Posted on 04/18/2009 7:05:26 PM PDT by huac
"...These were the tiny, fleeting pleasures I clung to after my son was born. They felt like all I had left. When a child was added to my life, it was as if something enormous and coveted was subtracted in return, and the transaction left me reeling, like someone who'd just gambled away his soul. I fell into a well of depression so deep I wasn't even aware of it. It was only years later, after I spoke to a psychotherapist, that I learned I was experiencing male postpartum depression...But not 48 hours after we returned home with our boy, a truth dawned on me with shocking force: my life was gone. Movies, sleeping, long showers—all gone. We became slaves to this tiny new thing living in our home...ceded nearly complete authority to my wife, then blamed both her and my son for my feelings of loss and insignificance. I took on every parental responsibility with sucked-up reluctance on the outside and contempt on the inside..."
(Excerpt) Read more at newsweek.com ...
I’ve seen a lot of these types of stories lately and it’s sad.
Yes, babies take time, but I never remember resenting it or feeling trapped. They are just such a joy... at least that’s the way I remember it.
But what’s goin’ on with all these downside of parenthood stories.
????
*This poor kid’s mama must have been sleeping around and got knocked up, because it’s pretty obvious that this guy has no balls. *
The best part of the story is the dumbass fathers twins with his wife even after the first kid totally ruins his pathetic life. So he couldn’t even man up and get a vasectomy to save himself further torment. Then the b*tch dumps him and he’s on the hook for 3 child support payments. High-larious.
Bump.
The story is a lot worse than this snippet looks.
He’d drive an hour for his doughnuts, but wouldn’t spend ten minutes of proud father face time with his son.
Fehh, you still get to go to movies after fatherhood - they are just 2 hour long toy commericals.
I believe a very important thing for a son is to know that his father is proud of him whenever he does well. Aloof and contemptuous fathers poison the next generation of men.
Parenthood goes by so fast it is more like a blur anyways.
I was 27 when my daughter was born. She was born healthy, we took her home from the hospital two days later, and she started screaming about midnight that first night.
At about 0130, I was thinking she has a clean diaper, Her mom just breast fed her, what could be wrong? Then as I sat there rocking her I passed a finger over her lips and she tried to suck on it. Somehow the thought came through that my wife’s milk hadn’t come in yet and she was hungry.
I think that may have been the point I became a father. We didn’t have any formula on hand so that was my first barely awake, eyes half closed late night trip to the store.
WHO are these people who think that just because you have a child that your life is over? no movies? no long showers? GET REAL!!! I’m pretty sure that all of us who have children still go to movies and take showers and sleep.
You know it seems to me that there is an epidemic of men who just don’t feel that paternal bond to their children.
That instinctive need to love, protect and nurture your offspring.
No kidding. I was so glad when my son was old enough to see PG movies with me. "Spiderman" was the first time for that. I was free!
“What was wrong with this 31 year old that he couldn’t hear?”
Instead of reacting out of love and compassion, he reacted out of selfishness and resentment.
Fifty years of unfettered divorce and abandonment will do that.
Absolutely bizarre.
My life BEGAN when I became a mom.
We’ve had 8 and still go to movies.
This is one of the strangest things I’ve ever read.
” But that’s not enough - then he has the shamelessness to write an article admitting his own stunning level of immaturity!”
And how insensitive are we?
He shows us how vulnerable he is - he explains to us how children are really burdens - and parenthood is a bleak existence.
Boy oh boy - we must be a bunch of heartless judgemental right wingers huh?
hee hee....that’s how they see it while failing to recognize his total disregard for A BABY.
I swear - babies to liberals are like garlic to a vampire.
Ok, so he sucked as a father and viewed his kid as something that he had to persevere thru.
The thing is, none of those things go away after becoming a parent. You just adjust to a new schedule. Seems to me he wasn’t willing to assume the role of head of his house, and defaulted authority to his wife. Instead of working WITH her, he caved in.
Shoot, we’d get babysitters so we can still have a dinner & movie night once in a while. We take turns with the kids so the other one can have some ‘alone’ time. Divide and conquer, you know?
I would think that physician assisted suicide would be a good option for Joel - he obviously doesn't have the balls to do it himself.
“Seems to me he wasn’t willing to assume the role of head of his house, and defaulted authority to his wife.”
And that becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
She sees what a whimp he is and decides that “somebody” has to take care of business afterall.
So she eventually grows up because she was forced to take sole responsibility.
After awhile she is the natural leader and he is wondering exactly how it happened and gets angry about it.
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