Posted on 05/13/2009 2:03:43 PM PDT by seanmerc
Well, there go my plans for dinner tonight!
She’d scare a wart off a warthog.
Happy Wednesday to the Helen Thomas ping list! FReepmail me if you'd like to be added.
My GOD!
She could make a train take a dirt road!
AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!
My eyes!! My eyes!!!
Since he's going to pick an ultra-lib anyway, might as well be a superannuated one that won't last more than a few more years.
Which one is Helen??
...so the guys can have a little fun when the robes come off.
Why do people here keep posting pictures of Helen Thomas when she was 20 - aren’t there any more mature pictures of her?
She was a peach back in the day, wasn’t she?
Should put her picture on the ‘fridge—it would keep me on a diet for life!
Icky sexist hag ping!
Superannuated—classic! Can I steal that?
You’re so ugly, when you walk into the bank they turn off the cameras.
If ugliness were bricks, you would be the Great Wall Of China.
You’re so ugly, you went to a haunted house and came out with an application.
If ugliness was a crime, you’d get the electric chair.
You were so ugly at birth, your parents named you Shit Happens.
You’re so ugly, your mate won’t have to worry about birth control...your face will do just fine.
You’re so ugly, you could model for death threats.
You’re so ugly, when you were born they put tinted windows on your incubator.
You’re so ugly, you have to sneak up on your mirror.
You’re so ugly, when you look in the mirror your reflection turns to stone.
You’re so ugly, when you sit in the sand the cats try to bury you.
You’re so ugly, your doctor is a vet.
You’re so ugly, when you were born the doctor took one look at you and slapped your parents.
You’re so ugly, you stuck your head out of the car window and got arrested for mooning.
You’re so ugly, your pet name is Scooby-Doo.
Your girl is so ugly, you gave her a hickey and got a mouthful of fur.
You’re so ugly, you have to Trick or Treat by phone.
You’re so ugly, when your mother went into labor your father went into shock.
You’re so ugly, every time your mother looks at you she says to herself, “Damn, I should’ve
just given head.”
I know why you look like a horse, because I saw your mother grazing in the field.
You’re so ugly, when we play peek-a-boo - first I peeked, then I booed.
You’re so ugly, you can sink your face in dough and make monster cookies.
You’re so ugly, they call you Taco Bell, when people see you they run for the border.
You’re so ugly, you make onions cry.
You’re so ugly, the tide wouldn’t bring you in.
You’re so ugly, I took you to see the zookeeper and he said, “Thanks for bringing him back.”
You’re so ugly, you mother had to get drunk before she breast fed you.
You’re so ugly, you went to a freak show and got a permanent job.
You’re so ugly, the police sketch artists are afraid to draw you.
You’re so ugly, when you get sick they call the vet.
You’re so ugly, you make blind kids cry.
You’re so ugly, farmers use your picture as a scarecrow.
You’re so ugly, every time you go out you get chased by the dog catcher.
You’re so ugly, when you jerk off your hand tries to fall asleep.
You’re so ugly, you can’t hail a bus.
You’re so ugly, they call you Moses because every time you step in the lake, the water parts.
You’re so ugly, you give Freddy Kruegger nightmares.
You’re so ugly, they let you park in handicapped spaces.
You’re so ugly, when you threw a boomerang it didn’t come back.
You’re so ugly, when you went to the zoo they refused to let you out.
You’re so ugly, you can’t get a date off the calendar.
You’re so ugly, when your mother went into labor the doctors went on strike.
You’re so ugly, your last name is Link and your first is Missing.
You’re so ugly, people put your picture in their car window as an anti-theft device.
You’re so ugly, that you can turn milk into yogurt, just by looking at it.
You’re so ugly, people create a Jackson Pollock style painting when they spew on the floor.
You’re so ugly, you could model for death threats.
You’re so ugly, when you were born they put tinted windows on your incubator.
You’re so ugly, you have to sneak up on your mirror.
You’re so ugly, when you look in the mirror your reflection turns to stone.
You’re so ugly, when you sit in the sand the cats try to bury you.
You’re so ugly, your doctor is a vet.
You’re so ugly, when you walk into the bank they turn off the cameras.
If ugliness were bricks, you would be the Great Wall Of China.
You’re so ugly, you went to a haunted house and came out with an application.
If ugliness was a crime, you’d get the electric chair.
You were so ugly at birth, your parents named you Shit Happens.
You’re so ugly, your mate won’t have to worry about birth control... your face will do just fine.
No supper for me tonight ... going to bed with nightmares tonight .... mom could have used that picture when I was a kid to scare me into eating my Wheaties ....
And so was conceived Hagulous, the horrible!
“I think he should pick Helen Thomas.
Since he’s going to pick an ultra-lib anyway, might as well be a superannuated one that won’t last more than a few more years.”
Ruth Bader Ginsburg probably agrees, and secretly wishes Helen Thomas will be selected. Then, for the first time in her life, people will see her as stunningly beautiful (by comparison to Helen Thomas).
Helen, here’s some free advice: the next time you get into a hatchet fight ... bring a hatchet!
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