Posted on 01/15/2009 3:56:16 PM PST by presidio9
Revision Studios, famous for the "Princess Diana Gay Bible" has launched Leviticus International, a new website which promises to help unhappy straights become gay. According to film producer Max Mitchell, creator of the site, "Jesus Christ has the power to end heterosexuals' misery and make them happy well-adjusted gays." Mitchell recently produced "Horror In The Wind," about two bio-geneticists who invent an airborne formula that reverses the whole world's sexual orientation.
Leviticus International says straights can be "born again gay" through prayer and Jesus Christ. Joseph "Bo" Kelly, of Las Vegas, NV, a former heterosexual, claims his compulsive attraction to women led him to two suicide attempts. "Now that I'm gay, suicide never crosses my mind. My partner, Todd, and I share so much more than I ever did with any of my four ex wives. I thank God for taking the sinful hetero disorder away."
How does it work? "I got on my knees and asked Jesus to release me from the spell cast by women." It took months and months of prayer until I started noticing guys' butts. Then I met Todd at church. The next thing I knew, it was Super Bowl. We were so excited by the game, let's just say there was dancing in the end zone. We moved out of the trailer into an Italian palazzo with topiary and an herb garden. I can't thank Rev. Karl enough. I'm living proof prayer really works."
Mary Bermanoff, of Dearborn, another ex straight, says she's never been so happy. "I truly am born again. Who knew Jesus could make me a happy lesbian? Twenty years with a man who smelled and never once emptied the recycle bin on the computer was more than I could take. My girlfriend, Janine, actually cooks and brings me coffee
(Excerpt) Read more at news.yahoo.com ...
You said — “Now how can they teach about religion or God and have there left wing loon homo views? I mean what bible are they reading?”
Well, of course, the *main reason* why they are going down that track — that they are — is because of the sin in their lives and their refusal to let the God of the Bible, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob to “speak to it” in their own lives. So, they reject God’s Word (at least in part, anyway).
BUT — here’s the problem, which really does stem from the rest of the Christian world. It seems that a lot of Christians have gotten into believing that they can pick and choose the parts of the Bible which are okay for them to believe and leave out other parts (which they figure must be wrong, or out-of-date, or “culturally influenced” and a list of other reasons). So, they’ve got a “cafeteria style” religion, instead of believing God’s Word, in all that it says and speaks on.
They basically don’t believe that God tells the truth in all parts of His word — and I’m talking about Christians in general. So, these homosexuals are just “taking off” from the “standard” that other Christians have *already* set up for them — to be able to “pick and choose” which parts are right and which parts are wrong.
For example, was there a world-wide flood, as the Bible says? Or, was the creation done in seven days, with each day have an evening and a morning before the next day started? Did the Israelites walk through the sea, with a wall of water on the left and a wall of water on the right, and walk through on dry land, and then when Pharoah’s men came through with their chariots, the walls of water collapsed right on top of them, and drowned them all?
You know..., all those things... Do Christians pick and choose there? Well, apparently a lot do — so why shouldn’t the homosexuals pick and choose and say, “these parts of the Bible are really representative of the culture back then but don’t apply now, because we’ve become more sophisticated and tolerant today, and we shouldn’t discriminate against those who want to choose their own lifestyle.”....??
There’s the problem..., which homosexuals are just following in the footsteps of a lot of other Christians. Unfortunately, these Christians have opened the door to the homosexuals...
Actually, depending on how you read the Bible, it can be all that matters. Personally, I got all of my religious training from Jesuits, so I understand your argument, but it doesn't make the other side any less "right."
It seems to be a favorite argument that one bad relationship can make you gay (or realize that you were gay all along). Wouldn’t it follow that one bad gay relationship could make you straight? Or that one good straight fling could make you stop being gay? Or is the argument that homosexuality is the natural human state, and that the rest of us just aren’t ready to be honest yet?
I'll just bet he did.
Thou shall not be filthy
any more you all want to add?
Umm. . . thou shalt not toss around phrases like filthy and disease ridden when you're named after King Arthur's traitorous, incestuous slut of a half-sister, probably one of the biggest bug-farms of the entire Middle Ages?
I never said I am an active homosexual. I never have, never do, and never will have sex with women. I just suffer from homosexual desires by no choice of my own. But unlike a lot of homosexuals, I believe these desires are false, unhealthy and biologically futile. My existence proves, despite what liberals would have us all believe, that homosexuals are perfectly capable of controlling their sex drives and choosing a pure lifestyle.
“Actually, depending on how you read the Bible, it can be all that matters. Personally, I got all of my religious training from Jesuits, so I understand your argument, but it doesn’t make the other side any less “right.””
I’m not saying believing scripture oneself isn’t a valid position. It’s a perfectly valid position, actually. I’m saying quoting scripture in a debate setting isn’t the most effective strategy when you’re dealing with someone who does not accept the Bible as a source of truth. For example, if you’re talking about abortion to an atheist—who doesn’t believe God exists, let alone that the Bible is the word of God—if you give them scriptural evidence for your stance, you might as well be reciting the Gettysburg Address for all they care.
are you for real?
seriously you are one messed up person, you come on here , come on homo threads and then say you are a homo but you don’t do it
either you are so messed up in the head or you are a troll either way more and more will be alerted about you
exactly
we have Julia on here who thinks she is a lesbian but doesn’t do it
it totally confirms how messed up mentally these people are
This is satire, right?
Please?
Every person has a thorn in their side. We are surrounded by evil and have to fight every day to do the right thing. Good luck with your journey.
Oh don't worry dude. He's going to end their misery! He's going cleanse them, with fire.
let me get this right
you say you’re not a homo but have desires to have sex with the same sex.
confusing
sort of like those in jail who have sex with the same sex and then get out and say they’re not queer
er if you have desires to have sex with the same sex then yes you are queer.
Julia H - Welcome to FR
Wagglebee/lj -Would one of you guys re-ping the list.
Thanks.
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Thanks, wagglbee - still under the weather typing with one arm...
You need a hot totty.. 1 oz Bourbon 2 tbls lemon 2 tbls honey in a hot cup of green tea.
Sure makes me fell better when a cold/flu got a grip on me...
gradually improving - bit by bit. Frustrating typing with one hand!
hehe - one oz of likker would put me on th floor, seriously!
I usually have a nightcap.
(I must be kin to granny Moses on the hillbillies)
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