Replies

HOLLY: Rude alert! Rude alert! An electrical fire has knocked out my voice recognition unicycle! Many Wurlitzers are missing from my database! Abandon shop! This is not a daffodil. Repeat: This is not a daffodil!
RIMMER: Well, thankfully Holly's unaffected.
KRYTEN: The engine core is approaching critical mass! We'll have meltdown in less than fifteen minutes!
RIMMER: Er, I think a brisk stroll in the direction of the cargo bay could be an outstanding career move at this point.
LISTER: What are you saying? Red Dwarf's gonna blow?
KRYTEN: In less time than it takes a Norwegian to buy ski-boots!

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Alternate Ded Dwarf reference:

RIMMER: Go to blue alert.
LISTER: What for? There's no-one to alert - we're all here.
RIMMER: I would just feel more comfortable if I know that we're all on our toes 'cos everyone's aware it's a blue-alert situation.
LISTER: We all are on our toes.
RIMMER: May I remind you all of Space Corps Directive 34124?
KRYTEN: 34124. "No officer with false teeth should attempt oral sex in zero gravity".
RIMMER: Damn you both, all the way to Hades! I want to go to Blue Alert!
LISTER: Ok, ok.

LISTER presses a button. The "Alert" box on the wall starts to flash blue.

RIMMER: Thank you. A bit of professionalism.
KRYTEN: Wait! I've got something - I'm punching it up.

Model Shot.

We see a view of an orange, comet-like thing speeding through space

Int. Cockpit.

LISTER: Too small for a vessel... maybe some kind of missile.
KRYTEN: It's impossible to tell at this range. Whatever it is, they clearly have a technology way in advance of our own!
LISTER: So do the Albanian State Washing Machine Company.
RIMMER: Step up to red alert!
KRYTEN: Sir, are you absolutely sure? It does mean changing the bulb.
RIMMER: There's always some excuse, isn't there?