The 7 Most Retarded Ways Celebrities Have Tried to Go Green

www.cracked.com ^ | 8/25/2008 | David Knight

[Publius804]

The 7 Most Retarded Ways Celebrities Have Tried to Go Green

By David Knight

With the threat of global warming looming, it's more important than ever that all of us appear to care about the environment.

Maybe no one works harder on this than celebrities, who make it a point to show up in the papers every now and then with their latest eco-friendly gesture. We would applaud them for this, if it wasn't for the fact that the gestures are often mind-blowingly retarded.

[redstateconfidential]

Classic Simpson’s line Marge and Homer, not really enthusiastic about getting on the bus,
are pushed on by the crowd of Springfield elite. Trent, not sensing
their reluctance, tells them they’re going on a trip to save a stand of
redwoods. Homer screams and pulls on an Emergency Exit handle. Marge
shouts out the window at Ed Begley, Jr.

Marge: Aren’t you coming, Ed?
Begley: I prefer a vehicle that doesn’t hurt Mother Earth. It’s a go-
cart, powered by my own sense of self-satisfaction.
[Begley attaches a wired-helmet to his head and quickly
drives off]

[lesser_satan]

bump

[EyeGuy]

When companies try to shove an unwanted “green” product down my throat, I ask for an alternative. I’ll often send an email letting them know that I don’t buy the environmentalist propaganda and that their former products were perfectly fine.

“Green” products are usually either more expensive, underpowered, less effective, less refined, or in general inferior to conventional alternatives.

I guess that makes me the anti-celebrity.

[EyeGuy]

When companies try to shove an unwanted “green” product down my throat, I ask for an alternative. I’ll often send an email letting them know that I don’t buy the environmentalist propaganda and that their former products were perfectly fine.

“Green” products are usually either more expensive, underpowered, less effective, less refined, or in general inferior to conventional alternatives.

I guess that makes me the anti-celebrity.

[Soliton]

My favorite Homer quote:

Alien: “Let’e eat him”
Homer: “You can’t eat me. I have a wife and three children......eat them!”

[Soliton]

My favorite Homer quote:

Alien: “Let’s eat him”
Homer: “You can’t eat me. I have a wife and three children......eat them!”

[oyez]

Salma can privite jet anywhere she wants, IMHO.

[Stayfree]

Rumor has it that the reason for Al Gore’s huge electric bill for his residence is that he has the world’s largest hydroponic pot farm growing in his basement.

[Yo-Yo]

And here I was thinking that at least the Top 5 would have been by Ed Begley, Jr. himself.

[beezdotcom]

Uh oh...he used the ‘R’ word...he’s in for it now.

[L,TOWM]

The part about Woody Harrelson’s vegan clothes leaving alone the bacon and sausages left overnight in the closet was hilarious.

[griswold3]

Yeah, dude, you can’t use that word!!

[redstateconfidential]

Well she is a lonely single mom now oyez, you really need to let her know your intentions at this point!

[peggybac]

[Flycatcher]

“Green” products are usually either more expensive, underpowered, less effective, less refined, or in general inferior to conventional alternatives.

Even if these "green" products are cheaper, overpowered, more effective, more refined, and in general superior to conventional products, I STILL won't buy them.

I will NEVER "Go Green." Just can't do it.

[edzo4]

I love when they preach about going green, and having a green convention then arrive by private jet

BTW a Gulfstream jet holds 41,300 lbs of fuel.
jet fuel weighs about 6.75 lbs per gallon on a standard day
so the aircraft holds about 6,120 gallons of fuel
my car gets 22 MPG average
so one tankful of private jet fuel would take my car 134,640 miles

the earth is about 24,900 miles around
so one tankful of fuel for a private jet would take my car around the world 5 and a half times
BTW I have had the car since 1999 and I have just under 130,000 miles on the car

so one tankful of jet fuel for Al gore and others to fly around and tell us to use less fuel could run my car for 9 YEARS!!!!
can you say hippocrites?

[Alberta's Child]

For many companies, a "green" product is one that uses less material or a different "environment-friendly" material. The primary motivation is usually financial, not environmental (they simply want to reduce costs by using less raw materials).

The new "less plastic" Poland Spring bottles are a perfect case in point. Poland Spring isn't interested in protecting the environment . . . they just want to reduce their costs by using less plastic.

[tob2]

What a bunch of goofy ideas! Especially Cheryl Crow’s.

[redstateconfidential]

My ALL TIME favorite Simpsons line..Lisa Simpson- “Grandpa, didn’t you wonder why you were receiving checks for doing absolutely nothing?”
Grandpa Simpson- “I just figured the Democrats were back in power.”
“