Posted on 06/21/2009 5:39:18 AM PDT by Kaslin
Behind every great woman, you will find her dad. According to an article by Joanne Richard in the Edmonton Sun, thats the kind of extraordinary power that a father has over his daughter. Dr. Mary Jo Rapini, a psychotherapist and author, declares that the way a dad treats his little girl determines how she will feel about herself as a woman. If fathers admire their daughters achievements, character, and looks, says Dr. Rapini, that girl will become a confident and self-assured person who will choose a husband who treats her the same way. In fact, Dr. Rapini echoes the old maxim that the best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.
I think Rapini is on to something! Research studies indicate that daughters tend to marry someone who treats them like their dad treated them. That is true in our family. My husband often says that he is grateful that I am a daddys girl because he is the beneficiary of my father loving me unconditionally. Our daughter is a daddys girl, and our son married a daddys girl. It certainly has proven to be a good formula for successful marriages in our family.
Research indicates that before the age of 12, 90 percent of a girls self-esteem is shaped by her relationship with her father. Though my dad has been dead for over 20 years, I see him in the shape of my hands, in the color of my eyes, in my exuberance and in the ways that I face life in both good times and during adversity. My dad encouraged me to try anything, and he gave me the confidence to believe that I would succeed whenever I do my best.
My sister laughingly says that she was in college before she realized that she wasnt the most talented and beautiful girl around. That was the legacy of our father: each of us grew up confident in our abilities, looks, and potential. We are all confident and accomplished because daddy believed in us and encouraged us from our earliest memories.
That should not have been the case, because we lived by much stricter standards than our friends. Daddy was definitely the HEAD of our house; we were not allowed to go to dances or movies. But Daddys strict rules were not burdensome; he explained why he believed those rules were good for us, and in our weekly family counsels we had the opportunity to talk back and complain. It didnt change his mind, of course, but we let off steam, and he listened respectfully. Plus, Daddy was fun. When Daddy was there, life was a party. We had a good time; he was always ready to go to the ballgames at our school and to take the family on a picnic, to a park or on a trip.
Daddy was called to preach when I was 11 years old. No one in my fathers family had gone to college, but he determined that he could not offer God less than his best. So, he committed to getting the education necessary for full ordination and the theological training necessary for being an in-depth and powerful preacher of the Gospel. That meant uprooting our family and moving us to another state so that he could enroll in college. During those years when he was working full-time as a student pastor and attending college and seminary, we saw the light in his study shining under the door as we went to sleep. We grew up understanding the sacrifice that was necessary for excellence and the importance of giving your very best to God.
Daddy was not perfect, of course, but we never doubted his love for mother or for us. He made it easy for us to believe in Gods love because his love was so constant and unconditional. To paraphrase George Santayana, A good father is one of Gods Masterpieces. Certainly, a good daddy is one of Gods greatest gifts to a little girl.
Thanks. A while ago Dr. Laura had on a lady who’s daughter was having trouble with boys at school. Laura asked about the father and the mother said, no father, just me and my partner. Laura then something to the effect: “well, then, what do you expect?”
Many years ago I read (sorry, I no longer have the citation) that the common theme among prostitutes is the lack of physical affection during girlhood (either absent or distant) from their fathers.
The hardest thing for an adult male to do is
be a good father. It takes a lot of effort, and sometimes blood, sweat and tears.
Great article. Dads are so important and I am sooooooo blessed to have the dad I have. He taught me to have respect and pride in myself, to work hard and not to “settle.” As a result, I have the best husband! (It is so sad to see women who get walked all over, cheated on, used etc -— usually because they never had a father to instill a sense of self respect.)
Thanks.
Just for fun:
also known as
http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2009/06/23/Are-Women-Born-Like-This.aspx
Thanks. I married a daddy’s girl and it is just wonderful. I’m hoping I will get a chance to do the same if when we start our family.
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