My wife is a good person. I’d like to think I know her pretty well.
I’ve been with her through ups and downs. Two children, maybe more to come. Hopefully grandchildren. Then I look forward to retiring with her, spending time traveling, touring our great country and the world. Maybe go back to England where I was born and show her Europe. I have no real love of Europe, but she’s never been and wants to go someday. Those are the thoughts I had when I got married to her. And they’ve only gotten stronger as the years have rolled on.
Marriage isn’t always happy, nor pretty. There will be rough times, but if both people are decent folks and committed to the relationship and the *children* then I find no reason for divorce. Both people have to know that stuff will happen in life.
I think a lot of people who get divorced multiple times are the types who always think that the grass is greener on the other side. Not that I think divorce is necessarily wrong. Ronaldus Magnus got divorced once, and then found the love of his life. We are human, mistakes do happen ;-).
The way I look at the rough times is this: Let’s look forward to when they are over, and get over them constructively.
BTW, as to marriage statistics: claiming you are Christian doesn’t make you so! I’m not technically a Christian, but I would be willing to bet that the way we live our lives is more aligned with traditional Christianity than most of the people on the street who claim they are. Just as saying that you are a Republican doesn’t make you a conservative.
But maybe I am a naive fool. I say this much, if I am — my wife can have everything if we split. She is the mother of my children, and if I made such a grand mistake in the woman I chose to marry then that’s my punishment :) And if the fault is entirely mine and she divorces me, then I deserve it as well! It will also be a good disincentive to getting married again, as several posters have alluded to!
There's a great quote from someone... "A man is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose" - - - I think you get that. I think you're living that. Peace and blessings to you and your wife. She's blessed.
Your (excellent) attitude is probably why you are still successfully married.
She probably has a good attitude, too.
“BTW, as to marriage statistics: claiming you are Christian doesn’t make you so! I’m not technically a Christian, but I would be willing to bet that the way we live our lives is more aligned with traditional Christianity than most of the people on the street who claim they are. Just as saying that you are a Republican doesn’t make you a conservative.”
Actually, many unbelievers get along with their spouses very well, much better often than when one turns to Christ (and thus friction is introduced).
A person is a Christian by being born of God, not by behaviour. C.S. Lewis wrote a piece once on Dick the Nice Atheist vs. Christian Miss Bates (who had a nasty personality). He explained that Dick’e niceness was merely a product of upbringing and who knows what a monster he’ll be in a million years when God knocks the slats out from under his human bed (we will all live forever).
Miss Bates, on the other hand, “will be very nice, indeed” by the time Christ is finished with her. He started something with her and He’ll finish it (no matter what it looks like now).
Even on a human level you don’t give a rip if your neighbor’s kid has better behaviour than your own. You’ll stand by your son because he is YOURS.
None of this is to knock you, by the way. I am so glad you do have a solid marriage. I have seen so much marital disaster in my life. These are dangerous times to play romantic games in.
My hubby, SirKit, got into a disagreement with his older sister once, because he contends that loyalty is more important in a marriage than feelings of love, because those can wax and wane over time. Folks can get angry with each other, but knowing, for sure, that this person will not leave you, simply because you made them mad for some silly reason, is a wonderful thing. It also puts the responsibility on the two of you to make your marriage the most fun and loving it can be, since it's yours and you're stuck with it. ;o)
We're coming up on 33rd anniversary, in October, and with the youngest going off to college in September, we're looking forward to a large measure of freedom in our lives. We're certainly looking forward to all four coming home to visit from time to time, but we're not dreading the 'empty nest' at all!
What a sweet, beautiful, and wise post!