[jimfree]

Burrowed in inside the DC Beltway. Snow is sticking.

[Snowyman]

Forgive the language- and true

December 8: 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the
Season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by
The window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It
Looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like
Newlyweds again. I love snow!

December 9: We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow
Covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can
There be a more lovely place in the Whole World? Moving here was
The best idea I’ve ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years,
Felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks.
This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks
And closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a
Perfect life.

December 12: The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a
Disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we’ll definitely
Have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob
Says we’ll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I’ll never
Want to see snow again. I don’t think that’s possible. Bob is such
a nice man, I’m glad he’s our neighbor.

December 14: Snow, lovely snow! 8” last night. The temperature
Dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind
Took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and
Sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon
And buried everything again. I didn’t realize I would have to do
Quite this much shoveling, but I’ll certainly get back in shape this
Way. I wish I wouldn’t huff and puff so.

December 15: 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4
Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife’s car and two extra shovels.
Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the
Electricity goes out. I think that’s silly. We aren’t in Alaska,
After all.

December 16: Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in
The driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed
For an hour, which I think was very cruel.

December 17: Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go
Anywhere. Electricity was off for five hours. I had to pile the
Blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and
Try not to irritate her. Guess I should’ve bought a wood stove, but
Won’t admit it to her. I hate it when she’s right. I can’t believe
I’m freezing to death in my own living room.

December 20: Electricity’s back on, but had another 14” of the damn
Stuff last night. More shoveling... Took all day. Damn snowplow
Came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they
Said they’re too busy playing hockey. I think they’re lying.
Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow
Blower, and they’re out. Might have another shipment in March. I
Think they’re lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will
Have it done and bill me. I think he’s lying.

December 22: Bob was right about a white Christmas, because 13 more
Inches of the white s*** fell today, and it’s so cold it probably
Won’t melt ‘til August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to
Go out to shovel, and then I had to ****. By the time I got
Undressed, **** and dressed again, I was too tired to shovel!
Tried to hire Bob, who has a plow on his truck, for the rest of the
Winter; but he says he’s too busy. I think the a***^ole is lying.

December 23: Only 2” of snow today, and it warmed up to “0”. The
Wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning.
What, is she nuts!!! Why didn’t she tell me to do that a month ago?
She says she did, but I think she’s lying.

December 24: 6”. Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the
Shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the
S-o-b who drives that snowplow, I’ll drag him through the
Snow by his b*** and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I
Know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling
And then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws
Snow all over everywhere I’ve just been! Tonight the wife wanted me
To sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was
Too busy watching for the ******* snowplow.

December 25: Merry F!=3D@x@!x!x1 Christmas. 20 more inches of the
!=3D@x@!x!x1 slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes
my blood boil. I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came
by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel.
The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she’s a fricking
idiot. If I have to watch “It’s a Wonderful Life” one more time,
I’m going to stuff her into the microwave.

December 26: Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here?
It was all HER idea. She’s really getting on my nerves.

December 27: Temperature dropped to -30, and the pipes froze.
Plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him; he only charged me
$1,400 to replace all my pipes.

December 28: Warmed up to above -50. Still snowed in. The *****
is driving me crazy!!!!!

December 29: 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or
it could cave in. That’s the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb
does he think I am?

December 30: Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver. He is
now suing me for a million dollars; not for only the beating I gave
him, but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his ***.
The wife went home to her mother. 9” predicted.

December 31: I set fire to what’s left of the house. No more
shoveling.

January 8: Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they
keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?

And this is called global warming.

[dinoparty]

Another example that a storm is only serious if it hits the east coast. If it hits elsewhere, it might get a mention in the evening national news, but not likely.

[a fool in paradise]

Has anyone seen Al Gore lately?

[OrangeHoof]

Anything that makes Washington grind to a halt is a welcome sight in my opinion.

[RedMDer]

I guess there are worse places to be stuck.
We’re in WDW and in a tornado warning. It just pushed our return to BWI back 28 hours.
:)

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

I'm here at work, about to do a night shift in Silver Spring, MD, while my Mom rides the storm out in my house. I'm worried about her, and I won't be able to get back home until at least tomorrow evening. It p!sses me off sometimes, thinking about the misery that the self-indulgent, Obama-worshipping Global Warming (TM) crowd has in store for us while this crap is going on.

(Cogitator, you're exempted from the above crowd, as you seem to have more reason than most of these people. However, I still disagree with even your solution. If we ever meet in person, or I meet another pro-AGW Freeper, I shall simply try to talk you (him/her) out of the thing. The rest of these people can go to H*ll!)

The Global Warmers can have my lawnmower and my Mom's SUV when they pry them out of my cold, dead fingers. By the time they arrive, hopefully I will have purchased a shotgun, so that I can make it a really long day for them.

COME AND TAKE THEM, YOU B@ST@RDS!

(Oh the weather outside is frightful, etc., etc.)

DOOMAGE!

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[Fresh Wind]

I heard Joe Bastardi say a little while ago that the rest of the winter would be really bad, but that it doesn’t mean we’re going into an ice age.

What a relief. We still have Global Whorming.

[Allegra]

I’ve got family in the DC area. They’re telling me that even gas stations are running out of gas.

[Spktyr]

I hope that the system sits there and dumps snow over the area for about a week.

[SilvieWaldorfMD]

For your Maryland Ping List

[TakeCABack]

My roomate just moved to Baltimore for 4 months of work out there. He’s only been there 4 days and we’re from CA. poor guy...

[Windflier]

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

Maryland PING!

[newgeezer]

Hundreds protest global warming

[Ernest_at_the_Beach]

Related thread:

Washington D. C. - Special Weather Statement

I posted after looking around but didn't see yours.

[SunkenCiv]

Glad I invested in that snow shovel company. Thanks NormsRevenge.

[greyfoxx39]

Prayers going out for all the FReepers affected by this example of “Globull Warming”...stay safe you all!

[SamAdams76]

Women and minorities hardest hit.

[RockinRight]

Sitting in Howard County, MD, still thinking this might be a big dud. About 4 inches have fallen and it’s coming down hard, but, the rain/snow line has moved all the way as far north as the southern tip of the District...when all the weather dudes said it would stay WELL south of DC. I’m thinking we get about 6, then a changeover to rain, then peters out.

This just had so many characteristics of a classic overhyped dud.