When A Woman Isn't In The Mood: Part II (Female Nature, Sex And Men Alert)

Townhall.com ^ | 12/30/2008 | Dennis Prager

[denfurb]

You and your hubby are truly blessed to have each other. It’s funny that when you are committed to the marriage, you just know what to do....no instructions required.

[adopt4Christ]

We women are crockpots — you men are microwaves.

Mature men will appreciate and enjoy their crockpots — and be willing to allow it to simmer for awhile before eating their meal.

You are describing sex outside of relationship with a woman. That’s not what God intended marriage to be.

Doing things your way (slam bam) is something you can do alone. You don’t need a precious woman for that.

Give HER what she wants and needs, and you’ll have more intimacy (and sex) than you could ever hope for.

[denfurb]

Well, the seriousness of the abuse would be determined by the victim, I suppose. When you treat your wife like the maid you get to ****, she will feel very disrepected and unloved. Likewise, if you treat your husband like a naughty child, he will feel very disrespected and unloved...and there goes the path to divorce court.

[RobRoy]

>>I agree that she should make a good effort - but to honestly ask them to just “put out” because it’s their “duty”?<<

I agree with that statement. I think, though, since the article is written to women he is really saying the woman should “capitulate” sometimes for that reason as opposed to the husband playing the “it’s not your body but mine”* card.

*Reference to 1 Corinthians 6

[RobRoy]

>>Well, the seriousness of the abuse would be determined by the victim, I suppose.<<

Problem is, some are perpetual victims. If you look at them funny they cry abuse. And they think it is serious.

Been there.

[onedoug]

“Happiness Is A Serious Problem” bump!

[RobRoy]

>>When you treat your wife like the maid you get to ****, she will feel very disrepected and unloved. Likewise, if you treat your husband like a naughty child, he will feel very disrespected and unloved...and there goes the path to divorce court.<<

I agree with that.

[timm22]

If he thinks woman should be having sex when they are not in the mood because they are obligated to - then that tells me he does not want to accept women the way they are.

You may be correct. But think about it from the other side for a moment.

Compared to most women, a lot of men are less interested in things like talking and emotional intimacy. Think of a typical man's phone conversation (usually short and to-the-point), or how he consoles a buddy who's experienced a breakup. This is not to say men never like to have an idle conversation or are never emotionally sensitive, just that these things may be less frequent or require more "setup" than for most women.

With this in mind, imagine if someone were to say that men should ALWAYS be ready to listen to their wives or to provide emotional intimacy...regardless of the husband's mood at that time, and with no need for the wife to meet certain prerequisites to get what she wants from her husband.

If someone were to describe a husband's obligations in this way, would you say this person does not accept men the way they are?

[PapaBear3625]

However, the other point being made, at least by some, is that men are wind-up ejaculation machines, and that's simply not true of all individuals at all times. Otherwise, as I pointed out, there'd be no market for "chemical assistants."

Speaking as an older guy, there are times when the guy is in the mood but the equipment just doesn't want to crank. I'm not at the stage of needing a "chemical assist", but I understand where a guy would need it.

[Tax-chick]

Right, that’s exactly my point. If a man *can’t*, then I think it’s fair to say that he doesn’t *need to*.

[HungarianGypsy]

I wish I culd live with never look back. It would rid of much guilt.

[PapaBear3625]

As for the second part: question.... seriously, and not being terrible.... when a female is tired, which is worse, for her to say, "Not tonight. Can we just cuddle?" Or for her to fall asleep during the act?

re: "just cuddle": if you were really in the mood for a delicious chocolate sundae, would being allowed to just look at one work for you? Or would it just be annoying and frustrating?

[denfurb]

Must be hard wired in our female genes not to let go of the past. Only with the love of God can we trust Him to heal our past hurts.

[denfurb]

Well, isn’t it fair to give the gal a break if you know she is tired and not making excuses?

[Shyla]

Nice post.

My hubby and I both work long hours.

It is not a shame to go to bed and just sleep. And sleep. That feels good.

Last weekend I realized that it has been some time that we just slept. Didn’t take me long to get his attention.

He was smiling the next morning.

[denfurb]

See, that’s what I’m talking about. You both were in tune to each others needs and no one was upset and then you handled your business. You go girl!

[PapaBear3625]

A brilliant summation of all that’s needed.

[Shyla]

I had no complaints!!!

Life gets so hectic but one has to remember the fun stuff!!!

[Randy Larsen]

Here ya go, another one!

[PapaBear3625]

I was married to a woman where I took out the trash regularly, kept my messes cleaned up, in the last year bought her a motorhome, fancy jewelry, clothes, listened, went to “relationship” classes and read books. What I got for it was over a year of forced celebacy followed by divorce papers completely out of the blue. Oh, and I later learned that during that time she socked away $12,000 in a separate bank account. A comical side note. During that time she accused me of sexual abuse to the pastor but could give no specifics (there were none to give). His response was “you know, withholding sex is a form of sexual abuse”. She was done. With him and with me.

Sounds like she had decided to move on well before she served you with divorce papers, but wanted it to be seen as "your fault" among your mutual peers, and so was doing her best to make you grumpy enough to give her the reaction she wanted to provoke.