No name-calling (Baghdad Jim's Rude secretary)

Shenanigans (Politico.Com) ^ | 6/17/09 | Anne Schroeder

[llevrok]

If you want to score a meeting with Rep. Jim McDermott (D-Wash.), know this: His scheduler/office manager, Elizabeth Becton, is to be addressed by her full name — not Liz or any other variant.

An executive assistant at McBee Strategic recently learned this the hard way. A few weeks ago, the assistant e-mailed Becton seeking a meeting with McDermott and a client, JPMorgan Chase. Days later, the assistant checked back in and unfortunately began the e-mail with “Hi Liz.”

Becton curtly replied, “Who is Liz?”

When the assistant wrote back with an apology, Becton turned up the heat. “I do not go by Liz. Where did you get your information?” she asked.

The back-and-forth went on for 19 e-mails, with the assistant apologizing six times if she had “offended” Becton, while Becton lectured about name-calling.

Becton told the assistant that if someone said using “Liz” was acceptable, then “they are not your friend”, and “If I wanted you to call me by any other name, I would have offered that to you.” Plus, it’s “rude when people don’t even ask permission and take all sorts of liberties with your name,” she said, adding: “Please do not ever call me by a nickname again.”

But the tirade didn’t end there. Becton continued her riff — responding that the assistant “got played” by someone who was trying to “tick” Becton off. Becton’s final, searing missive stated: “In the future, you should be VERY careful about such things. People like to brag about their connections in D.C. It’s a pastime for some. It’s also dangerous to eavesdrop, as you have just found out. Quit apologizing and never call me anything but Elizabeth again. Also, make sure you correct anyone who attempts to call me by any other name but Elizabeth. Are we clear on this? Like I said, it’s a hot button for me. And please don’t call the office and not leave a message. My colleague told me you called while I was away. ... I do sometimes leave my desk.”

McDermott spokesman Mike DeCesare told us Tuesday, “An apology is being issued as we speak,” adding, “This isn’t reflective of the way we do business in this office.”

Read the saucy email exchange after the jump:

» Continue reading No name-calling

Here’s a redacted version of the exchange:

From: XXX Sent: Friday, May 22, 2009 11:38 AM To: Becton, Elizabeth Subject: JPMC Meeting Request

Elizabeth,

Attached is a meeting request for JP Morgan Chase who will be in DC June 3rd-4th and would like to request a brief meeting with the Congressman.

Let me know if you need any additional information.

Thank you!

Best, XXX

________________________________

From: XXX Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:05 PM To: Becton, Elizabeth Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request

Hi Liz,

just checking in on whether the Congressman is available next week. [REDACTED] can confirm a meeting time for you - she is available at [REDACTED].

Thank you!

Best, XXX

________________________________

From: Becton, Elizabeth Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:07 PM To: XXX Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request Importance: High

Who is Liz?

Elizabeth Becton Executive Assistant/Office Manager Office of Congressman Jim McDermott XXXX Longworth House Office Building Washington, DC 20515 XXX phone XXX fax ________________________________

From: XXX Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:07 PM To: Becton, Elizabeth Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request

Hi Elizabeth, I thought you went by Liz - apologies if that is incorrect. Best, XXX

________________________________

From: Becton, Elizabeth Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:08 PM To: XXX Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request

I do not go by Liz. Where did you get your information? ________________________________

Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:10 PM To: Becton, Elizabeth Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request

Hi Elizabeth, I'm so sorry if I offended you! I thought you had gone by Liz at Potlatch, this was my mistake. Best, XXX

________________________________ From: Becton, Elizabeth Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:11 PM To: XXX Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request

NEVER. I hate that name.

________________________________

From: XXX Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:13 PM To: Becton, Elizabeth Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request

Hi Elizabeth, I'm so sorry if I offended you! I must have mis-heard. My mistake! Best, XX

________________________________

From: Becton, Elizabeth Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:20 PM To: XXX Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request Importance: High

XXX:

If I wanted you to call me by any other name, I would have offered that to you. I think it's rude when people don't even ask permission and take all sorts of liberties with your name. This is a real sore spot with me. My name has a lot of "nicknames" which I don't use. I use either my first name or my last name because I row with a lot of other women who share the same first name. Now, please do not ever call me by a nickname again.

As for your meeting request, who is the point of contact for this meeting? If it's not you, then I need to know who because it's very time-consuming to deal with a lot of people for one meeting.

Thanks,

________________________________

From: XXX Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:23 PM To: Becton, Elizabeth Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request

Hi Elizabeth, I'm so sorry I offended you! My mistake!

XXX can confirm a meeting time for you - she is available at XXX XXXX.

Thank you!

Best, XXX

________________________________ [UNRELATED EMAILS REDACTED]

From: XXX Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:33 PM To: Becton, Elizabeth Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request

Of course! Again, I am sincerely sorry for offending you. I must have mis-heard and it was in no way my intention to make you upset. I always enjoy working with you and seeing you at the WSS events J

Best, XXX

________________________________

From: Becton, Elizabeth Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:37 PM To: XXX Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request

Sounds like you got played by someone who KNOWS I hate that name and that it's a fast way to TICK me off. Who told you that I go by that name? They are not your friend...

________________________________

From: XXX Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:38 PM To: Becton, Elizabeth Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request

Hi Elizabeth,

Again, I am sincerely sorry for offending you. I don't want to cause trouble as I clearly must have mis-heard the person at Potlatch. It was in no way my intention to make you upset.

Best, XXX

________________________________

From: Becton, Elizabeth Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:41 PM To: XXX Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request Importance: High

I REALLY want to know who told you to call me that.

________________________________

From:XXX Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:44 PM To: Becton, Elizabeth Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request

Hi Elizabeth, Again, I am sincerely sorry for offending you. I don't recall who I overheard. It was in no way my intention to make you upset. Best, XXX

________________________________ From: Becton, Elizabeth Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 6:04 PM To: XXX Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request

Let me put it this way, they don't know me and perhaps they were PRETENDING to know me better than they do and pretended that I go by Liz. They did YOU a disservice.

In the future, you should be VERY careful about such things. People like to brag about their connections in DC. It's a past time for some. It's also dangerous to eaves drop, as you have just found out.

Quit apologizing and never call me anything but Elizabeth again. Also, make sure you correct anyone who attempts to call me by any other name but Elizabeth. Are we clear on this? Like I said, it's a hot button for me.

And please don't call the office and not leave a message. My colleague told me you called while I was away at the Ladies' room. I do sometimes leave my desk.

[ODDITHER]

“she has every right to ask to be treated respectfully by someone that she doesn’t know. I am also very irritated by someone presuming intimacy when I have just met them.”

Give me a break. People in positions of power may have the luxury to “Demand respect”, but this is an administrative grunt job, her duties are to provide assistance and customer service to constituents. She might prefer Elizabeth and has every right to request that for the future. She has no right to berate, become angry, and then demand she quit apologizing. Geez.......

A polite - “Thanks for your email, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Elizabeth and I am in charge of ....... I will get back with you as to the times and dates of the meeting.
Sincerely,
Elizabeth.

[cowtowney]

“And I don’t like nobody touching my stuff. So just keep your meat-hooks off. If I catch any of you guys in my stuff, I’ll kill you. Also, I don’t like nobody touching me. Now, any of you homos touch me, and I’ll kill you”

[Junior_G]

She may have gone overboard but it is irritating to be addressed by your first name let alone a diminutive by someone that you don't know.

I have never understood people who throw a hissy fit over things like that.

[Mila]

This lady is more than just rude, she has real mental issues that need to be resolved. How she manages to get any real work done while obsessing on non issues like this, is beyond me. If I were Rep.McDermott I would, perhaps temporarily, remove her from her position or at the very least suggest that she take an obviously much needed break from the job. She’s really too thin skinned to be associated with politics in any way.

I myself have gone through life with an almost unpronounceable Gaelic first name. When I married, on top of my first name, I took on an often mispronounced French last name. Seldom, if ever, are these names said correctly the first time I am addressed by strangers. Do I care? No. I laugh and tell people not to worry about it. As long as I can figure out that they are addressing me and respond appropriately, its all good.

[fieldmarshaldj]

McDermott is a wackjob, too.

[DJ MacWoW]

Her reaction was out of line but it is also very rude to presume a familiarity that doesn't exist.

Oddither, whether a government employee or a housewife, it is rude to use a nickname that has never been offered.

Junior_G, it's called good manners and we've lost them.

[sergeantdave]

Hello Liz,

Sorry to hear, Liz, that you’re offended by people calling you Liz. You shouldn’t be, Liz.

Dear Liz, Liz as a term of endearment has a long and proud history, Liz.

For example, Liz, lizards carry the prefix “Liz” in their name. But one should never call a lizard a “Liz” because it might confuse people into thinking you’re a lizard, Liz. We don’t want that, nor do we want to belittle lizards by being identified with you, Liz.

To avoid confusion amongst people thinking you’re a lizard, Liz, try adding a few “Zs” to your name, like this - Lizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Hiss out the last dozen or so “Zs” for good effect so everyone knows it’s you, and not a lizard.

This new pronounciation should garner the necessary attention you seek, Lizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Anyway, Lizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, I am so happy to be of service to you. If I can be of further assistance, don’t hesitate to call.

Goodbye, Lizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

PS - you might find flies tasty. But get them with your tongue.

[sionnsar]

Thanks to -llevrok for the ping.

Say WA? Evergreen State ping

Quick link: WA State Board

FReepmail sionnsar if you want on or off this ping list.

Ping sionnsar if you see a Washington state related thread.

[Lexinom]

Poor Lizzy.

[M0sby]

“Junior_G, it’s called good manners and we’ve lost them.”

On the face of it, I agree with you.

However, how many times must one apologize?
1?
2?
10?

Perhaps there is more to the story.
However, she corrected him.
He apologized.

Elizabeth was rude to belabor the point.

“it’s called good manners and we’ve lost them.”

[DJ MacWoW]

She didn't continue to ask for an apology. Actually she said, "Stop apologizing". She must have found it annoying too. :-)

[Puddleglum]

From what I can gather, she doesn’t like to be called Liz.

[M0sby]

Oh, I’m sure you’re right.
And, at that point, I would likely have kept on as well.
Makes sense to me for her to correct someone for not having “good manners”..

Hypocritical of her to not show them.

[DJ MacWoW]

I would likely have kept on as well.

She never asked for an apology. So what did she ask? Who put them up to it. Ahhhhhhhhhhh, they "overheard" someone use the diminutive. Becton then explains about politics and influence.

I think there was more to this and Becton was right, someone was playing them. And why would I care about a Dem lobbyist getting a smack down?

[M0sby]

Again, you’re right, she did not ask for an apology.

However, to me, in communications or correspondence, if something I say is offensive to another person, I apologize.

If I step on someone’s toes (literally or figuratively) I apologize.
I don’t wait to be asked.
I was taught that this is part of “polite company”.
(although, if after extending polite niceties, I am further rebuffed, I will likely respond in kind)

I also do not care about “some Dem Lobbyist”.
Nor do I care about Dem Jim McDermott’s secretary.

You brought up the point about manners.
That’s what I’m commenting on.

And, as far as your manners comment, I agree with you!

[carmody]

Excellent example of how a mannered person responds.
A polite - “Thanks for your email, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Elizabeth and I am in charge of ....... I will get back with you as to the times and dates of the meeting. Sincerely, Elizabeth.

That's how someone in the private sector would respond because in the private sector every customer represents profit and is therefore important. However, when you 'work' in a government office 'for the people' you don't have to be nice to the people because the TRUTH is the people work and pay for you.

[DJ MacWoW]

Dosen’t it sound like typical DC game playing? No wonder few good people run for election. Who wants to jump in a cesspit?

[M0sby]

You’re likely right about that as well..

For the life of me, I can’t get why he keeps getting re-elected!
EVEN HERE!
(I’m a bit North of his district)

[Eroteme]

A power struggle, yes, but the Aide Formerly Known As Elizabeth got creamed. This article was on Politico, and now FreeRepublic and who knows where else. An apology from McDermott's office has already been issued. From the article: McDermott spokesman Mike DeCesare told us Tuesday, “An apology is being issued as we speak,” adding, “This isn’t reflective of the way we do business in this office.”

Over time, in her new job, the name Liz might start to grow on her. She better hope so, because she's permanently stuck with it. Or, she could apply to Barbara Boxer's office, who has a special appreciation for irrational name-touchiness.