1) Buy a Helmet
2)Put the damn helmet on.
Posted on 07/14/2009 5:42:52 PM PDT by stevie_d_64
WASHINGTON – The Homeland Security Department will review and possibly replace the often-ridiculed multicolored terror alert system created after the Sept. 11, 2001 attacks. Since it was created in 2002, the system has been confusing and became the butt of jokes by late-night television comics.
Critics have said assigning different categories to different colors is too vague an approach to deliver enough information to be useful. And Democrats said the Bush administration used it for political manipulation.
Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano appointed a task force Tuesday to determine in 60 days how effective the current system is.
"My goal is simple: to have the most effective system in place to inform the American people about threats to our country," Napolitano said in a statement.
The 17-member task force consists of Democrats and Republicans and will be chaired by former FBI Director William Webster and the former White House homeland security adviser, Fran Townsend.
The system which goes from green, signaling a low danger of attack, to red, signaling a severe threat of attack, could get an overhaul — or could be eliminated entirely.
(Excerpt) Read more at news.yahoo.com ...
Wow, everyday we are getting back to that normalcy before 9-11...
As if the DHS didn’t have anything better to do but roll back some indicators that we might actually be threatened with another attack...
I guess this works for those people in this counry that do not believe we are at war, and that everyone likes us...
I guess if it’s simpler for them, that makes it ok...
Then the government can be all surprised/shocked/ and get ready to write a stern letter to the bad guys, when the next one hits...
Good thinkun’
/sarc
Well......some things do need to change, like opening the bathrooms on the BART system. I refuse to believe that terrorists want to blow up bathrooms and besides, well, lets just say I’m not as young as I used to be........
Well, if they do not understand the concept of “when you gotta go, you gotta go!”, then I believe they are wrong in keeping facilities like that closed...
Unless they want everyone to feel like homeless people...
You know I see signs all over downtown areas where those folks just have to go...And do they go! I don’t blame them one bit...
But then again...What was it I heard about the facilities around the BART system that made it kinda creepy???
1) Buy a Helmet
2)Put the damn helmet on.
1. Closeted
2. Limp-wristed
3. Flaming
4. Chissy Matthews watching an Obama Speech.
Only one color needed to represent cheesedick Obama's new terror response system. Barry's a moron and we're f**ked.
-------------------------------------
Alternate Ded Dwarf reference:
RIMMER: Go to blue alert.
LISTER: What for? There's no-one to alert - we're all here.
RIMMER: I would just feel more comfortable if I know that we're all on our toes 'cos everyone's aware it's a blue-alert situation.
LISTER: We all are on our toes.
RIMMER: May I remind you all of Space Corps Directive 34124?
KRYTEN: 34124. "No officer with false teeth should attempt oral sex in zero gravity".
RIMMER: Damn you both, all the way to Hades! I want to go to Blue Alert!
LISTER: Ok, ok.
LISTER presses a button. The "Alert" box on the wall starts to flash blue.
RIMMER: Thank you. A bit of professionalism.
KRYTEN: Wait! I've got something - I'm punching it up.
Model Shot.
We see a view of an orange, comet-like thing speeding through space
Int. Cockpit.
LISTER: Too small for a vessel... maybe some kind of missile.
KRYTEN: It's impossible to tell at this range. Whatever it is, they clearly have a technology way in advance of our own!
LISTER: So do the Albanian State Washing Machine Company.
RIMMER: Step up to red alert!
KRYTEN: Sir, are you absolutely sure? It does mean changing the bulb.
RIMMER: There's always some excuse, isn't there?
The NAVY also used it for rating us on our production readiness review and MEP review in 1988 when I worked for General Dynamics.
It is pretty much a common usage scenario except when congresscritters are involved. They'll probably make the color codes more gay friendly, "Today's condition is lavender changing from a teal".
I thought the whole color alert terror deal was silly from the get go. Something to placate the masses as a “see we really ARE doing something that we can show you” production.
Just like that atomic scientist Doomsday clock deal. How do you know it’s midnight on the Doomsday Clock? If it strikes 12, you won’t need a clock to “know what time” it is.
A seventeen member panel to figure it out...
That’s probably enough.
Absolute certainty of attack = White with camo trim.
Very high likely hood of attack = White with brass and lead grey trim
High likely hood of attack = White with purple trim
Moderate likely hood of attack = Elephant grey
Low likely hood of attack = Ice blue
No probable attack = Red with green trim
No conceivable attack = Red with fur brown trim
Absolutely no possible attack = Black with red and brown trim
Absolutely no possible attack in the future = Yellow with red trim
Absolutely no possible attack in the future from other planets = Black with black trim
Obama Homeland Security Alert System
Chocolate - Obama cornered
Jamoca - Run Obama Run, they on to you!
Blueberry - Obama promises missile shield to 100 mil survivors
Mecca Madness Pistachio - Obama - Oh Shit! Iran delivers nuke
Yellow Jello Cream - Obama running from Michelle
Pumpkin - Obama gettin' what for from Michelle
Raspberry - Obama being criticized
Vanilla - Obama gamein' on most white folk
what happen to numbers, wasn’t there a level 5, on down to level 1, high to low level of threat?
Department of Defense conditions...
Called DefCon...
DefCon 1 (put yer head between your knees and kiss it goodbye)
DefCon 2 (almost there!)
DefCon 3 (Call Mommy)
DefCon 4 (Should have put in for that leave period)
DefCon 5 (How’s buying the pizza tonight?)
Still, “You can’t fix Stupid!”
Best part of the show!!!
thanks, i knew it was something like that, why do they always think they need to improve on something thats not broke ( if ain’t broke, don’t fix it ) , i think thats how we ended up in this mess in the first place with alot of things, the things that do need to be changed, they seem to ignore.
I love to see my name in print.
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