Can't you see that these children are deprived, unhealthy and unhappy? /S
Posted on 09/01/2009 10:09:12 PM PDT by GoldStandard
Sometimes, 18 kids is simply not enough, so Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar of Tonitown, Ark., are expecting a new addition to their household this spring.
That's right, at that point they will have five more children than Nadya "Octomom" Suleman and 11 more children than Jon and Kate Gosselin. Wow.
"We are so thrilled," says Michelle, 42. "We just can't believe it is happening."
You can't, Michelle? Not after the previous 18 times you were pregnant?
Her husband, Jim Bob Duggar, 44, agrees: "I never gets old. We are so grateful for each child. We look forward to our first grand baby and 19th child."
Their first grandchild is due soon, as their oldest son Joshua, 21, is apparently getting a fast start in joining the family profession of making humans.
He and his wife are expecting a daughter next month, who will be older than her new aunt or uncle: "I think it is going to be awesome," Josh said.
(Excerpt) Read more at thehollywoodgossip.com ...
Has this thread died? I was just about to post an interesting piece of information.
It’s not dead. Post away!
You know what, hun?
Anyone can have a "child with problems" at any age. It is not in your hands, it is in G_d's.
The statistics regarding women over 40 giving birth to Down Syndrome babies and still births are skewered, because the number of "first time mothers over 40" dramatically increased, and hence, the increased number those births also increased.
The risk wasn't for women over 40 in general, but for "first pregnancies in women over 40."
Mrs. Duggar, at age 42, is not having her first baby. Far from it.
Congratulations and best wishes to her and the Duggar family.
Can't you see that these children are deprived, unhealthy and unhappy? /S
I had a child at 41 yrs old. She is perfect. She is a blessing & even if she hadn’t been perfect she would have been in our eyes. I was the health risk & my doctor told me to abort for my sake which I refused to do. I know plenty of children born to older mothers & they aren’t handicapped. I was a late baby myself. Why do you want to mind their business?
I don’t think the man is being a good husband in the sense that he is being careless with his wife’s health. That is not loving his wife. Eventually her body might just give out, with disastrous consequences.
Even if they do not believe in birth control, there is no reason why the husband cannot show some restraint. I feel sorry for this poor woman and for the kids. She must be physically and emotionally drained, and the children can hardly be getting any quality parental time. In many large families such as this, the oldest daughters are drafted into being the substitute mothers to the younger children.
No, I do not think this is what God intended when he told us to be fruitful and multiply.
I should watch this show, this family seems to be a lot like my dad’s but more affluent. His father had a homestead in northern Minnesota, and was an iron miner in the off season.
Hmm, that’s not what I saw when he was asked in an interview if they were having any more kids. He said it was up to her since she had to go through pregnancy and childbirth.
Sounds like he is all for it but lets her decide...cool guy
What makes you think that this guy is raping his wife. If he is not the responsibility is theirs.
Good for them. They support their own children, not the rest of us. This is what freedom is all about.
Why do you assume the man is forcing his wife to have children? Most of the families with many children I know the wife is quite insistent about it.
I did not say he was raping her. It is his responsibilty to care for and love his wife. Surely a doctor has told them that every pregnancy after about #7 is high risk for the woman. Even if she is willing to have more children, it is the husband’s responsibility to care for her and preserve her health to the best of his ability. This means not impregnating her every year.
I’ve a cousin in Ireland who is the eldest of seventeen children.
Please see my post - #115.
As head of the household and as a husband (as in the word “husbandry”, which means to look after), it is the man’s responsibility to care for his wife and his children and to be a good steward of not just the family finances, but the entire family, as much as he is able. At some point, there is no way he can be a father to all those chidlren, except in the biological sense. He also has to know that he is quite possibly risking his wife’s life, withe each pregnancy. So, whether she is for it or not, he is to take the lead, and do what is best for her. This is part of God’s command for a husband to love his wife.
As a family project the Duggars built a 7000 sq. ft. home debt free! Both Jim Bob and Michelle are licensed real estate agents.They often host and facilitate the Jim Sammon’s Financial Freedom Seminar. Jim Bob served in the Arkansas House of Representatives from 1999 to 2003 and was a candidate for the U.S. Senate in 2002.
Our #1 goal is to lead our children to seek a close relationship with God & give Him every area of their lives. We purpose to start each day with a family Bible study, reading a chapter of Proverbs that corresponds with the day of the month. We have heart to heart talks with each of the older children regularly. We try to keep up with their attitudes & actions.
We desire for each child to develop a learning spirit & a servant’s heart that looks for opportunities to serve others. It is a joy to see our children becoming best friends. If they can learn to treat their brothers and sisters like they want to be treated, then they can learn to get along with just about anyone along life’s way.
We try to begin our daily routine with personal hygiene (get dressed, brush teeth, comb hair, etc...). Each older child has a younger buddy (or two) that they help. We eat breakfast & read the Proverb of the day at 8:00AM, then we “quick clean” the house (older child & their buddy work together to clean their jurisdictions).
Throughout the day we try to pickup as we go along, but naturally things tend toward disorder. So, it is a constant training process with “quick clean” times throughout the day. At 9:00AM, the older children help their buddies with their studies in phonics, math, violin & piano (J-O-Y- Jesus first, Others second, & Yourself last!). Then the older children start their music & individual studies - Math, English, Spelling & Typing.
We break for lunch around 12PM. Often one of the older children help prepare lunch & we all help cleanup. After lunch we work to finish individual studies.
Around 1:30PM the little ones go down for naps (4 & under). Momma & older children gather around the table at 2:00PM for Wisdom Booklet group studies - science, history, law, medicine - part of our ATIA curriculm. We work on one subject until we complete the study. We also review & memorize scripture, hymns & operational definitions of character qualities. The children especially enjoy this because they make up motions to help with memorization.
At 4:00PM, we break from group study to complete individual studies, otherwise this is free time. Dinner is scheduled for 5:00PM. Some of the older girls prepare dinner & everyone helps cleanup. We do another “quick clean” of the house after dinner & then have free time. Some may still be finishing up music, seeing we have to take turns on the pianos with 11 students! 8PM is snack time. Then we start getting ready for bed (baths, brush teeth, pick out clothes for the next day).
9:00PM is Bible time with Daddy. This is probably our favorite time of day. Daddy reads the Bible & we discuss the passage together. We talk about the day & bring out points of how to apply what we have learned. We enjoy making up skits & acting out examples of right responses & wrong responses. Often our little ones will fall asleep as Daddy begins Bible time, still they love to be with us at this special time. Bedtime falls around 10:00PM.
We have a master schedule of each family member’s responsibilities displayed on our kitchen wall. This idea came from the Maxwell’s, “Managers of Their Homes”. For each month, we also have individual daily checklists which cover schoolwork, chores, music lessons, & personal hygiene. These were designed by Daddy so we could see at a glance how each child is doing. These checklists enable us to keep our children accountable & also reward them accordingly.
We have goals, but then we have reality! We are learning to practice flexibility -Not setting our affections on ideas or plans which could be changed by God or others! Sometimes we have “Daddy Days” when Daddy overrides the schedule and takes the children out for family time, a field trip or a service project. We try to make each day fun. Everyday is an exciting adventure!
Matthew 6:33 says, “Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you!”
II Corinthians 12:9 says,” My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”
How do you support such a large family? Especially with the economy the way it is these days, tips on how you manage to support so many people?
We have lived very frugally, and our family motto is to “Buy used and saved the difference!” We shop at thrift stores and garage sales.
About 19 years ago, I (Jim Bob) went to a bank to inquire about borrowing a large sum of money to expand my business. A few days later, a successful businessman invited the men from our church out to his house every Friday morning for breakfast and to watch the “ Jim Sammon’s Financial Freedom Seminar”. I agreed to attend, as well as 50 other men. After just seeing the first session, the truths from God’s Word being taught through Mr. Sammons began to convict me of my need to “owe no man anything but love.” I decided right then to postpone the loan. I continued to attend the seminar, and after 20 weeks (to my amazement), God totally changed my view of not only His purposes for finances, but also how we are to be wise stewards of everything God entrusts to us. Later that year, this man had the seminar at our church and Michelle & I were able to attend the seminar together. After we both heard the testimonies of God’s methods for finances, Michelle & I purposed to become debt-free. As we have chosen to trust Him, I have seen God provide for our family in ways that are supernatural. I encourage every family to watch this seminar, the testimonies Jim Sammons shares are so encouraging that our family enjoys watching it together. He challenges you to give every area of your life to God. You can now purchase this seminar on DVD and the Men’s Manual Vol. 2 textbook that goes with it for only $109. This will be the best investment you have ever made. It has saved us and made us thousands by applying Biblical principles to every decision of life. (We do not make anything off this we just want to encourage others with resources that have helped our family.)
When you have to concentrate on running such a large family, how do you allow each child to shine individually? I know that you teach them all responsibility and core family values, but each child also has a wonderful individual personality...how can parents nurture that?
Praise your children ten times more than you correct them! That is the counsel we received early on and what we have attempted to do all these years. Granted we have not always successfully carried it out everyday but that has been our goal. Praising good character instead of flattering is a learned technique! It’s fine to occasionally praise the outward beauty of a daughter, but if that is all you praise, that is all they will focus on. You first have to learn the definitions of the character qualities to be able to effectively praise others. Here is our favorite list. (Click here for the incredible list of Character Quality Defintions.) We keep these posted on our refrigerator and we memorize the definitions as a family with motions. The children enjoy making motions to the definitions.
Encouragement goes a long way in good behavior. Saying comments such as, “I’m so happy for you, what a big girl you are you practiced self-control and went potty all by yourself! Great job!” or “Thank you for taking out the trash without even being asked. I’m so encouraged by your initiative. You saw what needed to be done and just did it! You encourage me to have more of a servant’s heart.” These kind of positive statements will make our children seek to become even more of who they should be.
Remember anger outbursts from parents will push our children away and undermine the very right character that we are trying to teach them. Asking God and others forgiveness when we react in anger is the first step to learning to respond correctly. One thing that helped me (Michelle) was to purpose to lower my voice when I felt myself getting angry. (A soft answer turns away wrath. The wrath of man will not bring forth the righteousness of God.) Meaning my anger will not bring about the right behavior I desire to see nurtured in my children. Secondly, Jim Bob heard another father share that he had an anger problem and he asked his family to help him by keeping him accountable. If they noticed him getting angry he gave them permission to respectfully come to him and put their hand on his arm and whisper in his ear and say, “Daddy, I think you are getting angry.” This has been something that we have practiced for years now and by God’s grace we have been able to encourage each other to speak kindly to one another even when we feel angry. Not just Daddy and Momma, but all of us now hold each other accountable. It makes for a much more peaceful happy home.
What is the most difficult thing about having a large family?
The hardest thing about raising any number of children is purposing to keep up with their hearts. With as many as we have that is a fulltime job. We try to have regular talks with each one individually on a weekly basis. It is important to learn how to ask the right questions and not have a condemning spirit. They need to know they have a safe place to share their hopes and dreams, challenges and mistakes. This creates a very close relationship.
What is the most wonderful thing about having a large family?
It is fun spending time with 19 of your best friends. It is a blast everywhere we go. There is never a dull moment!
What are your top five best parenting tips? (For parents with families of all sizes.)
Teach our children to love God with all of their heart, soul, mind and strength, and memorize God’s word together as a family.
Teach them to have a servant’s heart, leading by your example. Love your neighbor as yourself.
Daily read the Proverb of the Day that corresponds with the day of the month and discuss it as a family.
Diligently keep up with each child’s attitudes and actions and ask what is going on in their heart. Pray with them one on one letting them lead in prayer and then you closing the prayer time together.
Ask God to help you conquer anger because it can destroy your relationship with your children. Praise them ten times more than you correct them.
http://www.duggarfamily.com/faq.html
What an antique idea of the responsibilities within a marriage. Has it occurred to you that if she is determined to have another child that she can arrange for it without his knowledge or assistance.
what an inspiration
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.