual side of the equation. If you do less than he can handle, boredom will lead to finding something else to do. Allow time to be a "kid" as well. Just because the neurons are firing nicely academically doesn't mean the emotional maturity or life experience aspects are in sync. Don't force the sports if there isn't an interest. It bored me to tears.

[nw_arizona_granny]

If he is only 6 years old now, you are going to need special schools for him, or he will get bored and always in trouble.

Can you home school him?

It is wonderful that some of the young are going to be able to work and will be the doctors and scientists in our future.

[Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo]

1) HOMESCHOOL. If he's really that smart, then there's no reason he can't be accelerated into college level work as he's entering puberty [maybe even before then].
 
2) "he much prefers mental challenges....and gets bored quickly with kid stuff" - WARNING: Do NOT overlook the physical stuff.
 
Neglecting the physical aspects of life [cardio-vascular exercise, musculo-skeletal exercise, working with one's hands] is a really effective recipe for all sorts of physical, psychological, and emotional problems down the road.
 
He needs to be getting hard physical exercise at least five or six days a week - a competitive swim team is great for that [cardio].
 
In addition, I'd have him weight-lifting with selectorized weight stacks [musculo-skeletal].
 
Also, he needs to play little league football [NOT SOCCER!], so that he won't grow up to be a panty-waist.
 
And I'd be sure that he was outside doing lots of work with his hands, such as building tree houses with one of the men in the family.
 
Fishing is also an excellent means of getting boys out of the house and bonding with the men. And learning a skill like fly-tying is a good way to get him to work with his hands.
 
Another thing he can do is work with a microscope, bringing home water samples from the pond so as to examine the amoeba in them.
 
Finally, music lessons & instrument practice - ESPECIALLY PIANO!!! - form the perfect middle ground between the physical world which he needs to remain anchored to, and the mental world which will be trying to lure him into all sorts of pratfalls and traps and disasters.
 
But whatever you do, be absolutely certain that he is leading a very vigorous and energetic physical life - sitting in front of a computer screen or an XBox or a television set, for 10 or 12 hours a day, is a recipe for disaster.