Disappointment as US high school students snub 'lesbian-friendly prom'

Telegraph ^

[TigerLikesRooster]

Disappointment as US high school students snub 'lesbian-friendly prom'

Senior prom fell far short of the rite of passage Constance McMillen was hoping for when she began a legal battle to challenge a ban on same-sex dates.

Published: 7:00AM BST 07 Apr 2010

Constance McMillen Photo: AP

The 18-year-old lesbian student said that she was one of only seven students to show up at a private party chaperoned by school officials. She said the rest of her peers went to another private event where she wasn't invited.

"It was not the prom I imagined," she said. "It really hurts my feelings. These are still people who I've gone through school with, even teachers who loved me before this all started. I've never been a bad student and I don't feel like I deserve to be put through this."

Her case drew a national spotlight after she and the American Civil Liberties Union challenged an Itawamba County School District rule that banned same-sex prom dates and a requirement that only male students wear tuxedos. Proms are parties held for students, generally in their senior year in high school.

The ACLU sent a demand letter to Superintendent Teresa McNeece in February, saying the rules against same-sex prom dates and girls wearing tuxedos violated Miss McMillen's constitutional rights. The district responded by withdrawing its sponsorship and cancelling the April 2 event.

In an apparent compromise, school district officials said parents would organise a private event with school chaperones that Miss McMillen could attend.

[xsmommy]

oh isn’t this nice, the testimonials come rolling in! how did you two find me here????

[an amused spectator]

You know, you MAY be defending the behavior of a sociopath (as another FR poster pointed out) who was seduced and indoctrinated by lesbian pedophiles, and enabled by the professional tax-funded sociopaths @ the ACLU.

Not looking good for your team. :-)

[xsmommy]

figured you weren’t an old coot with a 5 yo, but just in case... LOL! I have been practicing 27 years.

[HiTech RedNeck]

Remember if this is a real Baptist they are VERY into things the bible explicitly states. Snakey has had lots of experience with tax forms and numbers and receipts; apparently little or none with pearls and swine. Sometimes even the obdurate Christian sinner has to be treated like the tax-gatherer until he or she repents.

[SnakeDoctor]

I wouldn’t say I was defending her, or her supporters ... I haven’t made any excuses or justifications for her behavior, or withheld any of my objections to her as a person ...

That being said ... it is a bit of a “John Adams defending the shooters at the Boston Massacre” scenario, I suppose.

SnakeDoc

[HiTech RedNeck]

Muse, Snakey is only calling for one last vain outreach.

[Hegewisch Dupa]

You’re like Alice Joad: “Where ever there are two chicks who like to make out - with each other - I’ll be there....”

[HiTech RedNeck]

Muse, Snakey is only calling for one last vain outreach. Because this somehow benefits the vain outreacher’s soul or stature or public relations or...?

[Politicalmom]

Hey! That’s a fellow cross stitcher you’re maligning there. We stitchers can do vicious things with a needle, you know.

[xsmommy]

i don’t know from tax laws nor baptists. i think he’s young and relatively inexperienced in the matters of school/peers etc and a bit idealistic about how it should be.

[xsmommy]

next thing he’ll tell you is he’s met me personally, eaten dinner with my family and saw my son lick the ice cream scoop when dishing out the ice cream... ; )

[an amused spectator]

That being said ... it is a bit of a “John Adams defending the shooters at the Boston Massacre” scenario, I suppose.

The men on trial for the Boston Massacre were professional soldiers, not sociopaths. :-)

How about, you're excoriating people who refuse to associate with sociopaths or their catspaws?

[Sacajaweau]

In the same vein as Constance...

guess what Adams said about atheists...."That's their problem"....

[Quix]

I think I do a very poor imitation of Solomon.

Yet I do know Holy Spirit . . .

Have traced back through several exchanges but not read most posts on the thread.

My flawed pontifications at the moment are:

1. The contentious, litigious lesbian and partner are certainly amongst the lost needing Jesus.

2. Loving others as ourselves is certainly still part of our 2nd highest priority mandate.

3. I do not believe it is maximally loving to muddy the waters on the prom party sort of thing with either of them.

4. That is, I believe a stark statement was made; needed made and needed followed through on accordingly in terms of the prom party sort of event.

5. I believe the lesbian more than made her bed and needed to lie in it in terms of prom party sorts of events in that time frame. She NEEDED those consequences. CONSEQUENCES can be amongst the most loving things rebellious sorts get. And muddied, waffley consequences are not really very good consequences—particularly in terms of delivering a firm clear message or in modifying behavior.

6. We are not talking here about SOCIAL OPTIONS or LIFESTYLE OPTIONS or SEXUAL ORIENTATION OPTIONS. We are talking about eternal life.

7. Certainly it is wisdom and Christian Love to demonstrate Christian love to the unloveable. That is certainly sacrificial loving and as the title of an interesting book puts it . . . being GUERRILLA LOVERS (by Vince Antonucci).

8. I believe in this case, Christian Love needed to be markedly different than anything like a consolation prize similar to the prom event.

9. I think a dinner with some very boldly and properly affectionate Christian gals at their expense with each of the lesbian gals one at a time . . . would have been appropriate. The appointment could have been made before the alternative straight prom but not scheduled until 2-3 weeks later. The gals could have drawn the lesbian out on her perspective, values, preferences—whatever—and shown her abundant love by listening; repeating in their own words what they heard her saying and the feelings they heard her expressing—and not preaching to her.

10. They could have followed up inviting her to any number of gals only events 1:1, small and larger group stuff over the next 1-3 years.

11. I think inviting her to the alternative prom with the stipulation of a male date etc. would have been sending the wrong message and would have been a set-up for more stupid, counter-productive publicity, manipulations etc. I think it would have been giving her an invitation to another platform for more whining and pontificating about how unfair it all was etc. etc. etc.

12. Also, it would have been yet another message about the prom event that she loved to rail against; loved to rebel against; loved to show hostility over etc. etc. etc.=-i.e. dates with males. That message would have been—essentially, come play nice and pretend you can play nice and you can play with us at our party. I don’t think anyone would have been real thrilled with that. It would have tarnished yet again the party for the straights and would have been no great wonderful thrill for the lesbian and the poor sap accompanying her.

13. She would not likely have accepted, anyway—unless she planned to cause a scene. Her major mode was confrontation and combativeness. The rest of the school had already had enough of that. They didn’t deserve more of it.

14. My 2 cents. Mileage may vary.

Thanks for the honor of your request.

Am greatly humbled.

[Quix]

Just had lunch at Golden Corral.

There was about a 2 year old little girl and maybe a 4-5 year old boy a couple tables away with probably Mom and Mom’s sister.

First, the boy threw a loud but almost moderate fit.

After a bit, I did my usualy big dog bark which sounds exactly like a real dog. The boy quieted down.

After a few minutes, the younger girl threw a bigger fit.

I repeated the big dog bark when it was clear she was not easily quieted or mollified.

Toward the end of their meal, after several bouts of fussing, most of which I ignored but which were quite disturbing for all of us in that room, she fussed yet again loudly, rebelliously and I loudly barked again and then said, “You make too much noise.”

After a bit, she did it again. I barked again and pointed my finger at her and looked sternly at her. She had been trying to play cute with me to win approval etc. and I wasn’t having any of it.

When I pointed my finger at her and looked sternly at her, her mother shielded her eyes and told me not to look at her daughter that way.

I kept my peace.

They were, BTW, Dine (Navajo).

They got up and were preparing to leave. A grandmotherly other Dine woman came over and thanked me for speaking up. I thanked her for her comment and noted plenty loud for the mother to hear that they were sentencing the daughter to reform school or prison. Body language indicated the mother was quite incensed and indignant at such an outrageous assertion.

I relate it to the lesbian case in this sense . . . rebellion is deadly in all of us. The time to begin to teach firmly dealing with it is . . . essentially . . . the day the child comes home from the birth. One cannot start too early.

There is no reasoning with rebellion. There is no molly coddling rebellion. There is no playing nice with rebellion.

The little girl was a very indulged, rebellious spoiled brat. There was no hint of real discipline in any of the responses we observed.

I agree my mother was abusive—as were both my dad’s, in their discipline. However, I didn’t pull stunts like that. That level of rebellion of that sort was nipped in the bud—to my good.

In the Old Testament times, rebellious kids wer stoned to death for the health & durability of the Nation.

Thankfully, we are more merciful now.

However, rebellion is still deadly individually and collectively. And it must be confronted firmly and forcefully.

Molly coddling it and pretending all will be well if we just play nice and sing KUM BYE YA together, never ever works.

I agree it can be tricky being firm with rebellion yet loving the rebel.

Holy Spirit wisdom is good for that.

[longtermmemmory]

I hope “the rest of the story” gets some PR so it will empower students and parents to fight this time of sexual politics blackmail.

Has anyone seen anything about this in the MSM?

[SnakeDoctor]

Thanks for your extremly thoughtful response. I am inclined to agree with you on most points.

I believe she should’ve been given the option of conforming and attending (by the way, I never intended that she attend with a male date, I figured she’d attend alone), or not conforming and not attending ... and thus that the consequences either way were of her doing (though, in some respects, they already are). She has already suffered some consequences of her rebellion, in that prom was cancelled and she is likely not particularly well-liked.

I also agree that if outreach is the ultimate goal, your suggested course regarding meetings with Christian girls is a good one. However, I do believe that with this goal in mind, some headway might’ve been made by extending a gracious olive-branch and allowing her to attend the party (with appropriate dress and no date) if she chose to do so.

I also agree that she likely would’ve chosen not to attend under those conditions, and that scheduling meetings with Christian girls wouldn’t have occurred either. But, you do the best you can, and let God take care of the rest.

Thanks again for your well-reasoned and thorough response.

SnakeDoc

[HiTech RedNeck]

Thanks Quix, I was beginning to lose my head and take it out on folks more than I should.

I couldn’t see how it would be particularly incumbent upon a Christian to try to make a last gesture at the point of having the second party. Or to feel bad about having failed to make such a gesture. Or to want my children to make such a gesture. Or to feel bad about my children having failed to make such a gesture. That seems at best callow and inexperienced in the ways of life, at worst plain wrong and putting others needlessly in harm’s way.

I tried to point out that a genuinely loving followup could be done along the lines you suggested and that was brushed off. Someone with homosexuality and rage problems is not likely to be suddenly mollified by being asked to do something her heart is not in. But she could be touched by repeated caring contacts. That’s the kind of outreach one can be unashamed of.

Thank you again for your suggestions.

‘Neck.

[POWERSBOOTHEFAN]

I need another box of Kleenex!*Sniff*

[HiTech RedNeck]

I am going to reply just once more and that is because I believe it would be a sin to refrain.

You err greatly in brushing off the extended follow up idea with the comment that oh, it couldn’t happen. It is the only thing that would actually make sense from a genuine, real, Christian love outreach point of view. The other is like offering a picture of a glass of water to a (wo)man dying of thirst. If for appearance’ sake it is a very cheap appearance.

Now good-bye, for real.