Posted on 09/08/2008 12:03:33 AM PDT by Hetty_Fauxvert
FRESNO -- A burglar who broke into a home just east of Fresno rubbed spices over the body of one of two men as they slept in their rooms and then used an 8-inch sausage to whack the other man in the face and head before he ran out of the house, Fresno County sheriff's deputies said Saturday.
Lt. Ian Burrimond, describing the crime as one of the strangest he's ever heard of, said a suspect was found hiding in a nearby field a few minutes later and taken into custody on suspicion of residential robbery.
Deputies, he said, had no problem linking the suspect to the crime.
"It seems the guy ran out of the house wearing only a T-shirt, boxer shorts and socks, leaving behind his wallet with his ID," Burrimond said.
Arrested was Antonio Vasquez, 22, of Fresno.
Burrimond said deputies were dispatched to the victims' home shortly after 8 a.m. Saturday regarding a burglary in progress.
The victims, both farmworkers, told deputies they were awakened by a stranger applying spices to one of them and striking the other with a sausage.
Both the spices and the sausage, Burrimond said, reportedly were obtained from the victims' kitchen.
After the man fled, the victims discovered the home had been ransacked and that some money was taken, Burrimond said.
Burrimond said the money was recovered, but that the piece of sausage used in the attack was discarded by the suspect and eaten by a dog.
"That's right, the dog ate the weapon," Burrimond said. "I tell you, this was one weird case."
Boy or Grill?
“A burglar who broke into a home just east of Fresno rubbed spices over the body of one of two men “
Wet or dry?
“Go, meat!”
Someone stole the kishka
Someone stole the kishka
Who stole the kishka,
from the butcher’s shop?
Who stole the kishka?
Who stole the kishka?
Who stole the kishka?
Someone call the cops!
Fat and round and firmly packed
It was hanging on the rack
Someone stole the kishka
When I turned my back
Who stole the kishka?
Who stole the kishka?
Who stole the kishka?
[ Find more Lyrics at www.mp3lyrics.org/x3X ]
Someone bring it back!
Someone stole the kishka
Someone stole the kishka
Who stole the kishka,
from the butcher shop?
Who stole the kishka?
Who stole the kishka?
Who stole the kishka?
Someone call the cops!
Yusef found the kishka
Yusef found the kishka
Yusef found the kishka
And he hung it on the rack.
He found the kishka
He found the kishka
He found the kishka
Yusef brought it back
Heeeeeyyyyyyyy
Hey!
huh-huh-huh-huh
Wonder if the city will sue me for selling dangerous unregistered weapons now?
and then used an 8-inch sausage to whack the other man in the face and head
Knockwurst. Hadda be a knockwurst.
Oh, man, it’s too early for this crap, LOL...
They only mention the sausage because he hid the salami.
He never sausage a thing.
Of all the puns on this thread, yours is the wiener.
Here's the police lineup of the potential perps.
Thanks......I have not even had coffee yet. Time to run to the cafeteria and get some....
THE JOKES JUST WRITE THEMSELVES SOMETIMES.....PING!!!
Obviously an out-of-stater, probably Oreganoian...
Hmmmmm.
Do I go with Douglas Adams and make a reference to A Salmon of Doubt, or do I stick with Monty Python, and assert that "Wait a minute, I didn't have the salmon loaf!"
Folks in Fresno seem weird... I think I'll keep going down I-5...
Ping. (Alex, we have Abe Froman as a FReeper.)
Maybe the burglar thought he was a Merry Nade.
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