Posted on 08/28/2009 1:31:53 PM PDT by RKV
In August 1979, I took my last drink. It was about four o'clock on a Saturday afternoon, the hot sun streaming through the windows of my little carriage house on Dickens. I put a glass of scotch and soda down on the living room table, went to bed, and pulled the blankets over my head. I couldn't take it any more.
On Monday I went to visit wise old Dr. Jakob Schlichter. I had been seeing him for a year, telling him I thought I might be drinking too much. He agreed, and advised me to go to "A.A.A," which is what he called it. Sounded like a place where they taught you to drink and drive. I said I didn't need to go to any meetings. I would stop drinking on my own. He told me to go ahead and try, and check back with him every month.
The problem with using will power, for me, was that it lasted only until my will persuaded me I could take another drink. ...
A.A. believes there is an enormous difference between bring dry and being sober. It is not enough to simply abstain. You need to heal and repair the damage to yourself and others. We talk about "white-knuckle sobriety," which might mean, "I'm sober as long as I hold onto the arms of this chair." People who are dry but not sober are on a "dry drunk."
...
(Excerpt) Read more at blogs.suntimes.com ...
Same here.
Steps & Traditions. First I’ve heard of “Concepts”.
I think the Al-Anon “concepts” were ratified in 1984. I think the AA 12 concepts were ratified in 1962. The next time you go to a meeting you can ask about the pamphlet
http://www.al-anon.ab.ca/legacies/12concepts.html
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/legacies.html
On this website, the copyright for the concepts is 1996. http://www.minnesotasouth-al-anon.org/concepts.htm
Al-Anon’s Twelve Concepts, © 1996 by Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc.
???????? Angry? No.
O-k.
It’s Al-Anon. Explains why I’ve never heard of it.
It’s Al-Anon. Explains why I’ve never heard of it.
***It’s in AA as well. Here it says on AA’s website that the 12 concepts were adopted in 1962.
http://www.aa.org/results.cfm?results=12+concepts
I noticed that as well and just couldn't hack it. There were people there complaining about what their drunk mother/father had done....60 years earlier.
And it seemed to me that it wasn't possible to follow the Al-Alon or, for that matter, the AA model and also be a Christian and observe ones marriage vows.
After all, if it's a disease there's that "better or worse, sickness and health" clause and it looked to me that that was contrary to the AA/Al-Anon message.
I'm glad it works for some, no, I'm elated it works for some, but doggone if caring for my wife, drunk or not, makes me an "enabler" then it's not working for me.
Sorry, didn't mean to go off like that, but sheesh, there aren't too many outlets left...
Just look at the controversy on this thread.
The Traditions is what keeps "it" working!
Thanks for the link!
I completely understand. A few people (who are no longer friends) said I should throw in the towel, but I had three young boys depending upon me and I really LOVED my husband! I loved his family as well and I loved the life we had all built together. I had a LOT to lose. I saw his addictions as a problem we needed to work through, not the END to our marriage. One day at a time INDEED, LOL!
Of course, I’m not one to be a doormat. If I hadn’t seen him change and work really, really hard to be an upstanding husband and father, I would’ve made a different decision.
He chose love and family over self-destruction. :) Sadly, some people can’t.
A.A. raised me. I came in at 18, then for good at 21 and being the youngest of a very large family and parents that were neglectful as they both had their demons, I always took care of myself. I grew up in A.A.. I owe A.A. and God my life because they gave it back to me and showed me the way. Many blessings to you.
Oh golly. Oh gee. I don't know ANYONE like that . . . gulp. LOL.
Guilty as charged. It is probably the biggest defect of character I deal with. Interesting too it also ties in with no trusting others. (Besides the grandiosity and control). Isn't it amazing the layers that present themselves when the steps are worked and days of sobriety add up?
I have seen dry drunks who go to meetings and are still so grandiose that they must bring their’posse’ with them wherever they go. They always having a ‘burning desire’ to talk and when asked to limit their comments to X number of minutes they most always go 2.5X.
I must admit I do get a major resentment, especially at the latter. It is just the height of irony and obliviousness. Guess it gives me an opportunity to work a program.
Must be why I’m single.
Yeah, I let a sponsor pick me once, then when I was about 2-3 months sober he calls up and says "hey, I need a place to stay."
KAK! That’s exactly it. So many creepy sponsor-types. I just don’t fit in very well in those circles. It’s not that I’m better than the people that stay in meetings for decades, but I’m back to being too busy. Maybe I should go, though, and wear my 8.5 years like a badge, and act like I know something the newcomers don’t.
Yup. I always get challenged to be a better me.
I love the 3rd step prayer particularly the part “...Relieve me of the bondage of self....let me do thy will always.”
Thanks and congratulations for turning it over. I was 45 when I went to my first AA meeting and have been clean and sober since. I also stopped smoking on the same date; which wasn’t recommended by my sponsor.
Keep working the Steps and many blessings to you.
agreed on the 'ebert is a lefty ass' portion...
at first I wondered about blowin the traditions, but grandiosity is his middle name...
as the quote sums up, we are blinded to the world around us until we choose to see it...
congrats cc...but keep the seed of support just in case...
I was just shy of ten yrs 9&1/2 of it without AA, got drunk and floundered for 18 mos before reaching out fer help...
in treatment, my counsellor asked me point blank why I simply hadnt called the AA hotline? which to my amazement, I had no idea why not...
Rob is the listholder guys...
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