Posted on 09/08/2009 4:47:10 AM PDT by Kaslin
Every time I write about how the modern culture seems dead-set on destroying the confidence of America's little boys, I am swamped with e-mail. It seems that everyone with a son or grandson has a story to tell about how manhood and chivalry are under attack. Last week I heard from a dad, Bill, who echoes the sentiments of many: "The boys are getting emasculated and wimpy/passive as they're now intimidated by girls due to fear of sex harassment charges and pro-female/anti male societal/educational tilts."
Sadly, he's right. As a mom of two sons and a youth leader I have seen how boys cringe when television shows depict boys as crude and stupid while the girls are always smart and powerful. I've experienced their confusion when girls snub them for opening the door. One day I observed the pained looks on the faces of male highschool students when a teacher explained that a major assignment would be to watch a movie of their choice and write a paper on how women in the film are discriminated against.
The attacks on our boys are endless and very purposeful: if they are taught to be nothing more than crude dolts then they will become emasculated men who keep to themselves. And the women will end up wearing the pants.
I've also observed on countless occasions a minor, but powerful, display of how ours is quickly becoming a culture where men are having trouble being men: females struggling alone to lift a heavy suitcase into the overhead compartment on a plane all the while surrounded by men who pretend they don't see.
My reader, Bill, also said:
"The feminists that sold us on there being no discernable difference between men and women except their plumbing have done an immeasurable disservice to women, the family, and hence society."
I would add that this trend toward emasculation is also destroying the dignity and potential of countless young boys.
Decide to raise your sons to be gentlemen - that means teaching them to be both courageous and considerate. To create young men of valor, you have to spend a significant amount of time deprogramming them of the lies the culture bombards them with at every turn. Talk about the raunchy scenes in TV shows, commercials and music that depict males as irrelevant or disposable. Or better yet, filter out those messages altogether.
If you are a dad or the primary male in the life of a boy, the most effective method to ensure that he becomes a man of dignity is to consciously model the behavior for him. If you are a mom with no positive adult male to help you raise your son, find one.
Seek out great organizations like the Boy Scouts or find a church family that will help you. In the meantime, develop a habit of reading stories of brave, kind men so they can imagine themselves becoming that way too. One great resource for books, tapes and movies to help you raise boys you can be proud of is www.VisionForum.com.
America really needs more than just a few good men - help your son be one of them.
It's ignorant.
OTOH, I've witnessed many women who don't say "thank you" when a man holds the door for them. That's ignorant as well.
sw
Extremely baggy shorts on teenage boys. You’ve never seen any? You’re lucky!
I hate to tell you this but this can be a 'required behavior' as taught by 'sexual harassment counselors'. Even now I find this hard to write but 9 years ago I was in competition with a female co-worker and got hit with a harassment complaint. I was raised military and taught politeness and courtesy from the beginning.
I was required to attend 3 'counseling sessions' where I learned that I could never do the following; compliment a woman on her appearance, touch a woman even at the shoulder (I was behind her leaning into a doorway and tipped a bit), say anything about beauty even to a male co-worker that could be misconstrued. Finally, to your comment above, I was told to avoid following a woman as it might appear I was looking at her posterior.
I ended up leaving that workplace which did accomplish my rivals goal. Once you have that mark on your record, it is impossible to fight in my opinion.
I bought that one and the equivalent for girls.
There are skills that all children should know about.
Super! I bought both as well for my grand children. They are FUN and DO teach skills that promote problem solving, common sense and REAL self-esteem.
“I admire the women’s movement,
“Especially when I’m walking behind it!”
- El Rushbo
Get over it. It’s just a term. MEN know that women are stronger in MANY areas than we are. That’s why we love you. That’s why we cherish you for your “fairness” and delicate compassionate nature.
Be happy that there are still a few MEN around to hold the door open for you, to jump between you and danger without hesitation when it presents itself. Having real men around you is like having your own Secret Service 24/7.
Would you be first in line when the call for “women and children first” is broadcast from the Captain of a sinking ship. We (real MEN) would and have always demanded that code be followed.
It ain’t gonna’ change, missy. Live with it and enjoy the advantage of being deemed the fairer sex.
Oh, I don’t doubt it a moment about what you say. It’s a madness that some stupid liberal woman started that has confused the world. I just don’t understand how opening and holding a door for some one can be construed as sexual harassment. The world is screwy anyway.
Excuse me But I don’t have TO GET OVER IT!
...I've also observed on countless occasions a minor, but powerful, display of how ours is quickly becoming a culture where men are having trouble being men: females struggling alone to lift a heavy suitcase into the overhead compartment on a plane all the while surrounded by men who pretend they don't see...
These two things might be connected...
I would think being insulted by the female you are trying to help / be polite to would definitely make an impression on future behavior.
bump
Even I know not to do those things. I known with a lot of sexual harassers over the years. Some of them were women. I keep everything on the up and up. I avoid women whenever possible
We went through sexual harassment training after the Clarence Thomas hearings. Then Clinton got elected and sexual harassment became a privilege of power. The number of work affairs skyrocketed under Clinton.
Two weeks ago, at my “always” supermarket, I saw a woman perilously trying to get something from the TOP shelf. I didn’t like the way she was up on only one foot, balancing her one hand on the handle of her cart while she stretched for that whatever.
Being a “normal” 6’5” man, I said that, “I can get that for you.”
With a snarl, I was informed that she was quite capable of doing her own shopping, thank you very much.
Having been put in my place, I continued down the aisle just as she dislodged the bottom box AND her cart rolled at the some moment. Down she went, down came the entire display of boxes (thankfully light) onto her, as her rolling cart knocked down a little girl five feet away.
No, I did NOT help her up. I did pick up the little girl and handed her to her mother, whose back had been turned. The mother thanked me and told her daughter to “Thank the nice MAN.”
“You are welcome” and we went out separate ways.
LOL. Of course, you are.
I know it means something different to a “traditionalist” than it does to many others. But, I think that term has been tainted over they years to be more demeaning.
I say this is a job for you “traditionalist” gentlemen. Make “fairer sex” mean something good once again.
(kudos to your son too!)
You ARE a nice man, and I would have gratefully accepted your help as I’ve often cursed under my breath trying to get stuff off the top shelf.
“I keep everything on the up and up. I avoid women whenever possible”
hubby is in a spot where he dare not meet w/ female co-workers without the presence of his female secretary lest he be accused of something later.
I think you’re overstating a bit, but you are basically correct that there are lots of single men who just won’t take a woman with children seriously as a potential companion. Too much baggage. It’s simply not worth the trouble.
It’s not difficult for a man to find a woman without children, so many men opt for that choice.
= bad adult leadership. Properly planned, led, and delivered Boy Scout programs should develop boys into men with leadership skills all the way to age 18. Other posters have mentioned key elements: real work, outdoor challenge, leadership opportunities, etc. I say this from the perspective of former adult Scout leader (Scoutmaster, Committee Chair, District Roundtable, Philmont trek advisor) and father of an Eagle Scout. The other programs you mention have good male role models involved, I'm sure, but since I have experienced good Scouting, I am a firm believer.
I only did the shoulder touch once when leaning and tipping into an office doorway to hear our boss's orders but that was enough to establish 'proof' for my boss when I was accused. I did open doors and let people into the elevator ahead of me and I was polite which 'proved the case'.
We do live in a sadly debased world today because of both mal-mannered males AND power hungry females. We now have to walk through minefields where the most easily offended set the behavior bar.
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