Posted on 09/04/2009 8:29:57 AM PDT by TigerLikesRooster
China 'covers suicide bridge in butter'
Government officials in south-east China have ordered workers to cover a 1,000 ft long steel bridge in butter to prevent citizens from using it to attempt suicide.
All the climbable surfaces on the structure in Guangzhou have been covered in greasy fat to put an end to the spate of people threatening to jump from it, The Sun reports.
Government spokesman Shiu Liang said: "We tried employing guards at both ends but that didn't work - and we put up special fences and notices asking people not to commit suicide here.
"None of it worked - and so now we have put butter over the bridge and it has worked very well. Nobody can get up there and nobody who tries ever falls."
Bridge guard Wong Man added: "The butter makes the bars and frames slippery and hard to climb on to, and we can easily catch them.
"Each time somebody threatens to commit suicide to get media attention or sympathy over personal problems we end up with several hours of tailbacks and there were lots of complaints.
"Since we put up the butter there have been no problems with these attention seekers."
Ping!
Oh boy, the smell will be enough to repel most. And consider what will grow there.
I doubt totalitarian states have much thinking ability.
Gee, I thought China was such a great workers’ paradise ... why do they find it necessary to prevent their workers from checking out? /s off ... sorta
"Since we put up the butter there have been no problems with these attention seekers."
China's getting soft. Back in the "good old dsys", people who threatened suicide would be shot as enemies of the revolution. You don't get to waste Chairman Mao's time by threatening to kill yourself and issuing demands. Nope, bang, splash and get the roadway back open again. Be sure to leave your next of kin's name so we know who to charge for the bullet.
Yup, when you have no hope, that’s what happens.
And, we’re heading that way under the Obamaloons.
The revolt is coming.
Disobeying the very clear and helpful "NO SUICIDE HERE" signs?
That is so incredibly rude of those self-destructive people!
Why would anyone want to kill themselves in a Communist Utopia?
The Brits did the same to front of trains in the early 20th Century to prevent Muslim terrorists, er insurgents, from derailing them. They used pig fat................
He's the Wong Man at the Wong Time.
Probably killing themselves because of the well documented butter shortage in China.
Sure is! but now those poor people are exposed to those terrible trans-fats and dairy products! Oh the humanity!
If it was here, there would be some kind of "obesity suit"
Here the signs would have had to be in three languages
and BRAILE.
Butter bridges? What’s next Parkay Floors?
If you wish to commit suicide, please take the issue to your local Death Panel.
Just shoot the next one
USA needs to start a ‘rumor’ that american gun cleaning kits used by our military contain lubrication that has a component of pig fat
Make it sound all techinical, so it is not like we are announcing that were are dipping bullets in bacon grease (that would be insesitive to terrorists! but is another good idea)
don’t release it in official channels
just spread it by word of mouth until all the diaper-heads think it is true
Reminds me of the “Old West Days” celebrations we had in our High School in the 1950s. They started at noon on a particular day planned in advance. We always had a greased pole climbing contest for the boys. It was for the boys because no girl would take part in it because we might get dirty, or mussed. We just sat on the bleachers and cheered the boys on in their messy activities.
We also had a “bearded man” contest. Those who couldn’t grow a beard had to buy and wear a “smoothie sign”, or get “arrested”. And there was a huge tug-o-war over a mud pit. And a greased pig chasing contest — again, all for the boys. We ended the festivities with a barn dance in the evening. Girls really didn’t have any special activities,that I remember, except for planning the dance and wearing old west costumes to school.
Sometimes only a physical barrier will work.
What? No Kissing Booth? ;)
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