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I'm crazy about Palin and she's everything I hate (Barf Alert)
The Seattle Post-Intelligencer ^ | September 23, 2008 | Dom Joly

Posted on 09/23/2008 8:07:42 PM PDT by 2ndDivisionVet

It's getting quite embarrassing. I'll be flicking through the "dirty" channels, hoping for a glimpse of what I desire when ... Stacey bursts in and I have to fast-flick back to "Takeshi's Castle" on Challenge. It's too late though -- she knows what I'm up to. "Have you been watching Fox News?" she'll scream accusingly. I pretend to not know what she's talking about, but this lady is not for turning. "I don't know what you find so interesting about Sarah Palin but it's got to stop -- she's a monster."

I try to bury myself deep into the comforting folds of my leather sofa. I know she's right but I am in the grip of a terrible obsession with her. I can remember when I first saw her -- all white teeth and sexy glasses and hair scrunched up in a bun like some clichéd teenager's mom fantasy. She was so ... in charge ... and so ... sure of herself ... she's not a blinker. She's everything I hate -- a right-wing born-again who feels that she might be "good" with foreign policy because she can "see Russia from my house." McCain is about as healthy as Jimmy Savile and, should he win, she'll probably be president by Valentine's Day and at war with Belgium by the spring. I know all of this and yet, I think I love her ... there, I've said it, it's out there.

I can't get enough of her. I spend hours surfing the U.S. channels to find some pundit talking about her or somebody showing footage of her looking spookily sexy while shaking hands with a crowd. I used to love Obama -- he was exciting and shiny and new -- he was our Kennedy. Suddenly, he bores me.

It's Palin I want now and I suspect that this is the same for voters in the U.S. They don't want to vote for someone who seems to be so effortlessly superior to them in almost every way -- they want somebody who is actually like them ... but a bit more glamorous. They want pigs like themselves, just in better lipstick.

I play this online video game called "Call of Duty 4" and I connect with people from all over the world and talk to them while shooting at them.

Last night I played a guy who lived in Wasilla, Palin's hometown in Alaska. He was in a band that had played at her investiture when she was made governor. He didn't have much time for her and couldn't understand the effect that she was having Stateside. Suddenly another voice piped up. This was Jif who lived in Roswell, N.M. -- home of the alien conspiracy theory. Jif was quite hard to understand as he/she had just come from the dentist where seven teeth had been removed and his/her mouth was heavily anaesthetized.

"Sarrahah Palllinn ish a gud woman. She likes gunnsh and hatesh queershh. She will win because that'sh what thish cuntry neeeddsh."

My new Alaskan friend and I were silent for a while. Jif filled the void.

"She'sh a Cwishtyan and aint no Mushlim neither -- Obama is a terrosisht and he's gonna bee gunned down anyways -- nobody's gonna let him become peshident."

"God help you," I mumbled to my Alaskan friend.

"Too late. He's apparently already on her side," he replied.

The one thing we all had in common was that we were already ignoring McCain.

It's a straight fight between Obama and Palin and I wouldn't want to call the outcome. Whatever happens, it's going to be very exciting.

I already got the 'Indy' to send me to the Olympics --aybe it'll send me to the U.S. elections. I could be assigned to Palin's camp or her bus or her boudoir. Just because it would be ... interesting ... you understand. Now I've got to go watch Fox.

**********

Dom Joly is a columnist for The Independent in Britain.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; News/Current Events; Politics/Elections; US: Alaska
KEYWORDS: 2008; 2008veep; election; elections; mccain; mccainpalin; obama; palin; sarahpalin
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Sarah has these idiots in a frenzy. I don't believe a word of this person's "Call of Duty 4" story, do you?
1 posted on 09/23/2008 8:07:42 PM PDT by 2ndDivisionVet
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To: 2ndDivisionVet
I play this online video game called "Call of Duty 4" and I connect with people from all over the world and talk to them while shooting at them.

Wow this guy is nuts, but as long as he votes for McCain, what the heck.

2 posted on 09/23/2008 8:11:34 PM PDT by Inyo-Mono (No longer holding my nose to vote - McCain/Palin 2008!)
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To: 2ndDivisionVet

Not at all. I play CODIV online and trust me you aren’t discussing politics. You are more concerned with not getting your head blown off.


3 posted on 09/23/2008 8:12:15 PM PDT by Shaun_MD
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To: 2ndDivisionVet

I beleive evry word. They are seeing truth, something they haven’t ever seen on their side, and they may hate her, but at the same time can’t tear their eyes away.


4 posted on 09/23/2008 8:12:38 PM PDT by Balding_Eagle (God has blessed the Republicans with stupid political enemies.)
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To: 2ndDivisionVet

I fell in love
With a girl that I have never met
She’s out of my league
Cause she’s running for vice president
With her hair pulled up tight
Through her glasses she looks back at me
And I know it ain’t right
But she’s my secret fantasy

Sarah
My naughty librarian
Sarah
Makes me proud to be an American

(Brian Haner)


5 posted on 09/23/2008 8:12:54 PM PDT by SlowBoat407 (Obama will give us enough hope to hang ourselves.)
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To: 2ndDivisionVet

My prayer, feel free to join in:

Father God, please come down on the perverts who would try to sexualize Gov. Palin’s public persona. Let it blow up in their faces and teach them what end is up (then have mercy).


6 posted on 09/23/2008 8:13:38 PM PDT by unspun (Tell the truth about Obama to all you know.)
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To: SlowBoat407

unfunny


7 posted on 09/23/2008 8:13:59 PM PDT by unspun (Tell the truth about Obama to all you know.)
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To: 2ndDivisionVet
cuntry

Heh...heh. He said "cuntry"....

8 posted on 09/23/2008 8:14:27 PM PDT by freebilly
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To: 2ndDivisionVet

No, not at all.


9 posted on 09/23/2008 8:14:57 PM PDT by DTogo (I haven't left the GOP, the GOP left me.)
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To: unspun

I’m a big fan of Gov. Palin. When Haner sang this tune at the Jeff Dunham comedy show in Charlottesville, you could tell that most of the audience were fans of hers too.

Sorry it’s not your cup of tea.


10 posted on 09/23/2008 8:17:02 PM PDT by SlowBoat407 (Obama will give us enough hope to hang ourselves.)
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To: 2ndDivisionVet

These ramblings were printed in a newspaper?


11 posted on 09/23/2008 8:17:07 PM PDT by word_warrior_bob (You can now see my amazing doggie and new puppy on my homepage!! Come say hello to Jake & Sonny)
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To: SlowBoat407
Sorry it’s not your cup of tea.

As a fellow believer, I can assure you it isn't in Sarah Palin's cup, either.

12 posted on 09/23/2008 8:18:42 PM PDT by unspun (Tell the truth about Obama to all you know.)
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To: 2ndDivisionVet
they try to be so cute don't they....but they're so superficial....

HOWEVER, PALIN IS A COMMANDING FIGURE WHETHER YOU ARE MAN OR WOMAN.....SHE DRAWS YOU IN..

13 posted on 09/23/2008 8:18:58 PM PDT by cherry
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To: freebilly

Three Days’ Grace ‘I hate everything about you’ (why do I love you)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1t9K9rM1SVE


14 posted on 09/23/2008 8:19:57 PM PDT by txhurl (Denali/Bolton)
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To: 2ndDivisionVet

Yeah, I’ll bet he’s playing COD4 with a guy from Wasilla. Sure. Whatever.


15 posted on 09/23/2008 8:20:12 PM PDT by conservative cat ("In politics if you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman. " -MT)
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To: 2ndDivisionVet
I'm amazed that they give this guy column space.

Talk about a waste of trees!

16 posted on 09/23/2008 8:20:22 PM PDT by Ditto (Global Warming: The 21st Century's Snake Oil)
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To: cherry

“They want pigs like themselves”

Wow. Says it all doesn’t it?


17 posted on 09/23/2008 8:21:06 PM PDT by Shaun_MD
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To: 2ndDivisionVet

Of course they are scared. Put yourself in their shoes...American leftists are trying to advance Socialism like the Labor Government in Britain did for years before Margaret Thatcher.

The last thing the American left needs is 16 years of the American Margaret Thatcher derailing their plans. They have to destroy her or they will never see a Socialist America before algores global warming kills us all in 7 years (or is it 10, whatever). They are racing against the clock.


18 posted on 09/23/2008 8:21:12 PM PDT by Eric Blair 2084 (Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms shouldn't be a federal agency...it should be a convenience store.)
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To: unspun
Father God, please come down on the perverts who would try to sexualize Gov. Palin’s public persona. Let it blow up in their faces and teach them what end is up (then have mercy).

Sorry, she is Hot..

19 posted on 09/23/2008 8:21:41 PM PDT by cardinal4 (Hussein, produce the REAL Birth Certificate!)
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To: 2ndDivisionVet

I’m on board that “Call to Duty 4” comment. That’s like an atheist attending Catholic services three times per week.

The guy likes Palin, but at the same time feels guilty about it. If that doesn’t sound like a good lapsing Democrat for ya.


20 posted on 09/23/2008 8:22:13 PM PDT by DoughtyOne (McCain, the Ipecac president... Obama the strychnine president...)
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