"Yes, they are. They are exquisite."
Posted on 11/17/2008 6:49:48 PM PST by hawkeye101
Comedian, Hand Model Sues Over Finger Tip Loss
DES MOINES, Iowa -- A Des Moines comedian, magician and hand model filed a lawsuit Monday in Polk County court over a lounge chair incident.
Patrick Albanese, a comedian in the play Triple Espresso, is suing Kmart and the Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia, Inc.
Albanese said he moved a lounge chair on a deck and it collapsed. Caught in the collapsing chair's front leg was his finger.
Court documents show that the "plaintiff's crushed finger tip fell beneath the deck and was later retrieved by one of the plaintiff's relatives."
The lawsuit said Kmart recalled the Sling Garden Chairs due to amputations and crushed fingers and that the companies failed to notify Albanese of the problem.
Albanese is seeking compensation for his medical expenses, lost wages, permanent partial disfigurement and loss of earning capacity.
Albanese will be part of this year's cast of Triple Espresso, which starts Wednesday in Des Moines.
"Yes, they are. They are exquisite."
I thionk that the court should do the same thing the relative did...give this guy the finger...
I not only thionk so, but I also think so...
MAN: Yes. he was not.. master of his domain.
GEORGE: (Makes a gesture saying he understands. The man nods) But how.. uh..?
MAN: (Quick, to the point) The muscles.. became so strained with.. overuse, that eventually the hand locked into a deformed position, and he was left with nothing but a claw. (Holds hand up, displaying a claw-like shape) He traveled the world seeking a cure.. acupuncturists.. herbalists.. swamis.. nothing helped. Towards the end, his hands became so frozen the was unable to manipulate utensils, (Visibly disgusted by this last part) and was dependent on Cub Scouts to feed him. I hadn't seen another pair of hands like Ray McKigney's.. until today. You are his successor. (George looks down at his hands) I.. only hope you have a little more self-control.
GEORGE: (Smiling to himself) You don't have to worry about me. (Nodding, gloating) I won a contest.
(The man nods, unsure of what to say or do)
As a magician, couldn’t he just make his finger reappear? ;-)
Well, they sold a defective product so he’ll get something, but to say that he wasn’t notified? I don’t think we want the level of personal knowldge that would allow a company to personally identify who bought what.
Was he master of his domain?
Ohhhh, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!!!!!!!!!
I know losing a finger or finger tip is serious but I laughed anyway.
LOL! Will show this to my grandkids. ;-)
Yet, further evidence of the evil Martha.
As funny as this is with George Kostanza, back in the 60’s when I was with Sears, a young girl leaned back in a cheap aluminum outdoor chair, cought her finger, bled like stink, but then had the unfortunate problem of having to go the the bank to deposit her check from Sears every month for the rest of her life!
She needs to come to grips with the loss.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.