Language leaves justice tongue-tied

AP ^ | February 13, 2010

[Sir Clancelot]

Yea, it’s all cultural. But we need to set up some rules for immigrants:

Dear Immigrants,

Welcome to the United States. We acknowledge that this is the land of opportunity, and you are here for the American Dream. However, there are a few dreams that we here in America find downright reprehensible, and if you’re idea of the American Dream includes any of these things, then perhaps you would like to return to your country of origin. A few Rules of the Road for successful living in America.

1. We eat with either the right OR the left hands, depending on which hand God made dominant. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES DO WE WIPE WITH THE LEFT HAND. Please use toilet paper for that.

2. Not withstanding Rule #1, when we eat, we use silverware, unless it’s fast food. Do likewise.

3. In the United States, we only have one wife at a time. Believe us, one’s plenty.

4. Slavery ended her over 150 years ago. Any variants, including child slavery, female trafficking, or child brides have no place here. They have no place in any other country, but the difference is that in the United States, we have the rule of law to end this stuff.

5. Children are gifts of God, not cheap labor. Only have as many as YOU can support. OK, so Hillary wrote “It Takes a Village to Raise a Child”, but the US Taxpayers are a bit tired of paying for so many villagers.

6. The best way to learn about the opportunities in America, learn English. It is the language of the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution and the Bill of Rights. Learn them. It’s why there is an American Dream in the first place. Ever heard of the Guatamalan Dream or the Palestinian Dream? Neither have we.

7. The best way to achieve the American Dream? Work hard and pay your taxes......Then vote for the people that will keep the taxes as low as possible.

8. We operate under the Rule of Law. Learn it and live it.

9. Despite what many politicians want you to believe, the playing field was never level. No poor person ever got rich by penalizing the rich. The poor get rich by learning from the rich and emulating them. Don’t vote for politicians that tell you otherwise.

10. There is actually one place where the level field is level. It’s called the Christian church. Yea, that’s right, the one where they worship Jesus as their Redeemer. Check it out sometimes. You may find more Hope there than in some place that offers Jihad as the answer.

Welcome to America. Please follow the rules.

[CaptRon]

Well. since you put it THAT way...

[MrBambaLaMamba]

Additional tiles in the rich mosaic that is cultural diversity ,,,

[SWAMPSNIPER]

THEY SHOULD NOT BE HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE!

[Verginius Rufus]

Not all Mayan-language speakers are here in the US illegally--I know two who are not (one who is married to an American and is perhaps a US citizen herself by now), the other a Catholic priest who has proper documents to be in the US. They are from Chiapas, Mexico, and speak Spanish as their second language and English as their third.

One problem is that there are several Mayan languages--so even if they find a qualified interpreter, he might not speak the right language.

[proudpapa]

What the hell are they doing here. What possible contribution to our society might they make?

If they could earn English it sounds like they could find work as a translator.

[John-Irish]

Thank you for the treatise on the Mayan language. Maybe this man should have said where whatever variety of it is spoken instead of my tax dollars having to pay for him to be understood.