I saw both sides of this in college. Girl I was friendly with was attacked and raped - she never "got over it", as some would suggest, it's a trauma that she carried around for life.
There's a bit of a good ending to it....I dunno all of the circumstances, but the long and short of it was that the guy came back and started stalking her. Campus cops did nothing. Girl called her dad, who was peripherally connected to the mob. Dad made a phone call and called in a favor. End of problem. Guy left campus, and per the girl "the state, as well."
Contrast the girl, with a male friend of mine. A "he said, she said" type situation, that wound up with him being accused of rape (later, the case was declined to be prosecuted, but the guy left school under a cloud).
I knew this guy well enough to say "Hey, what really happened". His reply (roughly) was "I don't know. We both went to a party and had few. Had a great time that night. Got up, we both went to breakfast, and hung out for awhile. She went off with her roommate, I went back to my room to study. Next thing I know, the cops are at the door."
Both cases were called "rape" but there sure was a difference between the two. I don't have all the answers, but cooler heads need to prevail, somewhere.
That’s the problem of perception sometimes. However girls getting drunk and claiming rape because “it must have been rape! I would have never done that on my own!”. Alchohol can drastically alter our behavior. However there is also the possibility of the use of ‘date rape’ drug which could be then used as “she just got drunk and didn’t know what she was doing.” I’m quite certain that has happened a LOT!
Here is what I tell my kids... my son is 24, I told him he was to NEVER sleep with a drunk girl. Not only is that in poor taste (I hate to admit I said this, but I told him there were plenty of girls who were easy if he wanted sex that bad-but it’s true-especially since he’s a really handsome guy and goodness knows I got enough phone calls from girls when he was a teenager) but it puts him in a vulnerable position later on if the girl decides she really didn’t want it. After the fact.
My daughters (13 and 14) aren’t old enough to go to parties yet, but there is always the chance they sneak off to one. I was a teenager once, I’m not stupid. Anyway, I started preaching in their head to make sure they ALWAYS go with a friend they can trust and ALWAYS insist they remain together. Of course I can’t protect them from everything that can go wrong, or stupid mistakes they make, but I can sure put it in their head.
Reminds me of this story (as recounted on unsolvedmysteries.com):
There is an ex mafioso by the name of Tony Mastasi, who was interviewed on Coast to Coast after he turned states evidence and lives now under another name. He knew Joe Gallo growing up in the late fifties, and related a story that shows Joe's frame of mind and that of the mafia. Tony said that Joe lived in a neighborhood that was pristine in appearance. No litter, flowers by the roadside, etc. He said that one good thing the mafia did was instill respect in young men inside their ring. Young men were taught to keep themselves and their environment clean, to respect others, and to definitely respect women. Young men were shown that when a date ends with a woman, the man will show the woman to the door of her home, and make sure she is inside and secure before leaving. Men have been "confronted" for not adhering to this. Well, in this neighborhood one night, a guy took out a daughter of a prominent man. This guy expected to "get some" that night, but the girl had other ideas. When she refused his advances, he beat her. He knocked out teeth, broke her jaw, and crushed the bone beneath one eye, then dumped her. She made her way on the subway all the way home in that condition. When her father saw her, he took her to the hospital, then decided he would give Joe the Blond Gallo a call.
Joe heard the story. He found out who the guy was and where he worked. He went onto the street and found two young guys, about 20 years old, and gave them a business proposition. He said that he would make it worth their while to stake out this guy's place of business, and watch him. Just watch him, until they could "grab him right," which meant grab him without others seeing them, and return him to Joe. Gallo said it may take days for the right grab, but just do it. And, he said, if they didn't, they were never to approach his house.
The two guys did what they were told. It took almost a week, but they found a chance, grabbed the guy, threw him in their trunk, and drove him to Joe's house, the guy kicking and screaming.
Joe let the three in, the guy by this time crying. He led them down into his basement. There, they all saw one of Joe's pets...a mountain lion in a cage. One which Joe hadn't fed for the entire week. Joe approached the guy and asked him about the things he did to the girl. The guy nodded. Joe asked him which hand he used to hit her with. The guy waved his right hand. Joe told him to stick it in the lion's cage. Joe said if he didn't, the last thing the guy would see in the world would be Joe's face.
The guy stuck his hand in. It was pretty much turned to hamburger. Joe then said they would take him to the hospital. He said he could tell the doctors anything he wanted, like he got it stuck in a meat grinder, but that he would never tell the doctors what really happened. Then he told him never to come back to the neighborhood. No one saw the man again.