My mother told me as I reached the age of going to parties, “there is a difference between rape and regret, learn the difference and take responsibility for it if it’s on you.”
That being said, I don’t care if I drink five cups of “Jungle Juice” and go back to a room. If I say no and get up to leave, you had better fracking stop.
What a horrible thing to say. YOU'D better be prepared to MAKE him fracking stop.
I hear you, but where is the boundary? At the bedroom doorway?
In the bed? In the middle of the act?
I agree, no means no. I feel sorry for guys who wind up ruined because of vengeful girls (Duke lacrosse team) as well.
I saw both sides of this in college. Girl I was friendly with was attacked and raped - she never "got over it", as some would suggest, it's a trauma that she carried around for life.
There's a bit of a good ending to it....I dunno all of the circumstances, but the long and short of it was that the guy came back and started stalking her. Campus cops did nothing. Girl called her dad, who was peripherally connected to the mob. Dad made a phone call and called in a favor. End of problem. Guy left campus, and per the girl "the state, as well."
Contrast the girl, with a male friend of mine. A "he said, she said" type situation, that wound up with him being accused of rape (later, the case was declined to be prosecuted, but the guy left school under a cloud).
I knew this guy well enough to say "Hey, what really happened". His reply (roughly) was "I don't know. We both went to a party and had few. Had a great time that night. Got up, we both went to breakfast, and hung out for awhile. She went off with her roommate, I went back to my room to study. Next thing I know, the cops are at the door."
Both cases were called "rape" but there sure was a difference between the two. I don't have all the answers, but cooler heads need to prevail, somewhere.